Local

Xcel Energy Announces Power Outage Compensation Plan
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Xcel Energy Announces Power Outage Compensation Plan

May 10th, 2016 | by Nick
Fargo, ND – Faulty equipment. The ritualistic conjuring of ancient evils. Fallen tree branches. Squirrels and other burrowing rodents. Global warming. What do these things have in common? Yes, they’re all signs of...
City of Fargo Debuts New Rabbit Bounty Program
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City of Fargo Debuts New Rabbit Bounty Program

May 10th, 2016 | by Jake
Here at FM Observer we like to take input from the “common folk” of the FM area. Their biggest complaint is that the rabbit population has been hare-balling out of control and let me tell you, people are furiously fed up. As...
FM Observer Secures Naming Rights To Hazeltine National Golf Course Outhouses
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FM Observer Secures Naming Rights To Hazeltine National Golf Course Outhouses

May 9th, 2016 | by Nick
Chaska, MN—Brands®. You can’t escape them. Nowadays, it matters where your Brand™ is and how your Brand© looks. The more places your Brand° can exist, the better. Almost every pro sport has caught on to this trend....
The Northern To Begin Drug Testing Female Dancers
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The Northern To Begin Drug Testing Female Dancers

April 25th, 2016 | by Nick
Fargo, ND – Fargo’s only gentlemen’s club is undergoing a drastic change in worker policy. Club Northern has vowed to begin drug testing female talent, but with a catch: To comply with this zany new policy,...
Area Mom Under Fire For Bizarre Home-Schooling Tactics
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Area Mom Under Fire For Bizarre Home-Schooling Tactics

April 7th, 2016 | by Nick
Fargo, ND – Area mother Davia Flexano, a home-schooler, is catching a lot of flack for teaching her son Whick a slanted view of world geography. Flexano, who chose to remain nameless, is having her son learn the states...
The FM Observer Is Shutting Down. For Good.
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The FM Observer Is Shutting Down. For Good.

April 1st, 2016 | by Nick
Fargo, ND—With a little over four years of incredibly touching amateur satire under its belt, Fargo-Moorhead’s only fake news agency is calling it quits. The FM Observer is shutting down permanently, as of this evening....
American Thunderball Federation Holding Open Tryouts In Fargo
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American Thunderball Federation Holding Open Tryouts In Fargo

March 28th, 2016 | by Nick
The following is a paid advertisement for the American Thunderball Federation™   IS D-LEAGUE SOFTBALL NOT MEAN ENOUGH FOR YOU? DID SAND VOLLEYBALL LEAGUE KICK YOU OUT FOR DOMINATING TOO HARD? DID YOU LOOK IN THE MIRROR...
Puppy Monkey Baby Placed On Endangered Species List
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Puppy Monkey Baby Placed On Endangered Species List

March 21st, 2016 | by Nick
  Another unfortunate living organism has found its way onto the World Wildlife Fund’s endangered species list. Canis Homo Chimpus, or Puppy Monkey Baby as it is more affectionately known, has been given a...
Contest: Get Your Ass To Mars!
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Contest: Get Your Ass To Mars!

March 4th, 2016 | by Nick
News from the future – March 4th, 2066 Fargo, ND—NASA’s Mars Rover, since its placement on the Red Planet decades ago, has been hard at work constructing the much-anticipated MARS OUTPOST interplanetary research...
160-Year-Old Man Shares His Secrets To Longevity
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160-Year-Old Man Shares His Secrets To Longevity

March 3rd, 2016 | by Nick
News From The Future, March 3, 2116 Austin, TX – Sheppy Milton, the oldest human alive at 160, is terribly reluctant to grant interviews but when he heard that his father and esteemed time traveler Vern Milton made an...