West Fargo, ND – Here is this biweekly’s rendition of your FM Observer’s mandatory Public Service Announcements, offered freely to you, our beloved readers, under the strict strictures of the PSA Regulatory Council of America, Section VI, Code 9, Clausette B-12, where it clearly states: Thou shalt offer thy beloved readers free Public Service Announcements of your own volition and in accordance with The Regulatory Council of America.
Here are your Public Service Announcements for the week of January 7-18, 2017 (in some particular order):
☺Edna Adams will be hosting a Book Discussion Club in her basement on Tuesdays. The first book Edna would like to discuss is The Bible.
☺Carl Doofkins has a rabbit he would like to find a home for. The Doofster says it makes a good pet or tastes great sauted in a white wine garlic deglaze.
☺Melvin and Marvin Hankster want to sell everything in their basement. They do not believe their black mold problem should negatively affect anything down there.
☺Arlene Sorna would like to thank everyone for helping look for her cat. Unfortunately, Felixia was picked up by a bald eagle and taken to an undisclosed location.
☺Glenn and Marleen Gagsetter will be hosting a family getogether in their garage on Sunday. Please bring a treat to share while remembering that Marleen is gluten-free and Glenn is glutton-free.
☺Jeni Topkins is offering baby-sitting services to help pay for her trip to Colorado.
☺Alvin Damner is looking for a replacement chainsaw blade for his Model 1100 X-Pro after his last one came flying off while Alvin was trying to jimmy-rig his galvanized steel compression pipes.
☺The graduation party for Tim Nugator has been postponed again since it does not look like graduation will be in Tim’s near future.
☺Max Glanders thinks he might have lost his cellphone near The Northern Gentlemen’s Club. Please call Max if you found it. Max’s cellphone number is: 555-555-5555.
☺Doreen Bunglower will not be hosting Bridge Club on Wednesday because she wants to watch the Harry Conick Jr. television show that day since Michael Bolton is the scheduled special guest.
☺In honor of Sid Bumer’s 90th birthday, his family is planning a surprise party for Sid. All guests are asked to dress in crazy costumes and wait quietly in the dining room until Sid wakes up from his afternoon nap.
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