Tag Archives: social distancing

Spiderman Says To Wear A Mask Just Like Him

Wear a mask like Spiderman!

Spider Island, Wisconsin – Spiderman says one reason he wears a mask is to not catch the coronavirus from people who aren’t wearing a mask.

Just like Spiderman’s mask, your mask should completely cover your mouth and nose with a snug fit.

“If it makes sense for doctors to wear masks during surgery, it makes just as much sense for you to wear a mask during a pandemic,” says Spiderman.

Besides washing his hands frequently, Spiderman also tries to always social distance by staying at least six feet above others.

New Home Work-Out Program Called “Flatten Your Curves” Gaining Popularity

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Work out with Jack to help flatten your curves.

Fargo, ND – Are you stuck at home trying to work and/or just survive?

Do you have a ton of snack food in your kitchen, pantry, and garage?

Is this pandemic quarantining causing you to gain some extra weight?

Well then, you need to start doing the Flatten Your Curves home workout program!

The Flatten Your Curves home workout system was scientifically designed by the government to help taxes payers stay healthy enough to continue paying their taxes.

By doing certain exercises in a particular order, you are almost guaranteed to flatten your curves, just like our country is trying to do against the Coronavirus.

If everyone does their part by working out at home, together we can flatten our curves just in time for summertime social distancing.

Pandemic Social Distancing, North Dakota Style

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Do like the Lone Ranger did: Don’t get within gunshot distance of anyone!

Medora, ND – Serious times require serious measures, which is why North Dakotans are being asked to stay as far away from each other as possible.

How far is considered safe?

Well, the definition of a plain is one tree per square mile, and this is a good guide for ideal social distancing in North Dakota during pandemically trying times.

Take a lesson from the Lone Ranger, who never contracted any social diseases during his entire career as the Lone Ranger.

Legend has it that the Lone Ranger never got within a mile of anyone, except when he was going out on a date, when he allowed himself to get within shouting distance of the lady.

This would also explain why the Lone Ranger never had any children.