Category Archives: Recipes For Success

You can build anything if you have the Recipe For Success

Many Companies See Benefits To Adding Whack-A-Mole To Their Employee Break Rooms

Ever since we added Whack-A-Mole to our break room, work is a lot more fun!

Ever since we added Whack-A-Mole to our break room, work is a lot more fun!

Fargo, ND – After celebrating a birthday at Chuck-E-Cheese, Connie Johnson had a great idea for the company where she worked.

She put a suggestion in the Suggestion Box to have Whack-A-Mole machines installed in the company’s break room.

A week later six brand-new Whack-A-Mole machines were delivered and installed in the break room where Connie works.

A recent employee survey shows that company workers have responded well to the new Whack-A-Moles.

Ben T. intimated: “I really like to play Whack-A-Mole on my breaks.”

Gladice M. typed:Whack-A-Mole helps me burn off stress in a super fun way!”

Conway J. whacks: “I was thinking about retiring soon but have changed my mind due to the Whack-A-Mole situation.”

During Another Moment Of Confusion, Hillary Says She’s Voting For Trump

I love the Donald. I am voting for the Donald and you should too!

I love the Donald! I am voting for Donald Trump and you should too!

Clintonia, USA – While ostensibly suffering from another moment of dazed confusion, Hillary’s Clinton announced she is voting for Donald Trump for president.

After her army of aides and handlers tried to negate her pronouncement, she doubled down by also encouraging others to follow her lead and vote for The Donald.

Reporters quickly tried to change the subject by asking questions about other topics such as “Hillary, what’s your favorite pizza topping?” but Hillary seemed laser focused on the fact that she wanted to vote for the Trumpster.

Daughter Chelsea blamed her mother’s apparent lapse of judgment on the pneumonia medication she has been taking ever since she just barely stumbled into that black ambulance.

President Obama blamed George W. Bush for Hillary’s problems and then went golfing.

Bill Clinton was unavailable for comment about Hillary’s confused state of mind as he was off in a corner talking to some young female reporters about women’s rights issues.

Young Man Digging Fargo Diversion By Himself

This young Fargo man was so sick and tired of all the delays that he has begun digging the Fargo Diversion by himself.

This young Fargo man was so sick and tired of all the delays that he has begun digging the Fargo Diversion by himself.

Fargo, ND – After seeing more and more red tape causing endless delays, a young Fargo man has taken it upon himself to begin digging the controversial $2.2 billion Red River Diversion.

Timmy Diggs has already dug a half mile diversion channel exactly according to the official Diversion plans and he has no plans to stop digging.

Mrs. Diggs about son Timmy: “Every time there is another delay, Timmy just goes out and digs that much harder!”

Authorities say that if Timmy continues at his current rate, the entire Red River Diversion will be done by next fall and will come in at about $2.1 billion under budget.

Timmy in his own words: “During my long five years on this Earth, I have learned that if you want something to actually get done, you either have to do it yourself, or ask me to do it for you.”

When asked what he plans on doing after the Red River Diversion Project has been completed, Timmy says he is already gearing up to build that wall on our Southern border that Donald Trump has been promising.

Amnesia Support Group Forgets When And Where To Meet

Fargo-Moorhead Amnesia Suuport Group

Fargo-Moorhead Amnesia Support Group

Moorhead, MN – The good news is that the Fargo-Moorhead area does have a special support group just for people suffering from amnesia.

The bad news is that the group has never actually met because no one has ever shown up for a meeting.

The Amnesia Support Group’s leader is supposedly Dr. Opie Sugarman but he himself has also never shown up for a meeting.

Dr. Sugarman ponders: “We are very excited for our Amnesia Support Group to finally getogether and meet for coffee and general group support since amnesia can be so very problematical for our group members who suffer from various amnesial symptoms.”

If you would like to attend the FM Amnesia Support Group’s next meeting, simply look at any listing of the local support groups that meet in our area. Just to be safe, jot down on your calendar the date, time, and place of the next meeting and try not to forget to check your calendar on a daily basis to see what you might be missing. Cookies of any kind are also very welcome!  :o]

New Meta-University Soon To Open In FM Area!

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FMO’s new Meta-University where really smart people think about thinking and learn about learning.

West Fargo, ND – Your FM Observer will soon be opening the nation’s first Meta-University for Advanced Meta-Cognitional Studies.

School Meta-President Andvork Herzlinger metacognates: “While other lesser institutes of higher learning like NDSU sometimes cause people to think and learn, FMO’s Advanced MetaSchool will have its students continuously thinking about thinking and constantly learning about learning.”

First year students will learn about learning about basic ways to metacognate and the general concepts of the Metacognitive Process in today’s world of challenges.

Second year students will add knowledge about adding knowledge about advanced study skills and monitoring their own Meta-Thoughts without the use of a smartphone.

Third year students will delve into delving into Meta-Memory capabilities and how to quickly store Mnemonic Strategies into their own metabrain compartments.

Fourth year students will build on what they’ve already been building on by being able to do full-scale self analysis testing and correctly identify Cognitive Distortions which can cause faulty thinkings.

Fifth year students will learn about Organizational Metacognition and how to apply Advanced Cognitive Restructuring applications without having to join cults such as Scientology.

If you feel you have what it takes to join our Hypercognitive Staff of instructional meta-mentors, please self-interview your self and forward your meta-results to Meta-President Andvork Herzlinger who will personally contact you about your personal meta-requirements such as salary, furniture, equipment, and food items of your choice in our over-stocked meta-refrigerational nutrition pantry.

Boy Gets Suspended From Skool For Saying ‘Shih Tzu’

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If it walks like a Shih Tzu and barks like a Shih Tzu, it’s probably safer to call it a Chinese Lion Dog.

Moorhead, MN – The day did not go the way young Raven Tufano was expecting. After doing his normal early morning routine which included taking his dog for a walk, he then headed off to school.

The teacher asked Raven’s class what different kinds of dogs they could think of. She started off by mentioning a German Shepherd since her husband was a police officer.

Raven raised his hand and said his dog named Skipper was a Shih Tzu.

After the class stopped laughing, the teacher asked “What did you say, young man?!” Raven repeated the fact that their dog was a Shih Tzu.

The next thing Raven knew was he was sitting in the principal’s office who was calling the boy’s parents discussing a possible one week suspension from school for swearing and class disruption.

Lesson to be learned: When in proper company, refer to a Shih Tzu as either a Chrysanthemum Dog or a Chinese Lion Dog.

Moral of the story: There’s a difference between being honest and being tactful.

FMO To Host Incredible Meet & Greet Session With Carson Wentz At Our New Corporate Headquarters

Carson Wentz coming home for homecoming!

Hall of Fame quarterback Carson Wentz comes home for homecoming!

West Fargo, ND – With the ever-popular Carson Wentz in the area during his NFL bye week after crushing the Pittsburgh Steelers 34-3, the FMObserver will be hosting a special Meet & Greet session with the future Hall of Fame quarterback at our state-of-the-art corporate headquarters in Wentz Fargo.

For the first 10,000 Carson Wentz fans that show up, each will receive a free autographed NFL Carson Wentz jersey for only $50, plus enjoy free Philadelphia-style lobster bisque in a white wine deglazed reduction sauce served over Conchiglie pasta (since it looks like little footballs) for a suggested voluntary offering of $35 to help cover the cost of flying the live lobsters in from Philadelphia via lobster drones.

Then, if the spirits move you, hottub in one of our many corporate hottubs after shooting clay pigeons with Carson Wentz from our rooftop party gazebo while being entertained by the infamous Philadelphia Eagles cheerleaders and the band Earth, Wind and Fire.

With thee Carson Wentz in town, it’s time to cancel your meaningless garage sale or pull your kids out of their scoreless soccer games and go catch one of the many free shuttle buses that will be continually transporting folks to and from the Carson Wentz Meet & Greet Extravaganza Celebratorial Event-of-the-Century and remember to bring lots of money for all of the free stuff!

If You See This Chipmunk, Contact Your Local Authorities Immediately

Considered to be a "chipmunk of interest", authorities would like to question this little guy.

Considered to be a “chipmunk of interest”, authorities would like to question this little guy.

Lakes, MN – The authorities are asking for your help in finding this chipmunk who goes by the name of “Mr. Chippy”.

Mr. Chippy is considered by local authorities to be a “chipmunk of interest” in a rash of burglaries and break-ins throughout the Minnesota lakes area.

Some of the things cabin dwellers have found to be missing include nuts, acorns, seeds, mushrooms, corn, berries, slugs, and snails.

Mr. Chippy is possibly armed and dangerous. He may have food and weapons stockpiled in his burrow.

If you see this Minnesota menace who stands at about 4 inches tall, has black stripes down his back and a bushy little tail, please remain calm in your home, and call your local authorities immediately to report the situation.

If Mr. Chippy should approach you while outside your home, toss a peanut away from yourself which should allow you time to quickly run into your home and lock the doors and windows.

Fargo Hires Fourth Grader To Prevent System Hacking

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Child prodigy Ethan Hackett hired to protect City of Fargo’s computer systems.

Fargo, ND – The City of Fargo has decided to hire a fourth grader named Ethan Hackett to prevent hackers from infiltrating the city’s new computer systems.

Ethan’s mother tells the story that when young Ethan was but a babe, his favorite nursery rhyme was: “Hackary dackary dock, his mouse clicked on a clock”.

Lucy Bavaro who is Ethan’s fourth grade teacher says of the lad: “During our recent regional Hackathon, Ethan not only won it, but he hacked the contest and changed it to show looped Mr. Robot youtube videos. When not hacking around, Ethan likes to play hackysack with his friends.”

Ethan Hackett in his own words: “I tend to get real hacked off when other hacktivists try to hack into something that’s hackable with a hacksaw in order to do some real damage. I have always used my hacktivism to show how hackable systems are in order for them to prevent future serious data hackage.”

The City of Fargo plans to put Ethan Hackett on their payroll at a salary level which is to remain private unless it’s hacked. They also will be paying him bonus incentives in the form of bubble gum, Mashers, and iTunes gift cards.

Wounded Knee Could Leave Adrian Peterson A Paralegal For The Rest Of His Life

Adrian Peterson being assisted off the field since new home field forgot to buy a golf cart.

Adrian Peterson being assisted off the field since new home field stadium forgot to buy a golf cart.

Minneapolis, MN – After only seven quarters of football, Adrian Peterson’s 2016 season appears to be in serious jeopardy.

While Colin Kaepernick has been taking a knee during the National Anthem, Adrian Peterson is losing a knee, following in the footsteps of teammate Theodore Bridgewater, Jr.

After an underwhelming 12 carries for 19 yards against the visiting Packers, losing Adrian Peterson would be an overwhelming loss for the Vikings.

On a negative note, the game against the Green Bay Packers could leave Adrian Peterson as a paralegal with the Vikings for the rest of his life.

On a positive note, former Vikings defensive tackle Alan Page successfully embarked on a legal career after leaving the Vikings. Page went on to serve as an associate justice of the Minnesota Supreme Court from 1993 until retiring in 2015.

Even though the Vikings ultimately won their first game in their new stadium, with the loss of Adrian Peterson it seems to be a Pyrrhic victory.