Tag Archives: add

After Iowa Caucus App Fails, Iowa Dems Using 1920’s Adding Machine To Try And Calculate The Victor

Iowa’s inability to add causes division.

Des Moines, Iowa – Once caucus leaders realized their new app apparently was unable to perform under pressure, an old adding machine was brought out of a dusty old closet.

Seemingly in dire need of a basic adding machine, Iowa Democrats somehow found a 1920s Victor adding machine to help them try to accurately determine who was rightly the victor of the country’s first presidential caucus.

Even though the results of the Iowa Democrat presidential caucus might not be certain for months, at least they have a solid and reliable piece of machinery upon which to tally the precinct totals and hopefully then one day announce with full confidence which candidate was the victor.

Moral of the story: During these modern times of apps and downs, we might still want to remember how to do things the old-fashioned way.

Flo Rida I Cry Sucks

Terrible Song Lyrics of The Week – Flo Rida (I Cry) – 01/06/2013

Flo Rida I Cry SucksThis isn’t the first time I’ve read some song lyrics and it left me completely speechless, confused, and scared at the same time.

This weeks Terrible Song Lyrics of The Week are from the Artist named Flo Rida (because he rides flows?) from the song I Cry (We all do flo.  We all do.)  The track was first released on September 18, 2012 as the fourth single from his fourth studio album, Wild Ones.

Ok, let’s get started.  But, there’s a problem.  I don’t know where to start.  I’ve read the lyrics from I Cry and it made ME cry because it was so TERRIBLE and CONFUSING.  See below.

I know you wanna get behind the wheel Only 1 Rida
Eyes shut still got me swimming like a diver
Can’t let go I got fans in Okinawa
My heart to japan quake losers and surviours
Norway no you didn’t get my flowers
No way to sound better but the killer was a Coward
Face just showers, the minute in a hour
Heard about the news all day went sour
Lil mama got me feeling like a limit here
Put you in the box just the presidents cigarettes
Give em my regards or regardless I get arrested
Ain’t worried about the killers just the young & restless
Get mad coz the quarter million on my necklace
DUI never said I was driving reckless
You & I or jealously was not oppressive
Oh no I can’t stop I was Destined

You know those people who have legit and severe Attention Deficit Disorder?  Where a conversation goes like this:

ADD Person: Hey.  What’s up?  You see Adrian Peterson run over everyone last week?  It was awesome.
Me: Yea.  He ran like a….
ADD Person: Uh Huh.  Yea.  Man the government spends too much.  Don’t ya think?
Me:  Well they certainly….
ADD Person:  I have to poop.
Me: You have to what?
ADD Person: Was that a bird or a bat outside?  Is it raining?  Damn, I have to go grocery shopping today.

Well, that is basically Flo Rida.  A terrible singer and songwriter with severe attention deficit disorder.

Can anyone read those lyrics and figure out W….T…..F Mr. Flo Rida is talking about?  Because I can’t.  He’s all over the board.  One sentence he says, “Norway no you didn’t get my flowers” and in the very next he says, “No way to sound better but the killer was a Coward.”  I can’t even make fun of it because it makes absolutely zero sense and I’m so confused.  After reading those lyrics I’m pretty sure you or your worthless writer just looked in the dictionary, closed your eyes, and randomly pointed at words then put them together to try and form a sentence.

Mr. Flo Rida, your lyrics are definitely terrible.