Tag Archives: fundraiser

At Zeitgeist Funeral Home, We Put The “Fun” In Funerals!

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We put the Fun in Funeral!

West Fargo, ND – Gone are the days when funerals were melancholy, mournful, and morose.

Zeitgeist Funeral Home believes funerals should be a fun celebration.

Dr. Agustine Elefritz created Zeitgeist Funeral Home to put some serious fun into serious funerals.

“At Zeitgeist, we don’t see why funerals can’t have some colorful balloons and streamers, along with happy upbeat music and fun games that make people feel good,” says Dr. Elefritz.

Zeitgeist Funeral Home offers many different Fun Packages from which to choose.

Dr. Elefritz tells people that “if you want a funeral that is dark and somber, go somewhere else. But if you want a kick-ass fun funeral that everyone will remember for weeks, then just give us folks at Zeitgeist Funeral Home a quick buzz from your cell.”

Somewhat expectedly, all of the letters in “Agustine Elefritz” can be funly re-arranged to spell: Zeitgeist Funeral!

Proceeds From Famous Painting By Amsterdam Douglass To Help Fund Fargo’s Flood Fight

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Pórtráit óf Ivóry Mittán by Amsterdam Douglass to be auctioned off to help save Fargo.

Fargo, ND – Fargo’s very own Amsterdam Douglass is donating his most famous recent painting for auction to help raise funds for Fargo’s focused fight for freedom from feared forecasted floods.

The painting, which is cleverly entitled Pórtráit óf Ivóry Mittán is valued at $1.8 million because: 1. It is by Amsterdam Douglass, and 2. It is the last known portrait painted of the famous Ivóry Mittán before getting violently struck and killed by a distracted driver who was texting “LOL” to a lame Michael Jackson joke.

Besides helping fill millions of sandbags, you can assist Fargo’s flood fight by donating money to the cause via purchasing a flood fight T-shirt which displays the acronym: F.L.O.O.D. = Fargo Loves Our Own Diversion.

Todd Rundgren Opens Moorhead Concert With A Prayer For President Trump

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Trump-lover Todd Rundgren leads the audience in prayer for President Donald Trump prior to his concert.

Moorhead, MN – Many who attended the Yes/Todd Rundgren concert were pleasantly delighted when Mr. Rundgren opened the concert with a nice long Hawaiian prayer for President Donald Trump.

Unfortunately, they were not pleasantly surprised when YES did not show up due to some serious family problems.

Luckily, Todd Rundgren was then able to dedicate his entire headlining concert to invoking spiritual help for President Trump and his entire administration whom Mr. Rundgren greatly admires.

In fact, the Toddster announced that all of the proceeds from the concert will go to help fund President Trump’s re-election campaign and also to build the tall wall to keep Americans from escaping to Mexico in an effort to avoid paying back taxes.

After the concert concluded, Todd Rundgren got a personal phone call from President Trump who said: “I don’t want to work, I want to bang on the drum all day!”

Fargo Bocce Ball Tournament To Raise Money For Its Organizers

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Who will be Fargo’s Bocce Ball Champ?

Fargo, ND – A city-wide bocce ball tournament will be held as a fund raiser for the personal gain of its organizers.

With an entrance fee of only $50, the tournament could raise approximately $6.5 million if enough people sign up to fill the single-elimination tournament’s giant bracket of 131,072 contestants.

After eight rounds of highly competitive bocce ball, the surviving 512 players will battle it out for another eight rounds, to get down to the final two contestants.

After 17 total rounds of bocce ball games (each to 16 points), a Fargo Bocce Ball Champion will be crowned.

Prizes, if any, have not yet been determined. First prize could possibly be a trip to Grand Forks (no expenses paid). Second prize could possibly be two trips to Grand Forks (no expenses paid), and so on, and so forth.

Amsterdam Douglass Donates Priceless Painting For Global Cooling Fundraiser

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True Blue Sky by famous local artist Amsterdam Douglass (minimum bid is $500,000)

West Fargo, ND – To get things kicked off for our Annual Global Cooling Silent Auction Fundraiser, local artist Amsterdam Douglass has graciously donated his amazing work called True Blue Sky.

Amsterdam Douglass: “Even tho it’s worth a lot more, we’re setting the minimum bid on this painting at an even $500,000 since fighting Global Cooling is such an impotent cause.”

If you would like to donate a work of art for this fundraiser, please contact Comrade Perkins. Kindly include your name, your highest level of education, and your suggested minimum bid.

If you would like to bid on any of these valuable works of art in the name of Global Cooling, bring a lot of cash and enjoy the music from The Sounds Of Silence during this very silent auction.

FM Observer Donates Million Dollar Painting To Help Save Fargo’s Horse Park

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“Where The Horses Graze” by Amsterdam Douglass

West Fargo, ND – In a singular Herculean effort to raise money for the financially struggling North Dakota Horse Park which has been hounded by special assessment fees and unpaid property taxes, the FM Observer has decided to donate a million dollar painting created by our very own Amsterdam Douglass in order to: 1. Help raise awareness of the financial problems that Fargo’s Horse Park has been having since its inception, and 2. To kick start a Fund Razor which would help raise funds to help kick start another subsequent Official Fund Razor which will be called Just Hold Your Horses.

Naturally, the first Fund Razor will be called The FM Observer To The Rescue To Help Save The Struggling North Dakota Horse Park In Fargo Fund Razor.

Most of the money raised in this initial Fund Razor would go toward: 1. Getting Fund Razor #2 off the ground, and 2. Trying to reach the ultimate goal of getting the financially struggling North Dakota Horse Park in Fargo 1. Out of the doldrums, and 2. Back on track toward providing clean family fun where youngsters of all ages can learn the joy of betting on horse races, in order to prepare themselves for a lifetime of profitable gambling enjoyment.

If you would like to Meet & Greet the soon-to-be-famous Amsterdam Douglass and ask him questions about his million dollar painting, which is being donated to Fund Razor #1, simply show up, down by the Red River, under the Main Avenue bridge (which connects Fargo to Moorhead), about an hour after sunset, on any Friday night.