Experts bring mummified monkey back to life by using miraculous new technique.
Dayton, OH – After discovering a mummified monkey in an old department store’s duct work, a team of mummiologists was called in to see if anything could be done to save the mortalized monkey.
Dr. Odem Kenady, who headed up the team, said this upon being called to save the dead monkey: “We believe we now have the technology to bring mummified monkeys back to life, by slowly adding banana water to their desiccated carcass, thus allowing their body cells to literally come back to life right before our eyes. We need to at least try because: mummified monkeys matter!”
After the monkey was miraculously brought back to life by Dr. Kenady, and then deemed to be in fairly stable condition, the original owner of the miracle monkey was contacted, who said: “For the last 50 years, I’ve been wondering where my little Jo-Jo disappeared to!”
Jo-Jo is now enjoying some banana soup after 50 years of mummification.
Ironically, all the letters in Odem Kenady can be resuscitated to spell: Dead Monkey!
