Tag Archives: fired

Fargo Woman Fired From Her Good Job For Having A Bad Hair Day

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Do you think it’s OK to fire someone simply for having a bad hair day?

Fargo, ND – A woman showing up for work at Precision Geometrix Corporation in Fargo was fired on the spot for having an extremely bad hair day.

It is not known whether Ms. Baria Ridderhoff intentionally had her hair looking unusually crazy or if it was just a terribly fortuitous fluke.

From an outside observer’s standpoint (such as her boss), it was deemed to be “bad enough” to ask Baria to immediately pack up her personal belongings and head straight for the exit.

UPDATE: In an attempt to lawyer-up, Ms. Ridderhoff was seen headed to the hairport to allegedly go discuss her case with attorney Michael Avenatti in Newport Beach, California. As she boarded the haircraft, she gave the thumbs-up sign as her wild hair blew wildly in the wind.

Ironically, all of the letters in “Baria Ridderhoff” can somehow be blown around to spell: Fired For Bad Hair!

Controlled Burn That Got Out Of Control Now 50% Contained

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“Controlled Burn” that suddenly became an uncontrolled burn is now only about 50% contained.

Burnstad, ND – Highly trained governmental environmental workers trying to do a controlled burn helplessly watched it suddenly get out of control when winds began to gust up out of nowhere.

“Yeah, no, what began as our controlled burn, ah, quickly changed over to what we call an uncontrolled burn,” reports Luton Crofoot, who lit the original fire with a casual flick of his cigarette butt.

Luton added: “Maybe we should’ve paid better attention to thee, ah, windcast for the time period in which we planned to stage our, ah, controlled burn.”

Fire containment experts on the scene estimated that the out-of-control controlled burn is now approximately 50% contained.

However, they do admit that the 50% that is not contained is 100% out of control as environmental workers try to set additional back fires which are also getting out of control thanks to the wind.

Ironically, all of the charred letters in Luton Crofoot can be hotly re-arranged to spell: Out Of Control!

Rural Fargo Man Cornered By Moose For ‘A Really Really Long Time’

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…and so you’re telling me this is the reason why you were late for work today?!

Fargo, ND – A rural Fargo man was simply trying to bring the garbage out prior to heading off to work on a foggy Monday morning when he suddenly heard a very large noise.

In the early morning light, Bruno Maneek says he then saw something moving toward him from the dense brushy forest next to their lot.

It was the world’s largest moose who was trotting straight at him so Bruno instinctively began backing up towards the breezeway that connected the garage to their home.

Unfortunately, Bruno’s wife was out of town at the National Botox Conference so he was home alone at the time.

For the next two hours, this massively giant moose had Bruno Maneek cornered only feet away from where he had a loaded shotgun hanging in their breezeway.

Then, after a long and fruitless stand-off, the enormoose moose just disappeared.

“Did it quickly trot off into the forest?”, asked Bruno’s doubting boss who was wondering why his most unreliable worker was late again.

“No, it just vanished like a bubble that got popped by a pointy pin”, replied Bruno Maneek, mere moments before he got fired from his job.

Salesman Fired For Not Lying To Customers

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Jampy Borktartle

Jampy Borktartle

Fargo, ND—A guy who plays by his own rules has been 86’d from a local used car dealership, the Observer has learned. Gacky Rearwater, formerly a used car & junk salesman for Uncle Jampy’s Metal & Wheels Emporium on south 18th street, was let go by the company for refusing to tell outright lies to his customers.

Gacky feels he was misled in regards to sales tactics. “My boss Jampy Borktartle used to always tell me ‘Hey Gacky, hneyh hyneh! You gotta tell them bozos whatever they wanna hear, hnyeh hyenh!’ but that’s not how I was taught to do business,” Gacky explained. “You give ’em truth and honesty and that’s what you get back, jack.”

Jampy fired Gacky after too many customers left the Metal & Wheels Emporium without a purchase. Gacky just couldn’t bear the burden of lies. He couldn’t use honesty to sell Jampy’s dysfunctional collection of rust-buckets, tark-wheels and glomper-rods.