Tag Archives: contest

Man’s Death Blamed On Panic Attack Caused By Extreme Frustration During Jigsaw Puzzle Tournament

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It may take weeks to put together the pieces of this puzzling death.

Fargo, ND – What began as a potentially fun afternoon gradually swirled into a personal implosion for one jigsaw puzzle tournament participant.

Mr. Lemm Tweed–Clopton entered the annual jigsaw puzzle tournament with high hopes of possibly finishing in the Top Five people to successfully complete a very challenging jigsaw puzzle in one very intense race against time.

Mr. Tweed–Clopton had not done very well in past tournaments but regular practice sessions seemed to have indicated some improvement.

Shortly after the tournament’s starting bell, Lemm began experiencing a major panic attack caused by extreme frustration from not being able to get any of the puzzle pieces to fit together.

When the ambulance showed up minutes later, Mr. Lemm Tweed–Clopton was pronounced dead, but the actual cause of death remains puzzling.

Unfortunately for him, all of the letters in Lemm Tweed–Clopton can be re-pieced together to spell: Complete Meltdown!

Poetry Contest Could Be Your Ticket

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Write and send us a poem.

Eastern West Fargo, ND – Your FM Observer has unanimously voted to sponsor another poetry contest!

Simply gmail us a rhyming poem you’ve written, preferably about your self.

Based on the quantity and quality of responses, this will possibly affect the quantity and quality of any possible prizes.

Winning poems might be published on our award-winning website.

All poems will be read at our upcoming Poetic Getogether along with a small variety of snax and sundries.

If this-all somehow speaks to your inner poet, perhaps this is your big ticket.

If you’ve been waiting for your train to leave the station, maby it’s time for you to rhyme!

>> Our gmail address is: FMObserver

Win This 1968 Mercury Cougar By Entering Your Name At Our FMO Corporate Headquarters

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Win this brand new 1968 Mercury Cougar!

West Fargo, ND – To celebrate the fact that the FM Observer has once again won the best website award in North Dakota, we are having a drawing for a brand new 1968 Mercury Cougar.

This gem of a car is a two-door hardtop which comes with a powerful 335 horse power V-8 engine, features hidden headlights, and comes with only 500 miles on it.

Not only was this the Motor Trend car of the year, but it could be yours just by entering your name for the drawing at our FM Observer Corporate Headquarters.

Other prizes include: a one-way trip to Grand Forks, a lifetime supply of shrimp, a personalized hot air balloon, rental property by NDSU, a double-decker house boat, and your very own office at the Red River Valley Zoo!

You can only enter your name once, but you can enter as many times as you’d like by using pseudonyms. Good Luck to all and thanks for reading the FM Observer!

Contest Winner Eats 81 Tacos In 15 Minutes

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How many hard-shell tacos can you eat in 15 minutes?

Moorhead, MN – What do you do when you’re really hungry?

Well, during Moorhead’s recent Taco Eating Contest, a Moorhead man named Tomas Couch set a new record by consuming 81 hard-shell tacos in 15 minutes.

The previous record set last year by Audie Boelz was an astounding 77 hard-shell tacos in 15 minutes.

Moorhead originally began their annual Taco Eating Contest back in 1970 when the taco was first discovered in Mexico by a Moorhead tour group.

FMO: So, how did you feel after you ate 81 hard-shell tacos in 15 minutes?

Tomas Couch: I probably would’ve felt better if they would’ve been soft-shell tacos!

Ironically, all the letters in Tomas Couch can be re-arranged in 15 minutes to spell: Mucho Tacos!

FMO Announces The 2018 Smartest Kids Contest

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How smart is your kid?

West Fargo, ND – The FM Observer is excitedly proud to announce our 2018 Smartest Kids Contest.

“Think of this as a spelling bee but you’re asked questions instead of spelling words,” says Dr. Thomas Tuttle, who runs the Smartest Kids Contest, and who also won his age division when he was younger.

Questions can be on any topic such as current events, general factoids, members of President Trump’s cabinet, cocktail ingredients, historical facts, who’s married to whom, sports trivia, the value of PI, and much much more.

First place winners in each age group will win a trip to Grand Forks, whilst second place winners will win two trips to Grand Forks, and so on and so forth.

If you would like to participate, simply contact Dr. Thomas Tuttle with all your personal information such as name, birth date, Mother’s maiden name, social security number, bank accounts and credit cards. After that, simply start studying for Fargo’s 2018 Smartest Kids Contest!

One tip: Answers to all the possible contest questions can be found in the Fargo Public Liberry.

New UND Mascot Needs A Name!

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You know my name. Say it! Say my name!

Grand Forks, UND – It’s time once again to put on your politically correct thinking caps to help name UND’s chosen mascot.

The winner of the mascot naming contest could possibly win a trip to Grand Forks (and the second place award would be two trips to Grand Forks).

You can leave your mascot name idea as a comment or email it to us at: fmobserver@gmail.com

Or, you can just vote for one of the following ten choices which have all been graciously pre-approved by the NCAA:

Choice X1: Flippy
Choice X2: Flip, The Bird
Choice X3: Fighting Sue
Choice Y1: Suzie
Choice Y2: Sioux-Z
Choice Y3: Beak
Choice Z1: Hawkeye 2.0
Choice Z2: ​T​he Bird
Choice Z3: P.C.
Choice Z4: Mascot

If voting for an NCAA pre-approved name, please use its official Choice Code (ie: X2) and also include a reason or nostalgic story why you think this should be the wiener. How will I know if I won? The UND mascot will land on your roof and fly you to Grand Forks for the swearing-in ceremony, after which you will be a guest in its nest.

Contest: Get Your Ass To Mars!

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News from the future – March 4th, 2066

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Mars Outpost, 2066

Fargo, ND—NASA’s Mars Rover, since its placement on the Red Planet decades ago, has been hard at work constructing the much-anticipated MARS OUTPOST interplanetary research and development facility.

The MARS OUTPOST, located smack dab in between a storm of red lightning and swirling alien dandruff space dust, has become the galaxy’s first spacetacular astrological science and research center. The Mars Rover built this monstrosity from the ground up using nuclear and solar-powered state-of-the-art engineering. Impressive!

little bud

Mars Rover

Anyway, NASA (in conjunction with select media outlets across the nation) is preparing to send one lucky duck straight to Mars in a shuttle captained by R&B legend and current owner of Mars, Bruno Mars. The winner shall receive a first-hand look at the gorgeous new OUTPOST facility!!

The FM Observer will be coordinating an entry contest with its readers. All you have to do to win is complete a small 100-word essay in our comments section below explaining why you should Get Your Ass To Mars. Our staff will compile the results and select one lucky space cadet to be sent on a one-way 34,000,000-mile trip to the Red Planet.

Upon landing on Mars, cadets will eventually be greeted by the Mars Rover where there will be a photo opportunity (no flash photography) along with a guided tour of MARS OUTPOST. After that, you will help Rover do ferocious interstellar battle with Martians.

Good luck!

Must be 18 or older to win. Anyone named Scot is barred from entry (don’t even bother trying, you smug one-t’d bastard). Bring your own space suit (Cohaagen refuses to give his people air). FM Observer and its entities herein are absolved of any transportation casualties after winner has boarded ship. Winner must pass rigorous physical conditioning test prior to departure. No smoking on board spacecraft; vaping OK. Gluten-free rationing available by request. Winner is responsible for his/her own safe return to Earth. Offer valid in continental US only—sorry, Texas.

Win A New Robot For The New Year

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Win me and I will win your heart.

West Fargo, ND – It is time once again for some lucky person or family to have a chance to Win-A-Robot.

This particular robot is programmed to do multiple tasks such as: lift your car, crack an egg, answer the doorbell, call 9-1-1, mix a drink, walk your dogs, and give long massages.

His name is Robert Paulson and his model number is RPX2015.

Robert likes witty conversation, walks along the beach, watching old movies, and meeting new friends.

Listen to some others who’ve Won-A-Robot:

Arden Haug said: “Instead of cleaning up after them, they clean up after you. I love my robot even though it’s quite OCD.”

Vivian Rude admits: “Things were kind of rough at first but then we started seeing eye to eye once we determined who was the boss.”

Lucy Mimster told us: “I can’t believe I was able to survive all those years without my robot, who now has become part of our family especially during the Holidays.”

So, sign up now to Win-A-Robot. Finalists will be researched, studied, and psycho-analyzed by Robert who will ultimately pick the winner of this year’s Win-A-Robot contest.

Do You Know Whose Mouth This Is?

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Guess whose mouth this is and win a treasure chest of prizes.

Successfully guess whose mouth this is for a chance to win a treasure chest of prizes.

FM Observer Headquarters – As you know, January is National Mouth Month.

So, back by popular demand, we are once again having our annual Guess Whose Mouth This Is contest.

The winner will win a treasure trove of prizes selected expecially for that person.

Last year’s winner was Tubby Chitlin from Backwater, Arkansas.

Tubby successfully guessed the mouth of Clint Eastwood.

Tubby is hopefully still enjoying his stockpile of prizes, which included: two graphite plungers, a Mr. Science Ant Farm, an autographed picture of Shania’s Twain, and two unused tickets to the 1987 Super Bowl!

All you have to do to be our next wiener is successfully guess to whom does the pictured mouth belong.

All correct entries will be thrown into a special hat and our next winner will be randomly selected by our staff monkey, Tarzan.