Brands®. They’re everywhere®. Get used to it®.
Temecula, CA—A much-anticipated blockbuster deal has been finalized. After extensive negotiations, the FM Observer has inked a lucrative branding contract with popular sticky note manufacturer Post-It. For the next decade, the FM Observer logo will be plastered on each and every blue 3″x3″ Post-it note.
FMO Spokesman Morven Tisslancer announced the deal to shareholders this morning. “I am pleased to announce naming rights for the blue Post-it notes have been secured. Not the yellow, not the pink, not the green. The blue ones, mmkay? From now until 2026, all 3-by-3-inch blue Post-it notes will contain the FM Observer agency logo. No comment. Next question.”
The FM Observer has been aggressively seeking a naming rights agreement after US Bank outbid them for the new Minnesota Vikings football stadium. Investors and developers say the deal with Post-it comes closest to meeting shareholder expectations and in the long run, will likely surpass the simple branding of a big, ugly football stadium.
MSNBC Trade Analyst Thousman VanDelay put things in general terms on last night’s Stock Jocks broadcast. “If FMO had papered the stadium deal, they wouldn’t have seen this perfect opportunity to brand up with Post-it. This is a major win for both parties.”
Exact terms of this agreement are not known. Speculation is that FMO paid mere dollars for the privilege of having yet another obscenely-placed brand thrust in the faces of American consumers.
Expect to start becoming infuriated by this brand placement within the next Fiscal Quarter.
