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Fargo North Dakota Seeking To Copyright The Word ‘Fargo’

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Fargo ND may soon have the name ‘Fargo’ copyrighted.

Fargo, ND – Fargo city planners in smoky back rooms are secretly planning to copyright the name ‘Fargo’.

The calculated but risky move which is being co-orchestrated by Dan Grof and Rod Fang could possibly mean millions in extra revenue for the City of Fargo if things go as planned.

Both Grof and Fang have their masters degrees in Urban Development and City Planning from MIT (Moorhead Intellectual Training).

Fargo, North Dakota currently shares the name ‘Fargo’ with three other states: Georgia, Michigan, and Oklahoma.

“If we can somehow copyright the name ‘Fargo’, the other three Fargos will be forced to pay us a lot of money if they want to continue using our name,” postulate Rod and Dan as they both puff on their cigars while leaning way back in their chairs.

Ironically, both Dan Grof and Rod Fang’s full names can be re-arranged to spell ‘Fargo, ND’.

Fargo Boy Holding Helium Balloons Now Somewhere Over Michigan

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Parents: “If only he would have let go right away, maby we wouldn’t have lost our baby.”

(Somewhere over) Flint, Michigan – While playing with a bunch of helium balloons in the backyard, seven year old Tommy Sauerson decided to grab “just a few more”.

As the second-grader from Fargo’s Heritage Lower Skool began to lift off the ground, his parents were too busy making videos of Tommy with their smartphones to realize what was going on before it was too late.

By the time Tommy’s parents started to yell instructions to let go of the balloons, Tommy was already higher than their weeping willow tree.

Military radar has been tracking Tommy, who was last seen still holding onto his bunch of balloons, somewhere over Flint, Michigan.

Mrs. Sauerson rapped: “It all happened so fast. Now it’s in the past. How long will this last?”

Aesop’s moral to the story: You’ll lose touch with your kids if they start getting high at too early of an age.

Vin Diesel To Donate 4,000-Gallon Collection Of Distilled Tears To Flint, MI

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Genuine heart

Genuine heart 

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Not happy tears

Hollywood, CA – Contrary to what we all had thought, acclaimed movie badass and feared megaman Vin Diesel isn’t 100% ferocious. 

No! Upon hearing of the Flint water crisis, he’s taken the call to donate to this long-term need. Diesel will be sending them his 4,000-gallon repository of cried human tears.

He keeps a huge stock of distilled tears on hand that keep him “lit”. 

“Sadness tears give me that edge. They get drank [sic] before a lift or a shoot,” Diesel growled in between bites of raw tiger meat. “So i’ll give ’em to Flint.”

When asked where the heck he got 4,000 gallons of distilled tears, Diesel vehemently denied harvesting them. Instead, he claims, he gets them from an anonymous source in Dubai. “Flint can have what I got. I’ll just get more.”

Man High On Mushrooms Rips Off Part of Penis

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DETROIT — A 41-year-old Columbus, Ohio, man is recovering after police say he ripped off part of his penis on a drug-fueled high in Ypsilanti Township, Mich.

Washtenaw County Sheriff’s deputies found the man naked and screaming after responding to a burglar alarm at Ypsilanti Middle School about 1 a.m. last Tuesday, Sgt. Geoff Fox said Monday.

The man was kneeling outside the school, bloody from the waist down, with parts of his genitals ripped off, Fox said. He said parts of the man’s body were transferred to the hospital with him.

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