Tag Archives: trucker

Here Is The Winner Of Our Annual Picture Of The Year Contest

FMO’s winning picture of the year! Semi Truckin’ by Tadd Wray of Sabin MN

West Fargo, ND – Amid mucho buzz and speculation, the winner of the FM Observer’s prestigious Picture Of The Year award was unveiled in the fabulous banquet room at our corporate headquarters.

Mr. Tadd Wray of rural Sabin, MN took home the top honors with his picture entitled Semi Truckin’.

Out of the thousands of pictures submitted to our Picture Of The Year department, this one really seemed to speak to the judges.

Tadd Wray: “I am truly humbled by this glorious win. Is there some sort of prize money that I get for winning?”

If you submitted a picture which did not win, and would like it back, please send us $50 for shipping and handling, along with your mailing information and perhaps a short paragraph about yourself.

Heineken Home Deliveries Being Well Received

Heineken Home Deliveries

Heineken Home Deliveries

West Fargo, ND – Some towns still have home delivery services of milk from the milkman.

Other home deliveries might include hot pizza and junk mail.

One of the best days in our neighborhood is when the Heineken Man makes his rounds.

Community organizer Thiv Simpskins says: “It’s always nice to have a small stockpile of biers at home during the long, cold winters.”

But if you happen to be running a bit low, it is so convenient to have a case or three of Heineken delivered directly to your front door from The Netherlands.

If interested, sign up at any place where adult beverages are sold.

Simply tell the store clerk that you are “Ready for Freddy“!

Local Trucker Inducted Into Guinness Book Of World Records For Saying “Bullshit” 312 Times In One Hour

Truck Driver in Semi TruckWest Fargo, ND—Russell Hvordsenen of West Fargo, North Dakota has been inducted into the 2014 Guinness Book of World Records for mentioning the word “bullshit” 312 times in one hour. He nearly doubled the previous record held by a local truck driver Augvald Audgard from Dilworth, MN who has held this honor since 1981 with a remarkable 165.

When asking Mr. Hvordsenen how he felt about taking over the record from the previous record holder, it became quite apparent he is currently in training to beat his own record some time this year. Russell seemed upset at the fact that Guinness didn’t really give him anything besides some “bullshit piece of paper” when he was “really hoping to get some bullshit trip out of the deal or some bullshit like that at least. This is a bunch of bullshit.”

During that rant, he mentioned the word ‘bullshit’ an extraordinary 21 times in less than 45 seconds. Simply. Epic.

Wrapping up our conversation with Russell, we asked him what the motivation was this year to make such an impact on American Culture. After asking us if we were “some sort of bullshit communist or democrat” for driving a foreign car, he simply stated this:

“Well, the weather is bullshit, management is bullshit, the government is bullshit, the grocery store is bullshit with their bullshit. Did I mention mention management is bullshit? They don’t know nothin’ and in my opinion, that’s a bunch of horseshit.”

Horseshit? This could be real exciting. We will be watching Russell Hvordsenen in 2014 real close.

-via Mike Johnson, published with permission

Trucker Breaks Guiness World Record Clogging Toilets In All 50 States

Richmond, VA – Trucker Randy Burton has made history in one of the grossest ways possible. Mr. Burton has plenty of time to think about life while on the road, and recently, he let his crazy thoughts get away from him while on the john. Early on in the spring he pondered to himself, “I’m about to absolutely destroy this toilet here in Alabama. I could probably demolish a toilet in Arkansas tomorrow. If I really dedicate my ass to this, I could decimate a toilet in every state in America!”

Randy, you could not be more correct. So right on, in fact, that the good folks at Guiness took notice and made Randy’s toilet trek worthwhile by awarding him the world record for slaying “50 Johns, 50 States, in 50 Days”. Congratulations Randy, you big nasty bastard.