Tag Archives: north korea

Dennis Rodman To Receive Nobel Peace Prize

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The greatest rebounding forward in NBA history has just become a world leader of peace, who’s sponsored by Potcoin.

Singapore – Former basketball great Dennis Rodman was notified before leaving Singapore that he will be receiving the Nobel Peace Prize.

The official declaration reads: “By bringing North Korea’s Kim Jong-Un and President Trump together for their historic Singapore summit, we bestow upon you the Nobel Peace Prize.”

While wearing his MAGA cap and Potcoin shirt, Nobel Peace Prize winner Dennis Rodman cried at the idea of winning the Nobel Peace Prize.

Mr. Rodman: “I just don’t know what to say. To have had a roll in bringing this peace summit together is something I could only have dreamed of. Is this a dream? I don’t know. We’ll find out tomorrow when we all wake up.”

Man Who Caused Hawaii Missile Mishap Admits He May Have Pushed The Wrong Button

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Control Room may have too many buttons, and not enough ash trays.

Pearl Harbor, Hawaii – After finding the man who may be responsible for causing Hawaii’s 38 minutes of mass missile-mishap manic panic, we are now finding out more about how it may have happened.

Tong Turnbow does admit he may have accidentally hit the wrong button, but quickly follows that up with the problem being “too many buttons”.

“I have complained many times that this control room seems to have way too many buttons, half of which no one knows what they do!” says Mr. Turnbow who also believes he has been over-worked and under-paid for years.

Mr. Turnbow did also mention the Emergency Alert button may have inadvertently been pushed when he was reaching for a beer while having his morning smoke break.

Ironically, all the letters in Tong Turnbow can somehow be re-arranged to spell: Wrong Button!

North Korea To Trademark New Time Zone

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Mean time.

With news that North Korea is planning to extract itself from a time zone shared with Japan comes the apparent corporate branding of said time zone.

In bold opposition to Greenwich Mean Time (GMT), North Korea will file an international trademark to brand its time zone Korean Mean Time™, or KMT.

“Time mean in North Korea. It always mean time,” says Kim Jong-un spokesman/right-hand man Doug Jon-in.

Rumor has it that Jong-un only wants this new time zone as a means to “officially” pioneer time travel since it is Jong family tradition to be the first and best at many things. No word yet whether or not PM will be hilariously renamed “PMS”. Check back later for an update on that.

North Korean Glee Club To Tour America

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North Korean National Men’s Glee Club will tour the USA with Dennis Rodman

Pyongyang, North Korea – The North Korean National Men’s Glee Club will soon be coming to the United States.

In a deal recently hatched by North Korean Leader Kim Jong Un and U.S. Envoy Dennis Rodman, the impressive singing group will be touring all 57 states in America.

As a special gift from North Korea’s Dear Leader, Kim Jong Un has declared that Dennis Rodman will act as official tour host and defection chaperone.

The tour dates for each state will be announced once Dennis Rodman completes his required detox and rehab stemming from a recent run-in with the law.

The North Korean National Men’s Glee Club, under the direction of Mr. Sing Long Song, will be performing works which have all been written by Supreme Leader Kim Jong Un. Each song is about twenty minutes long. Some song titles include: We Love Kim Jong Un, Kim Jong Un Is Great, Dennis Rodman Is Our Friend, and We Have Nukes So Watch Out.

Travelling throughout the country by bus, each singer will be staying in host-family homes. If you are interested in hosting a singer, or want more information about this exciting tour, please contact Dennis Rodman at 1-800-THE-WORM for more specific details.