Tag Archives: aggravated assault

Famous French Chef Accused Of Assault During Fargo Master Class

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Jean-Claude Sorbonne charged with aggravated assault on helpless bread dough.

Fargo, ND – Charges have been filed against a famous French chef while he was teaching a cooking master class to some of the finest chefs in the Fargo-Moorhead area.

French chef Jean-Claude Sorbonne has been charged with cruel and unusual assault on some rising bread dough and is being held in the kitchen of the local jail until his day in court.

Jean-Claude Sorbonne claims he was merely pounding out the bread dough before letting it rise in order to achieve the perfect textural consistency kneaded for perfection.

Some of the many students in the cooking master class mentioned that Chef Sorbonne did seem to be pounding “the hell out of” the bread ad infinitum, to the point where they were feeling quite uncomfortable and wanting to leave.

travis beck ndsu bison fargo

New Police Video. NDSU linebacker Travis Beck Had Dirty Hands.

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travis beck ndsu bison fargoFargo, ND – North Dakota State University star linebacker Travis Beck has been all over the news lately.  He recently had his aggravated assault charge dropped but a new video has surfaced.

Police have obtained the security bathroom video which shows Travis Beck before the alleged assault incident.  The video depicts Travis Beck not washing his hands after going number two.

These new developments are astonishing because that means Travis Beck more then likely had poopy hands during the alleged assault/self defense incident.  The other individual had no idea poopy hands were being used against him.

Travis Beck has been taken into custody again and will be charged with using poopy hands in a self defense situation.  We will make sure to report these new police findings to all news stations and government agencies including the White House.  Travis Beck deserves punishment for this.

Hopefully he learns to wash his hands properly before the NDSU Bison take the field.  Nobody wants to play with poopy hand guy.