Tag Archives: assault weapons

In Honor Of Humpday, Defense Dept Introduces An Old/New Military Weapon

The Zumbooruk is a mobile cannon shot from the back of a camel.

Zumbrota, MN – Cleverly being introduced on Humpday, the U.S. Military is proud to unveil one of its newest weapons to be used in conquering the world.

It is called the Zumbooruk which is a cannon shot from the back of a one-humped camel.

Even tho this idea has been around for centuries, secret military research and testing has spent billions developing this new state-of-the-art weaponry.

Due to a dearth of camels in the United States, all of the camels from zoos across the country (including Fargo’s Red River Zoo) will be called up for military duty and fitted with their very own Zumbooruk. 

Human Assault Weapon

Ban On Human Assault Weapons


Human Assault WeaponDue to the large number of incidents involving human beings using weapons to kill other human beings there will now be a ban on being a human being.

The state department released a report to Congress recommending a background check on all humans and will be closing all private birthing loop holes.

Also in the report, a call to expand prison systems to accommodate all human assault weapons.  It also suggested offering fifty bucks for voluntary submissions of any human assault weapons.