Tag Archives: bad

Peter Pan Claims He Was Abused By Michael Jackson, Until Tinker Bell Found Out!

Michael Jackson is looking more and more guilty until disproven innocent.

Neverland, CA – The real Peter Pan is now alleging that the late Michael Jackson sexually abused him in Neverland.

[FMO wonders: Was this the reason why Michael Jackson wrote “I’m Bad, I’m Bad, I’m really, really Bad!?”]

Michael Jackson is posthumously arguing that it never, never happened and all he wanted to do was just sleep with the forever-young Peter Pan.

Peter Pan’s attorneys are saying that Mr. Pan is willing to take a lie-detector test to prove that the truth is on their side (plus, it’s all on videotape).

Luckily for Peter Pan, Tinker Bell was there at the time, to protect him from Michael’s alleged lewd advances.

Once Tinker Bell caught wind of what was going on, she used her formidable Pixie Dust powers to thwart Michael’s possible pedophiliac activities post haste.

Fargo Woman Fired From Her Good Job For Having A Bad Hair Day

Do you think it’s OK to fire someone simply for having a bad hair day?

Fargo, ND – A woman showing up for work at Precision Geometrix Corporation in Fargo was fired on the spot for having an extremely bad hair day.

It is not known whether Ms. Baria Ridderhoff intentionally had her hair looking unusually crazy or if it was just a terribly fortuitous fluke.

From an outside observer’s standpoint (such as her boss), it was deemed to be “bad enough” to ask Baria to immediately pack up her personal belongings and head straight for the exit.

UPDATE: In an attempt to lawyer-up, Ms. Ridderhoff was seen headed to the hairport to allegedly go discuss her case with attorney Michael Avenatti in Newport Beach, California. As she boarded the haircraft, she gave the thumbs-up sign as her wild hair blew wildly in the wind.

Ironically, all of the letters in “Baria Ridderhoff” can somehow be blown around to spell: Fired For Bad Hair!

Terrible Song Lyrics of The Week – Ke$ha (Die Young) – 12/30/2012

Ke$ha_die_youngThe feature of this weeks ‘”Terrible Song Lyrics of The Week” is the one and only Ke$ha from her oh so terrible song ‘Die Young.’  Die Young is a single off her album Warrior.

Young hunks, taking shots
Stripping down to dirty socks
Music up, gettin’ hot
Kiss me, give me all you’ve got
It’s pretty obvious that you’ve got a crush (you know)
That magic in your pants, it’s making me blush (for sure)

These young hunks are taking shots and stripping down to their socks.  First of all, that’s illegal.  You can’t get nude in a bar dummy!  I’ve seen some wild drunks but I’ve never seen young hunks taking shots stripping down to dirty socks.  Second, you have nude hunks in their dirty socks and now they are dancing on the dance floor?  I’m confused.  That just wouldn’t fly.  Third, some people may have a crush on you but I sure don’t.  That magic in my pants that you speak of is that of a boner DYING.  So if that makes you blush, your priorities are pretty low.

In summary, you have naked hunks, nude down to their dirty socks, dancing around with boners.  Fannnntastic.

You can see the rest of the lyrics below.  Although, if nobody hears from you after reading them, I’ll assume you drowned yourself in gasoline and set yourself on fire.

“Die Young”

I hear your heart beat to the beat of the drums
Oh, what a shame that you came here with someone
So while you’re here in my arms
Let’s make the most of the night like we’re gonna die young

We’re gonna die young
We’re gonna die young

Let’s make the most of the night like we’re gonna die young

Let’s make the most of the night like we’re gonna die young

Young hearts, out our minds
Running ’til we outta time
Wild child’s lookin’ good
Living hard just like we should
Don’t care who’s watching when we tearing it up (You Know)
That magic that we got nobody can touch (For sure)

Looking for some trouble tonight (yeah)
Take my hand, I’ll show you the wild, side
Like it’s the last night of our lives (uh huh)
We’ll keep dancing ’til we die

I hear your heart beat to the beat of the drums
Oh, what a shame that you came here with someone
So while you’re here in my arms,
Let’s make the most of the night like we’re gonna die young

We’re gonna die young
We’re gonna die young

Let’s make the most of the night like we’re gonna die young

Let’s make the most of the night like we’re gonna die young

Young hunks, taking shots
Stripping down to dirty socks
Music up, gettin’ hot
Kiss me, give me all you’ve got
It’s pretty obvious that you’ve got a crush (you know)
That magic in your pants, it’s making me blush (for sure)

Looking for some trouble tonight (yeah)
Take my hand, I’ll show you the wild side
Like it’s the last night of our lives (uh huh)
We’ll keep dancing ’til we die

I hear your heart beat to the beat of the drums
Oh, what a shame that you came here with someone
So while you’re here in my arms,
Let’s make the most of the night like we’re gonna die young

I hear your heart beat to the beat of the drums
Oh, what a shame that you came here with someone
So while you’re here in my arms
Let’s make the most of the night like we’re gonna die young

We’re gonna die young
We’re gonna die young

Let’s make the most of the night like we’re gonna die young