Tag Archives: discovery

Mars Rover Discovers Relatively Intelligent Life

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Lichen us on Facebook!

Mars, Milky Way – Even though scientists have now officially discovered life on Mars, they are admittedly a bit underwhelmed by the fact that it’s just some lichens.

However, top Mars lichenologist Dr. Charles Nim says: “We are lichen what we’re seeing with this Mars rover!”

Dr. Nim notes that it’s quite amazing that we’ve now found a mutualistic relationship of algae and fungi living and breathing on the Red Planet, but trying to communicate with it has so far been a challenge.

“These lichens are forming themselves into the shape of a human brain to supposedly better communicate with us,” the Nimster explains.

Using lichenometry, the orange lichen colony appears to be about 54 million years old but doesn’t look a day over 50 million years.

Going forward, Dr. Charles Nim shared this final thought: “We are lichen our chops to find our more about this life that we have discovered on Mars!”

As you might expect, all the letters in Charles Nim can re-arrange into: Mars Lichen!

Swimmable Lake Discovered On Mars!

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The discovery of a lake on Mars means there are probably fish there too!

Syrtis Major, Mars – Marsologists are excitedly reporting that a lake has been discovered on Planet Mars!

What was first observed with the Viking Orbiter has now been confirmed with the Mars Rover.

The unnamed lake is reportedly in the region that Martian topographers call the Syrtis Major Planum.

It seems that water flows into this lake from Mount Olympus which is in the Tharsis region and then eventually into the Kaiser Sea.

Top Italian Marsologist, Giovanni Schiaparelli, says: “Non siamo sicuri se il lago ha acqua normale o acqua forse pesante. Ma l’acqua รจ acqua, non importa quanto l’idrogeno ha.”

This translates into: “We are not sure if the lake has normal water (H2O) or perhaps heavy water (H3O). But hey, water is water, no matter how much hydrogen it has, eh?”

As to what he thinks the official name of the lake will be, Giovanni simply said: “I think maybe Justin TimberLake!?”

Funny Looking Man Finds Bar Of Gold In Red River

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Discovery could lead to Gold Frenzy.

Discovery could lead to Gold Frenzy.

Fargo, ND – A funny looking man named Sid Bingsted found a large bar of gold on the banks of the Red River near Fargo, ND.

Mister Bingsted believes that it could be worth a lot of money based upon its girth-size.

He reflected, “Yah, I tell ya what, I found it just sittin’ down there by the river, don’t-cha-know? We was both sittin’ down there half-covered in mud!”

Buzz Redling has been investigating this golden story. Buzz says authorities secretly fear a mass influx of people from Williston coming down to the Fargo-Moorhead area if this story ever gets out.

Buzz confides: “My wife thinks this bar of gold deal could really cause a serious Gold Frenzy, not unlike the one back in ’88. And I tend to agree with my wife on this one.”

Police don’t know what to think of it. Where did the gold bar come from? How could they ever figure out who it belonged to? What to do next?

In the meantime, lucky Mister Bingsted is trying to decide what to do with his solid gold bar.

Friends are telling him to cash it in and buy a nice new bike.

But Sid has other ideas: “Yah, I might just go and hide it in the mud down by the river like I did last time, while I maybe go and look for another one!”