Tag Archives: united states

Delaware Has Broken Off From The United States

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Yes, it’s true. Delaware has broken free from the United States mainland is now floating toward Antarctica.

Dover, Delaware – The entire state of Delaware has somehow broken off from the North American mainland just like an iceberg.

Delaware, along with everyone on it, is now adrift out in the cold Atlantic Ocean.

There are some fears that it could eventually collide (and collude) with a new large Antarctica iceberg which is also the size of Delaware and crawling with hungry polar bears that haven’t eaten for a month.

Possible reasons for Delaware breaking free from the United States include: 1. Climate Change, 2. Global Fracking, 3. Russian Hacking, and/or 4. Political Correctness Pressure to secede from the country before California does.

With Delaware now completely gonzo, the neighboring states of Maryland, Pennsylvania, and New Jersey are way more vulnerable to oceanic erosion and inland shark attacks.

Luckily, the United States still has a nice even number of 50 states because of the recent addition of financially struggling Puerto Rico.

Florida Hurricane Giving Zika Mosquitos A Free Ride To The Entire East Coast

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Mosquitos that carry the Zika are called Mozikos.

Miami, FL – As hazardous Hurricane Hermine passed over Florida, most people were worried about the obvious winds, rains, and flooding from a category one hurricane.

What most people did not realize was that as tropical storm Hermine moved up along the East Coast, the mosquitos that carry the Zika Virus (mozikos) would get transported to new areas of the country.

So now, the toublesome Zika Virus will be spread much further North and much more quickly than previously predicted by the CDC and the FMObserver.

Luckily, your FMObserver has vigilant observers throughout the country who are constantly observing this and other potentially problematic situations, such as the Facebook satellite and Hillary’s hacked email server.