Tag Archives: slot machines

First Machine To Catch Corona Virus From A Human Is Now “Acting Funny”

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This is the first machine to allegedly get the Corona Virus from a human being.

Corona, California – The first documented case of the Corona Virus being passed from a human to a machine has now been confirmed.

The machine, whose identity is being kept confidential for now, keeps on saying the same message over and over:

“The server encountered an internal error or misconfiguration and was unable to complete your request.“

Luckily, the machine in question has been quarantined but authorities are trying to see if it possibly shared data with any other machines within the past two weeks.

Signs that a machine might have the Corona Virus include: 1. repeating weird messages, and 2. just plain “acting funny” in a general sort of way.

If you suspect that any of your machines fall into this category, immediately place them in a large container such as a garbage can with the top lid securely fastened.

Playing Slot Machines Good For Health

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Each hour spent playing slot machines doubles-down the health benefits.

Jackpot, Nevada – A new comprehensive study by casinos shows that there are numerous health benefits associated with playing slot machines.

Essentially, the more time spent playing slot machines, the healthier (and sometimes wealthier) you become.

Doctor Simon Cleath who conducted the study for the casino industry says the results were somewhat surprising.

“We knew that playing slot machines was good for your health but just did not know to what extent,” Simon says.

Documentation shows that everything from blood pressure, to heart health, to cholesterol, to stress and nervous tension show marked improvements when comparing slot machine players to people in placebo groups such as prisoners, nurses, construction workers, and deployed marines.

So, if you were contemplating hitting the local casino today but were thinking maybe you should go for a nice long walk instead, “pack your bags and gamble all night at the casino, if you want to have fun, win lots of money, and get super healthy at the same time,” Simon says.

Ironically, all the letters in “Simon Cleath” can be re-arranged to spell: Slot Machine.