Using South Park for home schooling is probably the best thing you can do for your children.
Yourtown, USA – With schools being closed for the foreseeable future, many parents are choosing to educate their home-schooled children by having them watch South Park.
“Used as an educational tool, South Park checks all the boxes, plus kids love the lovable South Park characters,” says Dr. Yap Fortin who is a respected expert for using South Park as an educational tool for children being home-schooled.
FMO: To get a great education, how many hours per day should children watch South Park?
Dr. Fortin: The more the better. In fact, to binge South Park continuously would be my expert recommendation.
Ironically, all the letters in Yap Fortin can be re-arranged to spell: Profanity!
Large squirrels like these float into FM area on inverted plastic garbage can lids.
Moorhead, MN – A nice family out having a normal picnic in a well-known Moorhead park was negatively amazed when a 32-pound squirrel performed a hostile takeover of all their food.
An NDSU squirrelologist says: “Yes, we have been noticing a recent trend for the larger squirrels to float down the river into the Fargo-Moorhead area on inverted plastic garbage can lids. Once here, they seem to set up shop near a popular park, where they occasionally rob family picnics, as if they’re their personal convenience stores.”
Comments from the traumatized family:
Father: “I felt so violated and so utterly helpless while we’all just sat and watched this 32-pound squirrel rob us of all our foodstuffs.”
Mother: “The last time I was this scared was when I somehow got locked in a gas station bathroom in New Jersey!”
Tween: “That was one bad-ass squirrel! Because of this experience, I would someday like to become a squirrelologist.”
Fargo, ND – One of our best junior reporters (who recently attended FMO Summer Camp) somehow discovered a woman living up in a hammock in Fargo’s Lindenwood Park.
Our on-the-scene reporter cleverly asked the lady why she was there, living in a hammock?
Her reply was that she was getting set up early for the WE Fest and wanted to “grab a good spot before they all were taken.”
After our reporter kindly informed her that the WE Fest is down by Detroit Lakes and not in Fargo, the stunned hammocker became quite irate and proceeded to drop multiple F-Bombs on our staffer while madly throwing empty tunafish cans down from her high-hanging hangout.
Moral of the story: Don’t mess with the WE Festers, especially when they’re high.
West Fargo, ND – In a singular Herculean effort to raise money for the financially struggling North Dakota Horse Park which has been hounded by special assessment fees and unpaid property taxes, the FM Observer has decided to donate a million dollar painting created by our very own Amsterdam Douglass in order to: 1. Help raise awareness of the financial problems that Fargo’s Horse Park has been having since its inception, and 2. To kick start a Fund Razor which would help raise funds to help kick start another subsequent Official Fund Razor which will be called Just Hold Your Horses.
Naturally, the first Fund Razor will be called The FM Observer To The Rescue To Help Save The Struggling North Dakota Horse Park In Fargo Fund Razor.
Most of the money raised in this initial Fund Razor would go toward: 1. Getting Fund Razor #2 off the ground, and 2. Trying to reach the ultimate goal of getting the financially struggling North Dakota Horse Park in Fargo 1. Out of the doldrums, and 2. Back on track toward providing clean family fun where youngsters of all ages can learn the joy of betting on horse races, in order to prepare themselves for a lifetime of profitable gambling enjoyment.
If you would like to Meet & Greet the soon-to-be-famous Amsterdam Douglass and ask him questions about his million dollar painting, which is being donated to Fund Razor #1, simply show up, down by the Red River, under the Main Avenue bridge (which connects Fargo to Moorhead), about an hour after sunset, on any Friday night.