Recipes For Success

To Show Respect, They’re Leaving Barbara Bush On The One Dollar Bill

Washington, DC – Out of respect for former First Lady Barbara Bush, the Treasury Department has instructed the Federal Reserve to keep her picture on the one dollar bill, as it has been for decades. As sitting Treasury...

Full Disclosure: Sean Hannity And Michael Cohen Are Brothers From Another Mother

New York, NY – Thanks to porn star Stormy Daniels, we have now found out that Sean Hannity and Michael Cohen are brothers from another mother. According to DNA evidence, both men had the same father but each was from a...

Court Artist Accused Of Drawing-Under-The-Influence At Cohen/Daniels Court Hearing

New York, NY – The artist chosen to do sketches at the Stormy Daniels/Michael Cohen court hearing has been accused of DUI (Drawing Under The Influence). Just as many famous artists have successfully used drugs to embellish...

The New Rage Is Having A Purse Puppy

Pursglove, WV – Fashion trenders are strongly pointing to Purse Puppies as the latest in the super hip new thing for 2018. “If you want to be cutting-edge cool this year, you definitely need a Purse Puppy!” says...

CNN’s Anderson Pooper Gets South Park Award For Swearing 81 Times In One Hour

Cooper, TX – History was made last night when Anderson Pooper swore 81 times on an hour long prime-time show. After Anderson decided to say “shit-hole” once, the dam had been broken, and it and variations of it...

Jeff Sessions Voted Most Out-Of-Touch Person In America

Denver, CO – Attorney General Jeff Sessions has just been voted the Most Out-Of-Touch Person in the USA by the Common Sense Club. By his recent decision to rescind the James Cole Memo, AG Sessions is basically telling U.S....

President Expected To Swear More After Study Shows Profanity Is Sign Of Honesty

Washington, DC – President Trump, in an effort to quickly increase how honest he is perceived, will not only start swearing more in his public comments and tweets, but will also encourage his entire fucking Cabinet to all...

Top Ten Questions To Ask Family, In-Laws, and Relatives During Christmas

West Fargo, ND – During your family getogethers with in-laws, relatives, and other extended family members, it is not only a good time to share handshakes and hugs in order to pass your cold and flu germs on to others, but...

Winter Holiday Greetings From Your FM Observer

Southern North Pole – Since saying Merry Christmas is possibly offensive to some, we here at the FM Observer Headquarters want to wish all our faithful readers very warm Winter Holiday greetings, to hopefully help...

Cigar-Shaped Alien Spacecraft Actually A Large French Bread Heading For Fargo

Oumuamua, Hawaii – The FM Observer is proudly excited to exclusively report that we have just received confirmation from Mr. Hankey that the large meteor which is on a collision course with Fargo, North Dakota is actually...