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Weekly Listing Of Divorces In Cass County

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There are just as many reasons to get divorced as there are divorces.

Fargo, ND – It’s time once again to list the divorces going down in Cass County.

All of the following couples are uncoupling.

They have decided to part ways and go in different directions.

After some matrimonial restructuring, these former life partners will be relieved of their marital duties as they drop the terms “husband” and “wife” from their spousal relationships.

Here is this week’s listing of marriages that are being relocated to Splitsville:

Lori Aveline vs. Butch Barfneck
π‘…π‘’π‘Žπ‘ π‘œπ‘› π‘“π‘œπ‘Ÿ π‘‘π‘–π‘£π‘œπ‘Ÿπ‘π‘’: She didn’t take my last name.

Dorine Blavnok vs. Valim Blavnok
π‘…π‘’π‘Žπ‘ π‘œπ‘› π‘“π‘œπ‘Ÿ π‘‘π‘–π‘£π‘œπ‘Ÿπ‘π‘’: Is Scientology a cult or religion?

Marta Blinkfire vs. Kolt Blinkfire
π‘…π‘’π‘Žπ‘ π‘œπ‘› π‘“π‘œπ‘Ÿ π‘‘π‘–π‘£π‘œπ‘Ÿπ‘π‘’: Brussel Sprouts!

Jezza Borgwheezel vs. Olaph Borgwheezel
π‘…π‘’π‘Žπ‘ π‘œπ‘› π‘“π‘œπ‘Ÿ π‘‘π‘–π‘£π‘œπ‘Ÿπ‘π‘’: Definition of “clean”.

Camelia Brandagamba vs. Vernius Brandagamba
π‘…π‘’π‘Žπ‘ π‘œπ‘› π‘“π‘œπ‘Ÿ π‘‘π‘–π‘£π‘œπ‘Ÿπ‘π‘’: Impossible Impeachment Impasse.

Matilda Brockhouse vs. Cosimo Brockhouse
π‘…π‘’π‘Žπ‘ π‘œπ‘› π‘“π‘œπ‘Ÿ π‘‘π‘–π‘£π‘œπ‘Ÿπ‘π‘’: My spouse laughs too loudly.

Pamphila Brownlock vs. Jago Brownlock
π‘…π‘’π‘Žπ‘ π‘œπ‘› π‘“π‘œπ‘Ÿ π‘‘π‘–π‘£π‘œπ‘Ÿπ‘π‘’: My husband spends too much time in the basement.

Trixa Chertofski vs. Kinck Chertofski
π‘…π‘’π‘Žπ‘ π‘œπ‘› π‘“π‘œπ‘Ÿ π‘‘π‘–π‘£π‘œπ‘Ÿπ‘π‘’: Weed gummy bears.

Robin Chubb vs. Xander Chubb
π‘…π‘’π‘Žπ‘ π‘œπ‘› π‘“π‘œπ‘Ÿ π‘‘π‘–π‘£π‘œπ‘Ÿπ‘π‘’: My spouse won’t come out of the closet.

Zelda Chunkfest vs. Lester Chunkfest
π‘…π‘’π‘Žπ‘ π‘œπ‘› π‘“π‘œπ‘Ÿ π‘‘π‘–π‘£π‘œπ‘Ÿπ‘π‘’: Sense of humor differences.

Gringa Clayhanger vs. Niles Clayhanger
π‘…π‘’π‘Žπ‘ π‘œπ‘› π‘“π‘œπ‘Ÿ π‘‘π‘–π‘£π‘œπ‘Ÿπ‘π‘’: The juggling of our finances.

Starla DePhilpott vs. Gifford DePhilpott
π‘…π‘’π‘Žπ‘ π‘œπ‘› π‘“π‘œπ‘Ÿ π‘‘π‘–π‘£π‘œπ‘Ÿπ‘π‘’: Who wears the pants in our family?

Camelia Diggle vs. Uffo Diggle
π‘…π‘’π‘Žπ‘ π‘œπ‘› π‘“π‘œπ‘Ÿ π‘‘π‘–π‘£π‘œπ‘Ÿπ‘π‘’: Smartphone distraction.

Zoelle Ergerjoint vs. Knute Ergerjoint
π‘…π‘’π‘Žπ‘ π‘œπ‘› π‘“π‘œπ‘Ÿ π‘‘π‘–π‘£π‘œπ‘Ÿπ‘π‘’: Poor grammar (past participles)

Herkna Fimvest vs. Dorknel Fimvest
π‘…π‘’π‘Žπ‘ π‘œπ‘› π‘“π‘œπ‘Ÿ π‘‘π‘–π‘£π‘œπ‘Ÿπ‘π‘’: Control of the remote controls.

Bertha Flokmesker vs. Angstoid Flokmesker
π‘…π‘’π‘Žπ‘ π‘œπ‘› π‘“π‘œπ‘Ÿ π‘‘π‘–π‘£π‘œπ‘Ÿπ‘π‘’: Is the FMObserver real fake news?

Gerda Galbassi vs. Bucca Galbassi
π‘…π‘’π‘Žπ‘ π‘œπ‘› π‘“π‘œπ‘Ÿ π‘‘π‘–π‘£π‘œπ‘Ÿπ‘π‘’: Global Warming vs Climate Change.

Lalia Gawkroger vs. Sancho Gawkroger
π‘…π‘’π‘Žπ‘ π‘œπ‘› π‘“π‘œπ‘Ÿ π‘‘π‘–π‘£π‘œπ‘Ÿπ‘π‘’: My husband is losing his marbles!

Ingo Goldworthy vs. Bungo Goldworthy
π‘…π‘’π‘Žπ‘ π‘œπ‘› π‘“π‘œπ‘Ÿ π‘‘π‘–π‘£π‘œπ‘Ÿπ‘π‘’: Quid pro snow.

Melila Headstrong vs. Eliot Headstrong
π‘…π‘’π‘Žπ‘ π‘œπ‘› π‘“π‘œπ‘Ÿ π‘‘π‘–π‘£π‘œπ‘Ÿπ‘π‘’: Over-usage of our credit cards.

Lusha Inkshed vs. Joltan Inkshed
π‘…π‘’π‘Žπ‘ π‘œπ‘› π‘“π‘œπ‘Ÿ π‘‘π‘–π‘£π‘œπ‘Ÿπ‘π‘’: Einstein’s theory of relatives.

Zhway Jongburg vs. Nyork Jongburg
π‘…π‘’π‘Žπ‘ π‘œπ‘› π‘“π‘œπ‘Ÿ π‘‘π‘–π‘£π‘œπ‘Ÿπ‘π‘’: Different definition of decency.

Milava Konvalb vs. Bilavo Konvalb
π‘…π‘’π‘Žπ‘ π‘œπ‘› π‘“π‘œπ‘Ÿ π‘‘π‘–π‘£π‘œπ‘Ÿπ‘π‘’: The 5th Amendment.

Suzetta Lightfoot vs. Fulvus Lightfoot
π‘…π‘’π‘Žπ‘ π‘œπ‘› π‘“π‘œπ‘Ÿ π‘‘π‘–π‘£π‘œπ‘Ÿπ‘π‘’: Multi-level furniture.

Thora McMolten vs. Judd McMolten
π‘…π‘’π‘Žπ‘ π‘œπ‘› π‘“π‘œπ‘Ÿ π‘‘π‘–π‘£π‘œπ‘Ÿπ‘π‘’: Prayer breakfasts.

Moxie Nogbanks vs. Buster Nogbanks
π‘…π‘’π‘Žπ‘ π‘œπ‘› π‘“π‘œπ‘Ÿ π‘‘π‘–π‘£π‘œπ‘Ÿπ‘π‘’: Turning our living room into a pistol range.

Psalm Olgschmacher vs. Wellington Olgschmacher
π‘…π‘’π‘Žπ‘ π‘œπ‘› π‘“π‘œπ‘Ÿ π‘‘π‘–π‘£π‘œπ‘Ÿπ‘π‘’: Honda vs Hyundai.

Rhoda Puddifoot vs. Segol Puddifoot
π‘…π‘’π‘Žπ‘ π‘œπ‘› π‘“π‘œπ‘Ÿ π‘‘π‘–π‘£π‘œπ‘Ÿπ‘π‘’: Selection of pizza toppings.

Astoria Quivelski vs. Cyprus Quivelski
π‘…π‘’π‘Žπ‘ π‘œπ‘› π‘“π‘œπ‘Ÿ π‘‘π‘–π‘£π‘œπ‘Ÿπ‘π‘’: She is possessed by the devil!

Dayja Rafferty vs. Conrad Rafferty
π‘…π‘’π‘Žπ‘ π‘œπ‘› π‘“π‘œπ‘Ÿ π‘‘π‘–π‘£π‘œπ‘Ÿπ‘π‘’: Walls dividing every room.

Golden Rumble vs. Holman Rumble
π‘…π‘’π‘Žπ‘ π‘œπ‘› π‘“π‘œπ‘Ÿ π‘‘π‘–π‘£π‘œπ‘Ÿπ‘π‘’: Number of condiments in the fridge.

Malva Sandyman vs. Filberto Sandyman
π‘…π‘’π‘Žπ‘ π‘œπ‘› π‘“π‘œπ‘Ÿ π‘‘π‘–π‘£π‘œπ‘Ÿπ‘π‘’: My spouse is colluding with the Russians.

Pandora Smallburrow vs. Togo Smallburrow
π‘…π‘’π‘Žπ‘ π‘œπ‘› π‘“π‘œπ‘Ÿ π‘‘π‘–π‘£π‘œπ‘Ÿπ‘π‘’: Peanuts envy.

Cameo Stafko vs. Francois Stafko
π‘…π‘’π‘Žπ‘ π‘œπ‘› π‘“π‘œπ‘Ÿ π‘‘π‘–π‘£π‘œπ‘Ÿπ‘π‘’: Usage of South Park for home schooling.

Juna Tafanofleroid vs. Zix Tafanofleroid
π‘…π‘’π‘Žπ‘ π‘œπ‘› π‘“π‘œπ‘Ÿ π‘‘π‘–π‘£π‘œπ‘Ÿπ‘π‘’: Excessive flatulence.

Delvina Trumpiano vs. Rectan Trumpiano
π‘…π‘’π‘Žπ‘ π‘œπ‘› π‘“π‘œπ‘Ÿ π‘‘π‘–π‘£π‘œπ‘Ÿπ‘π‘’: Different levels of hoarding.

Mariposa Twofoot vs. Milo Twofoot
π‘…π‘’π‘Žπ‘ π‘œπ‘› π‘“π‘œπ‘Ÿ π‘‘π‘–π‘£π‘œπ‘Ÿπ‘π‘’: Difference between work and play.

Jessalyn Ugersmacker vs. Jax Ugersmacker
π‘…π‘’π‘Žπ‘ π‘œπ‘› π‘“π‘œπ‘Ÿ π‘‘π‘–π‘£π‘œπ‘Ÿπ‘π‘’: NFL Pickem choices.

Julla VanDruBoaix vs. Betan VanDruBoaix
π‘…π‘’π‘Žπ‘ π‘œπ‘› π‘“π‘œπ‘Ÿ π‘‘π‘–π‘£π‘œπ‘Ÿπ‘π‘’: Who should walk the dog?

Elna Vanpiper vs. Wermbang Vanpiper
π‘…π‘’π‘Žπ‘ π‘œπ‘› π‘“π‘œπ‘Ÿ π‘‘π‘–π‘£π‘œπ‘Ÿπ‘π‘’: Abuse of flower.

Merni Vlemeyer vs. Carvon Vlemeyer
π‘…π‘’π‘Žπ‘ π‘œπ‘› π‘“π‘œπ‘Ÿ π‘‘π‘–π‘£π‘œπ‘Ÿπ‘π‘’: Severe halitosis.

Damarni Whempest vs. Jork Whempest
π‘…π‘’π‘Žπ‘ π‘œπ‘› π‘“π‘œπ‘Ÿ π‘‘π‘–π‘£π‘œπ‘Ÿπ‘π‘’: Whether “memoji” is a valid scrabble word?

Bing Loo Xing vs. Bong Lee Xong
π‘…π‘’π‘Žπ‘ π‘œπ‘› π‘“π‘œπ‘Ÿ π‘‘π‘–π‘£π‘œπ‘Ÿπ‘π‘’: Too much/too little makeup.

Jilian Yelpstern vs. Tonk Yelpstern
π‘…π‘’π‘Žπ‘ π‘œπ‘› π‘“π‘œπ‘Ÿ π‘‘π‘–π‘£π‘œπ‘Ÿπ‘π‘’: Stacking beer cans.

Onesta Zaragamba vs. Haiduc Zaragamba
π‘…π‘’π‘Žπ‘ π‘œπ‘› π‘“π‘œπ‘Ÿ π‘‘π‘–π‘£π‘œπ‘Ÿπ‘π‘’: Lack of respect for in-laws.

Anima Zorvdunkel vs. Guavchut Zorvdunkel
π‘…π‘’π‘Žπ‘ π‘œπ‘› π‘“π‘œπ‘Ÿ π‘‘π‘–π‘£π‘œπ‘Ÿπ‘π‘’: Making coffee.

Vanna White And Pat Sajak Getting Divorced After Thirty Five Years

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Nothing lasts forever.

Hollywood, CA – The stars of America’s favorite game show are finally getting divorced.

Pat Sajak and Vanna White have decided to call it quits after thirty five good years of marriage.

The final phrase on the Wheel Of Fortune prior to them announcing their divorce was “irreconcilable differences”.

In their split-up, attorneys say Vanna will get the the cruises and most of the consonants, while Pat will get the cars, all the vowels and the letter “X”.

Vanna White will get to keep all 6,500 of the dresses she’s worn on the show, and hopefully neither will land on “Bankrupt” anytime soon.Β 

Ambien User Somnambulates To X-Wife’s House To Ask For Nullification Of Divorce

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Best not to sleep and walk concurrently.

Moorhead, MN – After taking more than the prescribed normal dosage of Ambien to help him fall asleep, Victor Rishikof walked in his sleep to the home of his ex-wife while only wearing a bath robe.

Once there, Victor repeatedly rang the doorbell at around three in the morning.

His ex-wife Sheila eventually answered the door after all the kids had woken up along with her seven dachshunds who were quite worked up into a tizzy as you can imagine.

Sleeping Victor kept standing at the door pushing the doorbell while continuously mumbling that he wanted an immediate nullifcation of their recent divorce.

A confused Victor woke up the next day in jail, listed as the adverse party on a restraining order, and suffering from extreme frostbite.

Moral of the story: During periods of global cooling, if recently divorced, wear long underwear prior to taking any nonbenzodiazepines.

Wife Divorcing Husband For Christmas Shopping At A Strip Mall

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Better think twice before shopping at a strip mall!

Fargo, ND – A Fargo woman is filing for divorce after finding out her husband was doing some “Christmas shopping” at a strip mall.

Maxine Garrison said she was driving by a local “strip mall” when she allegedly saw her husband walk into that strip mall. “I couldn’t believe my eyes. So I called my husband on his cell phone. When he saidΒ he was still at work, I knew something was up.”

Mr. Lewis T. Garrison later tried to explain in vain that he was just out doing some last minute Christmas shopping for his lovely wife and also wanted to pick out a nice card from the Hallmark store for his wife of 19 years. However, divorce papers have already been filed and the matter is now headed forΒ the dreaded Divorce Court.

Maxine Garrison warns: “If husbands think it’sΒ just OK to go spend time inΒ some seedy strip mall, especially just before Christmas, then they damn well better be ready to lawyer up!”