Tag Archives: accident

Professional Bowler Stuns Crowd During Regional Championship Tournament

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Pro bowler accidentally chucks ball up into ceiling but still manages to win the tournament!

Fargo, ND – While professional bowler Norm Duke Jr. was competing in the Midwest Regional bowling tournament at The Bowler in Fargo, an unfortunate mishap ruined what looked to be a near-perfect game.

Perhaps because of unchecked tournament nerves, or maybe it was because his controlling mother–in–law was in the crowd watching, Norm Duke Jr. somehow chucked the ball up into the ceiling at the start of the tenth frame of his final game.

The good news is that the ball did eventually return to him so that he could go on to pick up all ten pins up for a spare and win the tournament!

The bad news is that Norm Duke Jr. had to give his entire tournament winnings to The Bowler to repair all of the damage done by his wayward sixteen pound ball.

Norm Duke Jr. on his amazing win: “If the word ‘quit’ is in your vocabulary, then the words ‘finish’ and ‘strong’ are likely not. I’m just so very glad I was able to finish strong today.”

Norm Duke Sr. on his son’s amazing win: “When things sometime seem bleak, they can always get more bleaker, or less bleaker, which was the case today, thank God!”

New Detention Centers Being Built Just For Distracted Drivers

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Welcome to our new Detention Facility where you can think long and hard about your distracted driving.

Bismarck, ND – With the huge surge in accidents caused by distracted drivers, lawmakers are responding with a draconian strengthening of punishments for those who choose to endanger others with their irresponsible negligence while behind the wheel of a vehicle.

The new Blacktomb Holding Center will house Level One first-time minor violators who will lose their driver’s licenses for one year while doing community service at either an autobody shop or a hospital, whichever one they hate most.

Level Two violators will be personally escorted to the new Rockwood Correctional Facility where they can do manual labor during the day for five years and spend the evenings watching videos of actual fatal crashes caused by distracted drivers.

Finally, for the Level Three felons who have caused horrific damage, they will have ten years to think about their bad behavior at the new Firevault Max Security Prison where they will be lucky to see the light of day or their families for the next ten years of pure hellaciousness.

Fargo Man Seriously Injured In Giant Jenga Accident

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Jenga Jeopardy

Jenga Jeopardy

Fargo, ND – A fun night with friends took a terrifying turn after a Giant Jenga game suddenly collapsed, authorities say.

Fargo firefighters rescued local resident, Pete Saykes from the pile of Giant Jenga pieces around 2 a.m., about an hour after his last turn.

Friends remember that he seemed nervous and unsure about which piece to pull from the Jenga tower. “Pete just looked kind of freaked out,” said witness Jeremy Johnson. “He was walking around the game with this confused expression, almost like he knew something bad was going to happen.”

Another friend recalls Mr. Saykes having “a really hard time pulling his block out.” Seconds later, he was nearly buried alive.

Police say Pete Saykes was fortunate to survive the accident, and remind citizens to read the directions carefully when playing large-scale games.

The FMO was able to contact Giant Jenga’s creator, Uncle Leroy, in his shed behind the site of the accident. When asked about the incident, Uncle Leroy just stared at us for about a minute before walking away. He is presumed to still be in shock.

At press time, Mr. Saykes was reported to be “alive, but questionable”.