Former President Jimmy Carter Says Jesus Would Drink Heineken And Vote To Legalize Recreational Marijuana
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Former President Jimmy Carter Says Jesus Would Drink Heineken And Vote To Legalize Recreational Marijuana

July 21st, 2018 | by Johnnny
Plains, GA – Former President Jimmy Carter declared this week that Jesus Christ would drink Heineken and approve of recreational marijuana. The 39th president, who describes himself as a two-time born-again Christian,...
Dog Saves Drowning Man From River And Then Eats The Man
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Dog Saves Drowning Man From River And Then Eats The Man

July 20th, 2018 | by Johnnny
Neche, ND – The good news is: a man who was suddenly drowning in the Tongue River was saved by a large and alert dog. Unfortunately, the bad news is: once the man was pulled to safety on the banks of the river, the large...
Heidi Heitkamp And Kevin Cramer Agree To Three UFC-Style Octagon Fights
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Heidi Heitkamp And Kevin Cramer Agree To Three UFC-Style Octagon Fights

July 17th, 2018 | by Johnnny
Bismarck, ND – Heidi Heitkamp and Kevin Cramer, who are both fighting for the same Senate seat, will meet three times prior to the election in order to help undecided voters make their choice. Their campaigns have agreed...
Win This 1968 Mercury Cougar By Entering Your Name At Our FMO Corporate Headquarters
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Win This 1968 Mercury Cougar By Entering Your Name At Our FMO Corporate Headquarters

July 11th, 2018 | by Johnnny
West Fargo, ND – To celebrate the fact that the FM Observer has once again won the best website award in North Dakota, we are having a drawing for a brand new 1968 Mercury Cougar. This gem of a car is a two-door hardtop...
Montana Tractor Picked Up By Tornado Lands In Minnesota
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Montana Tractor Picked Up By Tornado Lands In Minnesota

July 6th, 2018 | by Johnnny
Climax, MN – A tractor that started out in Crane, Montana ended up in Climax, Minnesota thanks to a very large and fast moving tornado. Tornadologist Corry Langfitt says he’s never seen anything like it: “Yeah,...
All West Fargoans Asked To Make A Rock Balancing Sculpture In Their Yards
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All West Fargoans Asked To Make A Rock Balancing Sculpture In Their Yards

July 6th, 2018 | by Johnnny
West Fargo, ND – The new mayor of West Fargo is informally asking all homeowners to build a rock balancing (sometimes called a cairn) somewhere in their yard. FMO: What’s the thought behind this idea? Mayor: West...
Global Spinning Is Increasing In Speed; Is It Too Late To Try And Put The Brakes On?
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Global Spinning Is Increasing In Speed; Is It Too Late To Try And Put The Brakes On?

July 4th, 2018 | by Johnnny
Spinnerville, NY – Governmental experts are now warning inhabitants of Earth that the spinning of our planet is really speeding up. Algore, who seems to be the most expert expert on this impotent issue, is predicting that...
New Game Show On Fox Called “Find Your Parents” To Be Hosted By Roseanne Barr
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New Game Show On Fox Called “Find Your Parents” To Be Hosted By Roseanne Barr

June 22nd, 2018 | by Johnnny
Brownsville, TX – The Fox Channel believes it has a new hit game show called “Find Your Parents”. Immigrant children who have recently been separated from their parent(s) while illegally crossing the southern...
Area Marshes Getting Really Bogged Down
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Area Marshes Getting Really Bogged Down

June 19th, 2018 | by Johnnny
Wetonka, SD – With the sudden gradual onset of Global Wetting, marshlands in our area are beginning to get really bogged down. “These low-lying wetlands are becoming so darned waterlogged that some are now being...
Contest Winner Eats 81 Tacos In 15 Minutes
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Contest Winner Eats 81 Tacos In 15 Minutes

June 15th, 2018 | by Johnnny
Moorhead, MN – What do you do when you’re really hungry? Well, during Moorhead’s recent Taco Eating Contest, a Moorhead man named Tomas Couch set a new record by consuming 81 hard-shell tacos in 15 minutes. The...