Tag Archives: woodstock

Biden Wins Dem Debate By Focusing On Clipping Coupons In The Stock Market

Old Joe Biden knows about clipping coupons in the stock market.

Westerville, Ohio – Almost everyone agrees that former Vice President Joe Biden won the 4th Democrat debate which was held in the iconic suburb of Westerville, Ohio.

Here is the key moment when former VP Joe Biden cleverly won the debate:

CNN MODERATOR ERIN BURNETT: Vice President Biden, you have warned against demonizing rich people.

Do you believe that Senator Sanders and Senator Warren’s wealth tax plans do that?

JOE BIDEN: No, look, demonizing wealth, what I talked about is how you get things done.

And the way to get things done is take a look at the tax code right now.

The idea, we have to start rewarding work, not just wealth.

I would eliminate the capital gains tax.

I would raise the capital gains tax to the highest rate, of 39.5 percent.

I would double it, because guess what?

Why in God’s name should someone who’s clipping coupons in the stock market make, in fact, pay a lower tax rate than someone who, in fact, is, like I said, the, a schoolteacher and a firefighter? It’s ridiculous. And they pay a lower tax!

Tree Toppled By Storm’s Strong Winds Damages Home Which Owner Fixes Using Only Duct Tape

Once again, duct tape proves to be the only real thing you need to fix anything.

Fargo, ND – The home of Dr. Devito Petalcu was heavily damaged this past weekend when a hurricane-force gust knocked down a very large tree onto his family’s house.

Not wanting to wait for help to arrive, the Petalcu group quickly removed the monstrous tree and chopped it up into neatly stacked firewood for the winter.

Then, Devito resourcefully used many rolls of colorful duct tape to masterfully repair the damage so as to almost make their home better than new.

Expectedly, all of the letters in Devito Petalcu can be duct taped together to spell: I Love Duct Tape!

Fargo’s Wood-Chip-Stock Festival Attracting Some Major Attractions

This is one happening in Fargo you won’t wana miss!

Fargo, ND – Organizers of the Wood-Chip-Stock Festival could not be more excited about the line-up of bands scheduled to play at this summer’s music fest!

Chick Spotwood and Tod Powo-Schick are the co-founders and keepers of the Wood-Chip-Stock Festival.

Chick-n-Tod have graciously leaked to us the list of bands currently slated to play at this year’s festival.

Main Stage: Suns Of Beaches, High Standards, Purse Puppies, Monkey Bars, The Ben Dover Group, Sunscreen Sixty, Band For Life!

Back Stage: Cosmic Muffin, Germane, Tippy Topps, Random Dogs, Epitaffy, Ipso Frackers, Liquid Smog!

Tickets for Wood-Chip-Stock Festival 2018 are free at any place that sells free tickets, or just hack information about this incredible event off of Cambridge Analytica’s facebook page.

Ironically, both Chick Spotwood and Tod Powo-Schick can somehow re-arrange all the letters in their names to spell: Wood-Chip-Stock!