National

Criss Angel To Lead US Army’s New MINDFREAK Infantry
0

Criss Angel To Lead US Army’s New MINDFREAK Infantry

December 28th, 2016 | by Nick
Washington, DC – In the desolate, run-down wastelands of the Middle-East, countries are at war. People are blowing stuff up over there at an alarming rate. Blowing things up and blowing each other up and putting our...
Shoe Tossing The Work Of Ancient Satanic Evil Says Area Man
0

Shoe Tossing The Work Of Ancient Satanic Evil Says Area Man

December 21st, 2016 | by Nick
Where there’s smoke, there’s fire, says one Fargo man. What he means is where there’s shoe tossing, there is an unabated malevolence permeating the souls of area teens. The presence of shoes dangling from power...
Area Man’s Unhealthy Obsession With Celebrity Revealed In Cryptic Letter
0

Area Man’s Unhealthy Obsession With Celebrity Revealed In Cryptic Letter

December 19th, 2016 | by Nick
Fargo, ND – The ever-observant FMO staff acquired an intriguing bit of loot during a recent dog walk. “What is it, boy? What do you got there? No, leave it, it’s trash.” However, it was clear that this was...
Holiday Lights In Lindenwood To Be Visible From Space
0

Holiday Lights In Lindenwood To Be Visible From Space

November 30th, 2016 | by Nick
Fargo, ND – The Fargo-Moorhead Sertoma Club is again providing a dazzling display of diodes and doodads. Holiday Lights In Lindenwood Park is open to the public and boy, is it impressive. So impressive, in fact, that if...
Denmark Charged With Tresspassing Onto Finlandian Space Nebula
0

Denmark Charged With Tresspassing Onto Finlandian Space Nebula

November 19th, 2016 | by Nick
This article originally published February 5th, 2066 Nebula 79.10250:91.01, Property Of Finland—The Interstellar Order Of Protection has charged the country of Denmark with unlawful trespass after one of...
Area Clowns Needed To Scare Off Pipeline Protesters
0

Area Clowns Needed To Scare Off Pipeline Protesters

October 27th, 2016 | by Nick
“Clean them clowns off our city streets ‘n get em out to the pipeline” Fargo, ND – Authorities think they’ve found a solution for all the unwelcome clowns we’ve noticed lately. Clowning around...
Tilda Swinton Adds Fargo Shapeshifting Charity Tour Stop
0

Tilda Swinton Adds Fargo Shapeshifting Charity Tour Stop

October 25th, 2016 | by Nick
Fargo: The Witching Hour is nigh upon you. Famed Hollywood actress Tilda Swinton, best known for her superior acting prowess, is spearheading Breast Cancer Awareness month by bringing one of her lesser-known talents on a...
Republican National Committee Considering Cormorant Mayor As Presidential Nominee
0

Republican National Committee Considering Cormorant Mayor As Presidential Nominee

October 10th, 2016 | by Nick
Washington, DC – After a very tumultuous couple weeks, the Republican National Committee is flailing. The Donald has finally boasted himself out of public favor (for the most part–but some still want to Make America...
Republican National Committee To Replace Donald Trump With Broomstick
0

Republican National Committee To Replace Donald Trump With Broomstick

October 9th, 2016 | by Nick
Washington, DC – At this hour, the Republican backpedal is spinning at over 6 million revolutions per second as the GOP scrambles to find a replacement for noted gropesmith Donald Trump.  Reince Preibus was forced to...
E Corp Chief Technology Officer Warns Of Possible Hack
0

E Corp Chief Technology Officer Warns Of Possible Hack

September 23rd, 2016 | by Nick
New York, NY – In a coded briefing released at 12:34:56 PM yesterday, Terry Colby, the Chief Technology Officer of banking conglomerate E Corp, warned of another potential hack aimed at their users’ personal data....