Tag Archives: jazz

Older Cats Not Too Hip On Trendings Of Younger “Cool Cats”

Young Felix gets some strong negative feedback from Mama Cat for wearing his new hip hat.

Cathead, PA – There seems to be a growing disconnect between older “establishment” cats and the new younger generation of kittens.

For example, some young kittens, like little Felix, are starting to wear hats to make themselves “look cool” and stand out.

Mama Cat ain’t too keen on Felix wearing his new hat, nor is she super hip on young Felix listening to Miles Davis jazz.

Felix’s mom, Mama Cat, likes a shallow bowl of milk while relaxing to music by Cat Stevens, and sometimes even finds herself meowing along to the musical Cats.

Conversely, young Felix often jams out to Cat Power, Pussy Cat Dolls, and Cat Empire while nibbling on sushi catfish, and sharing some recreational catnip with his “cool cat” friends.

Then when Mama Cat thinks it’s time for a restful cat nap, young Felix and his cat-nipped friends get busier than a one-eyed cat watching two mouse holes.

World Famous Jazz Monkey Set To Wow Fargo Jazz Aficionados

Thelonius Monkey set to take Fargo’s hot new jazz stage and wow the crowd with his unique world-class sounds!

Fargo, ND – If you are a major jazz aficionado like we are, you are in for a real treat when Thelonius Monkey comes to town with his unique jazz sounds that have won the world over and put him in the main international jazz spotlight.

“Having been playing his own kind of new-age jazz since age zero, Thelonius Monkey is his own idol and mentor. There’s really no one that can teach him anything because he does it all,” says Groove Magazine’s chief editor, Dig Jazzstone.

Thelonius Monkey describes his music as 50% eclectic, 50% electric, and 50% hectic.

He once heard a woman humming an abstruse tune at the grocery store and then immediately went home and recorded his own version of it which became his first jazz hit called Ba Nanny, which quickly jumped to #1 on the Simian Jazz charts.

For hard-to-get tickets to see the incredible Thelonius Monkey do his thing in Fargo, simply call 1-800-JAZZ-MONKEY and book your hot seats now!

Control Freak Sentenced to 100 Hours Jazz Music

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Judge jazzes up sentence.

Fargo, ND – When a disagreement over how her groceries were being bagged escalated into a screaming brawl, Wanda Tite found herself in handcuffs. Charged with public disturbance, harassment and assault, the mother of three thought she would simply pay her fine and go back to being the boss of everyone in her meticulously organized and disinfected life. She was wrong.

Upon hearing the details of the case, Judge Mel Lowe handed down what some are calling a “radical but awesome” ruling, sentencing Mrs. Tite to 100 hours of jazz music. Terms of the sentence state that the hours are to be endured consecutively in the dark back room of a local dive bar.

The courtroom was silent as Judge Lowe issued his sentence. “If I understand correctly, you went ballistic in a grocery store because your oranges were bagged with your cheese, is that right? You, ma’am, are a control freak. You have a problem. Until you realize that, you are a ticking time bomb in our community. As such, you will learn the hard way what it feels like to have no control whatsoever. You will experience the futility of trying to impart order on an orderless world. This will be your rock bottom. You, ma’am, will listen to jazz.”

Witnesses claim that after hearing the ruling, Wanda Tite frantically tried to straighten all the chairs in the courtroom before curling up in a corner and pulling out all her eyelashes. She was eventually carried away screaming “How can you do this?! Jazz?! I’d rather be dead! You sadist!”

As he brought down his gavel, Judge Lowe was reportedly overheard saying, “Beebeddy bop-zop sooowop-zop bippedy zoowww, next case.”