The New Measure Of Health Is Pounds Per Vertical Foot
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The New Measure Of Health Is Pounds Per Vertical Foot

February 25th, 2020 | by Johnnny
Footville, Wisconsin – Experts have come up with a new and easy way to determine one’s general overall health. Pounds per vertical foot is the new way to measure and judge how near or far a person is from the ideal...
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Asked To Help Fight The Corona Virus
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Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Asked To Help Fight The Corona Virus

February 24th, 2020 | by Johnnny
Atlanta, GA – The Trump Administration is wisely asking the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles for assistance in fighting the Corona Virus War. President Trump is personally calling upon the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle Team to...
West Fargo Couple Dies In Car While Waiting For Traffic Light To Turn Green
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West Fargo Couple Dies In Car While Waiting For Traffic Light To Turn Green

February 18th, 2020 | by Johnnny
West Fargo, ND – In a stunningly slow turn of events, an older West Fargo couple died while waiting for a red light to turn green. Leth and Helt Ringgold had pulled up to a red traffic light which recently had been having...
Executive Directors Named For Fargo’s New Combo Church/Hospital
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Executive Directors Named For Fargo’s New Combo Church/Hospital

February 14th, 2020 | by Johnnny
Fargo, ND – The new Amen Church Hospital has named Peter and Paul Christianson as executive directors as the project moves forward toward final fruition. The Amen Church Hospital will be the first of its kind in the nation:...
Joaquin Phoenix’s “Cries Of Anguish” Wins The Oscar For Best Picture
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Joaquin Phoenix’s “Cries Of Anguish” Wins The Oscar For Best Picture

February 13th, 2020 | by Johnnny
Hollywood, CA – As expected, Joaquin Phoenix’s movie Cries Of Anguish won the Academy Award for Best Picture. Cries Of Anguish is a wonderful movie about cows being artificially inseminated. Then, the cow babies are...
Amy Klobuchar Wrestles Woman To Ground After Being Attacked
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Amy Klobuchar Wrestles Woman To Ground After Being Attacked

February 11th, 2020 | by Johnnny
Penacook, New Hampshire – Presidential candidate Amy Klobuchar successfully wrestled a Bernie Sanders supporter to the floor after being suddenly attacked while campaigning near New Hampshire’s capital city of...
Weekly Listing Of Divorces In Cass County
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Weekly Listing Of Divorces In Cass County

February 10th, 2020 | by Johnnny
Fargo, ND – It’s time once again to list the divorces going down in Cass County. All of the following couples are uncoupling. They have decided to part ways and go in different directions. After some matrimonial...
Fargo Police Add New Dog That Can Detect Weird Activity
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Fargo Police Add New Dog That Can Detect Weird Activity

February 7th, 2020 | by Johnnny
Fargo, ND – A new dog is being added to the K-9 team of the Fargo Police Department. Tweek is his name and detecting weirdness is his claim to fame. K–9 Tweek is trained to sniff out any and all types of weird...
After Iowa Caucus App Fails, Iowa Dems Using 1920’s Adding Machine To Try And Calculate The Victor
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After Iowa Caucus App Fails, Iowa Dems Using 1920’s Adding Machine To Try And Calculate The Victor

February 4th, 2020 | by Johnnny
Des Moines, Iowa – Once caucus leaders realized their new app apparently was unable to perform under pressure, an old adding machine was brought out of a dusty old closet. Seemingly in dire need of a basic adding machine,...
FMObserver Donates Valuable Work Of Art To Popular Soup Kitchen To Boost Morale
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FMObserver Donates Valuable Work Of Art To Popular Soup Kitchen To Boost Morale

February 1st, 2020 | by Johnnny
Fargo, ND – Your FM Observer has announced plans to donate a very valuable work of art to the Second Lutheran Church soup kitchen in a magnanimous effort to boost mid-winter morale. The soup kitchen, cleverly called...