Tag Archives: wyoming

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Asked To Help Fight The Corona Virus

Super heros to fight super virus!

Super heroes to fight super virus!

Atlanta, GA – The Trump Administration is wisely asking the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles for assistance in fighting the Corona Virus War.

President Trump is personally calling upon the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle Team to lead our country’s fight against the latest spreading viral threat.

“As this Corona Virus is really starting to go viral, it totally makes sense to have the team of Leo, Mikey, Raph, and Donnie be on the front lines to battle this sick Corona Virus because these Super Turtles have a natural immunity to the Corona Virus,” tweets the president.

The FM Observer has also learned that one possible option on the table is for those who have contracted the Corona Virus to be placed in comfortable Governmental Sick Camps where they can be cared for by the Turtle Team, while being completely quarantined safely away from the rest of society.

FMO Planning An Exciting Bus Tour Excursion For Our Readers To The Fossil Fish Festival

Join us for the Fossil Fish Festival. It’s a fun way to waste a weekend and also a great way to meet people you normally would want to avoid.

West Fargo, ND – The FMO Tour Bus is being cleaned out (from our last trip to the State Prison) for our next Reader Tour Fun Package!

Where are we going this time? To Wyoming, to see the amazing Fossil Fish Festival on February 18th!

You may ask yourself: Whyoming? Well, because that’s where the Fossil Fish Festival is being held – in Laramie, which is in the state of Wyoming, which is somewhere North of Colorado.

This will be the 30th anniversary of the designation of the wonderful fossil fish “Knightia”, who is Wyoming’s official state fossil which evolved roughly 50 million years ago!

This extinct fossil fish has served as Wyoming’s State Fossil Fish for 30 years and because it is so similar to herring, they will be serving expensive pickled herring for a nominal fee of $50 per person.

Sign up for our Fossil Fish Festival Fun Package at our Corporate Office Park.

The cost for the entire Fun Package is $999.99 which does not include any food, drinks, lodging, tips, and/or emergency medical attention.

Sign up early and often so we have enough time to do some extreme vetting into your personal life and of those who may be sitting next to you for the 36 hour round trip.

Yellowstone Park To Soon Blow Its Top

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Sitting on a powder keg and giving off sparks!

Yellowstone Lake, Wyoming – We think of Yellowstone National Park as 3,500 square miles of family fun and adventure.

With all its amazing canyons, rivers, forests, and hot springs, it’s a favorite destination for many group outings.

Besides seeing Old Faithful, you will often encounter antelope, bears, bison, elk, moose, and wolves.

Unfortunately, this wilderness recreation area sits on top of a gigantic volcanic hot spot that’s about to explode.

New scientific imaging techniques show that underneath Yellowstone is a newly-formed, deeper magma reservoir of molten rock miles beneath the Yellowstone Supervolcano. This recent discovery is four (4) times larger than the shallower, previously-known magma chamber.

It is calculated that if the Yellowstone Supervolcano erupts, the power of the blast could send its animal residents flying to the moon…and beyond.

Respected magmalogist Dr. Umoto Hishomataka believes “When this Yellowstone Supervolcano decides to blow, it will make Hiroshima look like buttered popcorn.”

The Federal Government, with its infinite wisdom, is proactively trying to save all of these beautiful animals by setting up an Emergency Animal Adoption Program.

If you would like to adopt an antelope, a bear, a bison, an elk, a moose, or a wolf, please contact your Senator or Representative and indicate your preference(s).

If we all care a little bit, we can collectively care a lot.

Wear a yellow ribbon to show you care more than your neighbor.

If anyone asks what the yellow ribbon is for, ask them if they were born yesterday.

Coach Bohl To Become Pastor Bohl

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The mountains are calling me.

Fargo, ND – The spiritual leader of the champion NDSU Bison is about to trade in his coaching cap for a clerical collar. Coach Craig Bohl has announced he will be packing his bags and moving to Wyoming. He will become the head pastor at Harmony Lutheran Church in Lusk, Wyoming.

The FM Observer asked: “Whyoming?” Pastor Bohl calmly answered: “Because that is where I have been called to serve my higher power. Not to mention, that I have always loved the mountains.”

As the most successful coach in NDSU history, Harmony Lutheran Church can expect that Pastor Bohl will be their most successful minister ever. Church committee members there said they really liked his God-given ability to recruit new church members and bring out the best of everyone’s talents in their church community.

Mr. Jonas Bagley, who headed up their search committee, said that during his interview, Pastor Bohl’s ability to motivationally speak to their hearts about doing the Lord’s work in Wyoming really put him head and shoulders above all the rest of the candidates.

Church treasurer Ms. Connie Francis said she is very excited about what Pastor Bohl’s influence will be upon their upcoming stewardship drive. Their goal is to raise $1.5 million to build a new Sunday School Center and also help translate all their current teaching materials into Spanish.