National

Lumberjack Union Working With CDC To Stop Treebola
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Lumberjack Union Working With CDC To Stop Treebola

October 19th, 2014 | by Johnnny
Treetop, North Carolina – Lumberjacks all across the country are wasting no time in their frantic effort to chop down any and all trees suspected of having the dangerous Treebola Virus. According to the Center for Disease...
White House Ebola Response Team Practicing Their Craft
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White House Ebola Response Team Practicing Their Craft

October 16th, 2014 | by Johnnny
Washington, DC – Luckily for the American people, the White House Ebola Response Team (WHERT) is constantly practicing to improve their game. Top key players of WHERT, including the newly named Ebola Czarina, Dr. Pam Demic,...
Vin Diesel Scares Off Potential Ebola Infection
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Vin Diesel Scares Off Potential Ebola Infection

October 14th, 2014 | by Nick
Dallas, TX—Certifiably intimidating screen actor Vin Diesel, in Dallas filming the newest installment of The Fast & Furious movie franchise, has reportedly stonewalled a potential ebola infection. Diesel, who we’re...
FDA Approves Ebola Vaccine Drink: Coca-Bola
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FDA Approves Ebola Vaccine Drink: Coca-Bola

October 13th, 2014 | by Kitz
Washington, D.C. – Amidst a rising tide of panic over the deadly ebola virus threat, the FDA has fast-tracked an experimental vaccine drink for mass public consumption. Coca-Bola, which promises instant immunity against the...
Weeping Christ Statue Feared To Have Ebola Virus
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Weeping Christ Statue Feared To Have Ebola Virus

October 8th, 2014 | by Nick
Milaria, Italy—As the ebola pandemic continues to build steam, countries across the globe are showing concern. The Observer has learned that a recent discovery of a weeping-blood statue of Jesus is feared to contain the deadly...