Tag Archives: eggnog

Moorhead Man Who Claims To Be The Real Santa Detained For Questioning

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There is a real Santa, and he’s being detained for questioning in Moorhead until after Christmas.

Moorhead, MN – Authorities in the quirky town of Moorhead have detained a man claiming to be the real Santa.

Investigators have a plan to hold the Santa Man until after Christmas to prove that either he is an impostor, or that he is indeed the real Santa, in which case millions of children throughout the world will not receive any presents for Christmas.

In the meantime, the Santa Man has requested some eggnog and cookies to help keep his spirits up, and some hay and salt blocks for his team of nine reindeer.

If you and your children would like to come and visit the Santa Man in jail to request presents for Christmas and possibly pet Rudolph and his friends in a temporary petting zoo, simply contact the Moorhead authorities who are detaining the real Santa and who are possibly going to ruin Christmas for everyone on Santa’s Nice List. 

Eggnog Support Groups Now Forming For The Holiday Season

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“Many people have an uncontrollable craving for Eggnog.” –Pastor Gregg Donkin

Fargo, ND – A new support group is now forming in the Fargo-Moorhead area for people who are Eggnogaholics.

These are local folks living amongst us who cannot control their desire and lust for the holiday drink we call “Eggnog”.

If you are one of these locals who load up on and then uncontrollably glug the nog by your Christmas tree, then you know exactly of what we speaketh.

For those non-Eggnog cravers, addiction to the holiday nogdrink can be as strong and powerful as being addicted to nicotine, smartphone thumbing, and watching CNN.

Pastor Gregg Donkin is the leader of the new Eggnog Support Group: “Please come and join us if drinking Eggnog is your main weakness. We will be serving free Eggnog to anyone who would like to attend our meetings but who simply cannot go one hour without Eggnog while discussing it with others who share your nogmania.”

Ironically, all the letters in “Gregg Donkin” can be re-arranged to spell: Drink Eggnog!