Tag Archives: dog owners

Selling Stolen Pets Becoming Big Business

Your little Trixy could be sold multiple times at underground pet auctions.

Fargo, ND – More and more people in the Fargo-Moorhead area are having their pets stolen. If this isn’t bad enough, these pets are then sold multiple times at underground pet auctions, sometimes while having to wear funny costumes.

The Sheriff’s office says some of the “bad people” are claiming lost pets, getting them from the humane society, or just stealing them from running unlocked cars or out of fenced back yards.

We were able to witness an underground pet auction while wearing a Donald Trump mask. At this auction we saw one small Shih-Tzu originally named Trixy sold as Biscuits for $100, then again by that buyer as Bingo for $200, and then again by that buyer as Flex for $350.

Apparently during winter months, after a dog or cat is stolen, they are then quickly transported through a series of snow tunnels. The problem is getting so bad that some people are hiring guard dogs to protect their pets, but those too are getting stolen.

We asked the Sheriff and one of his deputies what the answer is to this pervasive problem? Their answer was, at least during the winter months, to not allow systems of snow tunnels to be built within city limits.

When learning about how wide-spread the problem is, the astounding number of pets being stolen shocked the Sheriff, but did not shock the deputy.

Fargo Man Arrested For Leaving Dog Outside Too Long

Shih Tzu puppy named Pixy is the latest casualty in the War On Global Cooling.

Fargo, ND – The good news is: that Mr. Dorf Gonez got a cute little new Shih Tzu puppy for his family as a Christmas present.

The bad news is: that Mr. Dorf Gonez forgot that their new little Pixy was tied up outside while Dorf got lost playing his new video games.

When his wife finally asked “Hay, where the hell is Pixy?”, Mr. Dorf Gonez went outside to find their new Shih Tzu puppy all frozen up like an ice cube tray in a freezer set to the coldest possible setting.

The Fargo Criminal Canine Task Force showed up shortly after that to arrest Mr. Dorf Gonez for gross aggravated negligence.

Sadly, all the letters in Dorf Gonez can be coldly re-arranged to spell: Frozen Dog!

New Chinese Poodle Puppies Come In Variety Of Colours

You can literally get your Chinese Poodle Pup in any color imaginable.

獣兵衛忍風帖, China – Have you been waiting to get a puppy until new color choices were available? Were you wishing that the colors of Chinese Poodle Puppies were only limited by infinity? Have you been waiting to get a dog that would blow the minds of all your neighbors? Well, your wait is finally over!

Now, thanks to some advanced genetic engineering and a wide variety of new paint colors, you can get your new Chinese Poodle Pup in “pretty much any color or combination of colors” that you might ever want to consider.

Benga Chnikong is the President of the Chinese Poodle Pup Corp: “We are very excited about the future of our industry. After Ping Pong, we hope Chinese Poodle Pups are our second biggest export to the outside world.”

The FM Observer was lucky enough to receive about a dozen Chinese Poodle Pups in a spectral gamut of colours. If you are one of the first twelve people to leave a comment to this post, your name will be entered into a circular file out of which you could win your very own Chinese Poodle Pup. Sorry, only one per person, and you will have to accept the random color you’re given, and no exchanges or returns will be allowed.

Many Fargo Dogs And Dog Owners Using Magic Mushroom Therapy To Create A Closer Bondage

Get to know your dog through Mushroom Therapy.

Get to know your dog better through the magic of Magic Mushroom Therapy™.

Fargo, ND – For dog owners wanting to create a closer bond between themselves and their dogs, Magic Mushroom Therapy™ is showing some very promising results.

Magic Mushroom Therapy™ now can safely provide you and your dog a weekend bonding experience like no other.

After sending for your Magic Mushroom Therapy™ kit, you will receive a brightly-colored box in the mail that contains everything that you will need inside.

On a quiet Friday night, first put out the sign provided in the box that says “Warning: Dog and Owner Tripping On Mushrooms”.

Then give half of the mushrooms to your dog while you eat the other half.

Use the rope provided to tie your ankle to your dog’s ankle.

(These first two steps are the beginning of your bonding experience.)

Over the next few nights and days, you and your dog will experience a wide range of fun and unusual adventures all in the privacy and safety of your own home or apartment.

Hopefully by sometime on Sunday afternoon when things begin to “settle down” a bit, you and your dog will feel much closer to each other as well as have a new-found deep trust that only comes from undergoing Magic Mushroom Therapy™ together.