Double-doer?

Washington, DC – President Obama has vowed to find a qualified candidate to nominate for Supreme Court Justice. The speculation is that that candidate will be anti-anti-liberal. This does not sit well with the Republican-controlled Senate. They have stated that they will seek to block this nomination. That does not sit well with Obama. It sits so unwell, in fact, that Obama is ready to destroy the entire universe in order to get his way.

President Obama says he’s threatening to block the Senate’s block.

“The Senate says they will block my justice nomination. Well, if they do…ah… I’ll block that block. This is not good. Everyone knows that… ah…when you type ‘Google’ into Google, you can… ah… break the internet. Similar thing going on here. This type of action causes paradoxical duality….ah…which then catosphates a rift in the space time continuum resulting in… ah…the impenetrable quickening of antimatter. So, you see… ah… you should never double do something. But if I’m forced to…ah.. execute my constitutional right of appointment that which the Senate then blocks … ah… I’ll have to block that. So, folks…ah…start wearin’ your hard hats.”

Bictor Tedhanger

Many in the quantum physics community are calling this potential block-block a serious threat to the very fabric of space time.

University of Organical Physicology Professor Bictor Tedhanger fears the worst. “If the President follows through on this block-block, what he says is very much accurate: paradoxical duality followed by an impenetrable quickening. This would be incredibly damaging to our atoms. Your body and mine would spontaneously molt from the inside out in the time it takes to extract candy from a baby hand.”

It would seem that Obama will stop at nothing to nominate his coveted Justice. Will Biden be able to talk some sense into him? If our guts implode between now and the end of Obama’s term, then that answer is probably no.