News

Contest: Get Your Ass To Mars!
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Contest: Get Your Ass To Mars!

March 4th, 2016 | by Nick
News from the future – March 4th, 2066 Fargo, ND—NASA’s Mars Rover, since its placement on the Red Planet decades ago, has been hard at work constructing the much-anticipated MARS OUTPOST interplanetary research...
160-Year-Old Man Shares His Secrets To Longevity
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160-Year-Old Man Shares His Secrets To Longevity

March 3rd, 2016 | by Nick
News From The Future, March 3, 2116 Austin, TX – Sheppy Milton, the oldest human alive at 160, is terribly reluctant to grant interviews but when he heard that his father and esteemed time traveler Vern Milton made an...
Project Update for the FM Diversion
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Project Update for the FM Diversion

March 3rd, 2016 | by Jake
Fargo, ND – Ralph Malph, a local busboy, informed us at the FM Observer that a huge change is coming to the controversial FM Diversion. Ralph was working his usual tables and overheard a city official discussing top secret...
City Council Rejects Counter-Terrorism Proposal
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City Council Rejects Counter-Terrorism Proposal

February 24th, 2016 | by Nick
Fargo, ND – In the wake of the San Bernadino attack, Fargo city council members tossed around some rather extreme counter-terrorism tactics.  Among those ideas discussed: Tank patrol Erect a big Incredible Hulk statue...
Obama Threatens To Block Senate’s Block Of Supreme Court Justice Nominee
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Obama Threatens To Block Senate’s Block Of Supreme Court Justice Nominee

February 20th, 2016 | by Nick
Washington, DC – President Obama has vowed to find a qualified candidate to nominate for Supreme Court Justice. The speculation is that that candidate will be anti-anti-liberal. This does not sit well with the...
Harpist To Serenade Downtown Fargo Valentine’s Day Patrons
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Harpist To Serenade Downtown Fargo Valentine’s Day Patrons

February 12th, 2016 | by Nick
Fargo, ND—The Observer is proud to announce a special treat for downtown Fargo this Valentine’s Day! The enchanting melodies of the soon-to-be infamous Broadway Harpist will serenade street-side onlookers this weekend....
FM Observer Secures Naming Rights For Blue Post-it Notes
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FM Observer Secures Naming Rights For Blue Post-it Notes

February 3rd, 2016 | by Nick
Temecula, CA—A much-anticipated blockbuster deal has been finalized. After extensive negotiations, the FM Observer has inked a lucrative branding contract with popular sticky note manufacturer Post-It. For the next decade,...
Frack Lives Matter Movement Galvanizes In Western North Dakota
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Frack Lives Matter Movement Galvanizes In Western North Dakota

February 2nd, 2016 | by Nina Verbena
Williston, ND – With oil prices tumbling and jobs disappearing, western North Dakotans are channeling their frustration into a powerful, singular message: Frack Lives Matter. Spokesperson Ole Baryll says the once booming...
Fargo Man Performs Amateur Exorcism
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Fargo Man Performs Amateur Exorcism

January 28th, 2016 | by Nick
Fargo, ND – An area man, without the help of a brave Catholic priest, has completely freed his significant other from demonic possession. Blenn Fristle, 42, was able to purge the darkest beast from within his wife Pavia by...
Vin Diesel To Donate 4,000-Gallon Collection Of Distilled Tears To Flint, MI
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Vin Diesel To Donate 4,000-Gallon Collection Of Distilled Tears To Flint, MI

January 25th, 2016 | by Nick
Hollywood, CA – Contrary to what we all had thought, acclaimed movie badass and feared megaman Vin Diesel isn’t 100% ferocious.  No! Upon hearing of the Flint water crisis, he’s taken the call to donate to...