Celebrity

Canadian Movie Star Thonn Furbeglan To Host 2016 Maple Syrup Festival
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Canadian Movie Star Thonn Furbeglan To Host 2016 Maple Syrup Festival

January 20th, 2016 | by Nick
Edmonton, AB, Canada – The syrup world is abuzz this morning with the announcement that Canadian action film star Thonn Furbeglan will be donning the flannel stageside for this year’s Maple Syrup Cookoff Festival set...
Cenobites Denied Foreign Immigration Visa
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Cenobites Denied Foreign Immigration Visa

December 8th, 2015 | by Nick
Hell’s portal is closed…for now Hell—Due to increasing skepticism over foreign immigration, The Cenobites, aka Satan’s Minions, have been denied entry to America via Hell’s customs portal. Pinhead, the...
Woman Lists Infant Child On Ebay
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Woman Lists Infant Child On Ebay

August 27th, 2015 | by Nick
In another edition of You Can’t Make This Stuff Up (But We Did Anyway), an area mom has listed her infant son, Bemmen, as a bidding item on popular online auction site Ebay. “Kid was born in a hot air balloon,...
Haunted Corn Maze Hiring 20 Children Of The Corn
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Haunted Corn Maze Hiring 20 Children Of The Corn

August 25th, 2015 | by Nick
Moorhead, MN—Local terror attraction Haunted Corn Maze is in search of blonde-haired, pale-faced, ghoulish children for its upcoming Children Of The Corn exhibit. Area parents, take heed: if you think your prepubescent...
North Korea To Trademark New Time Zone
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North Korea To Trademark New Time Zone

August 10th, 2015 | by Nick
With news that North Korea is planning to extract itself from a time zone shared with Japan comes the apparent corporate branding of said time zone. In bold opposition to Greenwich Mean Time (GMT), North Korea will file an...
Woman Living In Hammock Above Fargo Park
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Woman Living In Hammock Above Fargo Park

July 10th, 2015 | by Johnnny
Fargo, ND – One of our best junior reporters (who recently attended FMO Summer Camp) somehow discovered a woman living up in a hammock in Fargo’s Lindenwood Park. Our on-the-scene reporter cleverly asked the lady why...
Zebra Muscles Invade Red River Zoo
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Zebra Muscles Invade Red River Zoo

July 9th, 2015 | by Nick
Fargo, ND—Red River Zoo officials have gleefully added zebra muscles to their fleet of exotic animal inventory. A big, buff zebra named “Junto” is the zoo’s newest member. He’s 6’3, 884lbs of...
Area Man 3-D Prints Lusty, Dead-Eyed Carpool Lane Passenger
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Area Man 3-D Prints Lusty, Dead-Eyed Carpool Lane Passenger

July 7th, 2015 | by Nick
Fargo, ND—The good ol’ high-occupancy vehicle (HOV) lane. It’s what all solo drivers long for during that treacherous afternoon commute. Do you ever wish you could drive freely down the wide-open carpool...
Fargo Shooting Park To Add Golf Driving Range
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Fargo Shooting Park To Add Golf Driving Range

June 16th, 2015 | by Nick
Fargo, ND—The Fargo Shooting Park has decided to jazz things up a bit with the implementation of a golf driving range. The shooting park is adding a golf ball dispenser, so bring your guns and your clubs along on your next...
Fargo Man Discovers iPod’s Song Shuffle Algorithm
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Fargo Man Discovers iPod’s Song Shuffle Algorithm

June 4th, 2015 | by Nick
Fargo, ND—iPod owners will be quick to tell you that they love using the device’s “shuffle” feature to play a random assortment of music. It liberates the user from the responsibility of having to pick which...