Category Archives: Entertainment

Love Me Lil Wayne

Terrible Song Lyrics of The Week – Lil Wayne (Love Me) – 04/07/2013

Love Me Lil Wayne“Love Me” is a song by Lil Wayne, released on January 18, 2013 as the third single from his upcoming tenth studio album I Am Not a Human Being II (2013).

Lil Wayne has got that A1 credit at that Filet Mignon.  Basically this entire song is about banging bitches.  I lost count of how many times the word bitches and niggas were used.  Lets just say, A LOT.  Solid writing skills here.  I think this is the first time I read some lyrics and i’m like ‘Ewww’.’  No I’m not getting older.  The lyrics are just ewww.

It’s probably a good thing the song is autotune because, man, this song would suck so bad.  Singing these lyrics to any women are sure to get them to love you.

See for yourself.  I have posted these glorious, genius written lyrics below.  Don’t forgot to watch the video.  Probably one of the best music vidoes to ever have been made.

 

[Hook: Future]
I’m on that good kush and alcohol
I got some down bitches I can call
I don’t know what I would do without y’all
I’mma ball ’til the day I fall
Ball, ball, ball, ball

[Bridge:]
Long as my bitches (yeah, yeah…)
I could give a f-ck about no hater, long as my bitches love me
(Yeah, yeah…)
I could give a f-ck about no n-gga, long as my bitches love me

[Verse 1: Lil’ Wayne]
Pussy-ass n-ggas stop hatin’
Lil’ Tunechi got that fire
And these hoes love me like Satan…
F-ck with me and get bodied
And all she eat is dick
She on a strict diet
That’s my baby
With no makeup she a ten
And she the best with head
Even better than Corinne
She don’t want money
She want the time we could spend
She said “cause I really need somebody,
So tell me you’re that somebody”
And girl, I f-ck who I want
And f-ck who I don’t
Got that A1 credit
At that Filet Mignon
She say “I never wanna you make you mad,
I just wanna make you proud”
I say “baby, just make me cum,
Then don’t make a sound”
Tunechi…

[Hook: Future]
I’m on that good kush and alcohol
I got some down bitches I can call
I don’t know what I would do without y’all
I’mma ball ’til the day I fall
Ball, ball, ball, ball

[Bridge: Drake]
Long as my bitches (yeah, yeah…)
I could give a f-ck about no hater, long as my bitches love me
(Yeah, yeah…)
I could give a f-ck about no n-gga, long as my bitches love me

[Verse 2: Lil’ Wayne]
Real n-ggas, f-ck these haters
These hoes got pussies like craters
Can’t treat these hoes like ladies, man…
Pussy, money, weed, codeine
She say my dick feel like morphine
I hope my name tastes like sardines to these n-ggas
She wake up, eat his dick
Call that breakfast in bed, 69.96
I feel her heartbeat
I touched her chest with this bitch
Now turn around, face down, I’m arresting this bitch
Yeah, all my bitches love me
And I love all my bitches
But it’s like soon as I cum
I come to my senses
And I would say these hoes’ names
But then I would be snitchin’
And these haters try to knock me
But they can’t knock me off the hinges
Tunechi…

[Hook: Future]
I’m on that good kush and alcohol
I got some down bitches I can call
I don’t know what I would do without y’all
I’mma ball ’til the day I fall
Ball, ball, ball, ball

[Bridge: Drake]

[Bridge 2: Lil’ Wayne]
I lost a few good bitches
Met some more bad bitches
And I be schoolin’ them n-ggas
Pose for your class picture
And kiss my ass if you hatin’
I’m getting’ ass while I’m skatin’
I lost a few good bitches
Met some more bad bitches
And I be schoolin’ them n-ggas
Pose for your class picture
And kiss my ass if you hatin’
I’m getting’ ass while I’m skatin’
Bitch…

[Hook: Future]
I’m on that good kush and alcohol
I got some down bitches I can call
I don’t know what I would do without y’all
I’mma ball ’til the day I fall
Ball, ball, ball, ball

[Bridge: Drake]
Long as my bitches (yeah, yeah…)
I could give a f-ck about no hater, long as my bitches love me
(Yeah, yeah…)
I could give a f-ck about no n-gga, long as my bitches love me

 

Here is the video to this garbage song.

 

“Yea, as long as my bitches love me.”  Take that lyric with you wherever you may go.  It could probably get you through some tough times.

A Blast From The Past

Every blog or entertainment website has a blast from the past post so I figured the FM Observer deserved one.  Below are various pictures from the 80’s and 90’s to get your nostalgia on.  You can post only so many pictures before I crash your browser so stay tuned for a second post.

mcdonalds_pals crossfire view_master squish_ballwwf_wrestle_figures
doctor

baseball_cards blurp_balls bubble_tape candy_bracelets clearphone Contra Converse-Backjam-Mid-1994-Grandmama dino-pebbles dont_wake_daddy double_dare duke_nukem_3d dunkaroos frenchtoastcrunchOriginal-732821 garbage-pail-kids ghostbusters_cereal goosebumps_books heinz_ez_squirt He-ManShe-Ra3 homer_butterfinger jem jordan_pippen_rodman la_gear_light_up_sneakers madballs magic_middles mcdonalds_pals mcdonalds_toys my_first_car my_pet_monster nestle_quik nickelodeon_gack nintendo_entertainment_system nintendo_nes NintendoSystemCereal pogs popples post_oreo_cereal reebok_pump slap_bracelets smelly_stickers sprinkle_spangles super_soaker_50 talk_and_play the_reading_rainbow tmnt_90s trix_halloween_glow_in_the_dark_tattoos trolls uforce_nintendo wheres_waldo wolfenstein_3d x-men_tiger_handheld 3d_doritos 90s_shark_bites american_online Animaniacs_Logo

Barbara Walters Being Retired To A Stud Farm

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Baba Wawa Go Bye Bye

New York, NY – The beautiful and lovely Barbara Walters has been told she is retiring. ABC executives are leaking the news that she will be comfortably retired to a Stud Farm.

The iconic 83 year old grandmother to us all, has spent 50 years in television journalism and has seen it all. Everyone agrees there aren’t enough adjectives to describe this workaholic. But after suffering from chicken pox and prolonged fever, which possibly led to falling down a flight of stairs and getting a large gash in her forehead, many in the top floor of the ABC headquarters are strongly pushing for her to be gone already.

Is ABC forcing her out and off The View? Apparently she doesn’t really know much about it. However, forces behind the scene are indicating it is most definitely time for her to go to the Stud Farm. An ABC spokesman describes the Stud Farm as a very nice retirement home for aging TV celebrities.

Who might Baba WaWa see when she gets to the Stud Farm? Well, for starters, try megastar Regis Philbin (b. 1931). Also, the former Bozo-the-Clown and Today Show weatherman, Willard Scott (b. 1934). Of course, the always up Hugh Downs (b. 1921) will be there to welcome Barbara Walters (who was born in 1929) to her new home. One final for-sure would be the ever-handsome Tom Brokaw (b. 1940), who is still working with a special speech pathologist to pronounce his “L”s.

Most people think of horses when they hear Stud Farm. There will also be some of those there too. “Ms. Walters will have many people and animals to ‘interview’ after she makes the transition to her new life”, said Ernie Bankwood, who oversees the Stud Farm.

Back in late 2010, while interviewing the youthful Larry King, Barbara said “I know when my time’s coming”. Well, unfortunately for her, that time is now here, whether she knows it and likes it, or not.

When the FM Observer asked her what she thought about all this, she answered: “Oh, I hope that Fabio (Lanzoni) is at the Stud Farm!” Then she asked: “What’s the FM Observer?”

Wifi Network Name Ideas

Wi-Fi Network Name Ideas

Wifi Network Name Ideas

 

We’ve seen them.  We even named our own wifi network a funny name.  Below is a list of names thought up and found on the internet for funny network name ideas.  Use at your own risk.

 

IHaveToFart

GetOffMyLAN

IHearYouHaveSex

Your Baby Is Ugly

I’m In Your Closet

WhatCameOutMyBUTT

PrettyFlyForWifi

Secret Meth Lab

YourWifeFakesIt

Registered Sex Offender

IKidnappedYourSoul

GayOrgiesRoom105

UndercoverSurveillance

Terror Network

WhyDontYouTakeASeatRightHere

Immigration Task Force

Nacho Internet

This LAN Is Your LAN

Unlicensed Urban Pharmacists

Everyday I’m Buffering

Marijuana Task Force

Girls Gone Wireless

 

 

Interview With Max Cavalera of SOULFLY


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If you’re familiar at all with the underground metal community, you’ve heard of Max Cavalera. He’s been hard at work writing and performing his own brand of ferocious, unapologetic heavy metal for almost 30 years.

This month he takes his band SOULFLY on the road through North America. They will be accompanied by his stepson Richie Cavalera’s band INCITE and his sons Igor and Zyon Cavalera’s band LODY KONG. The “Maximum Cavalera Tour” makes its stop in Fargo on February 27th at the House of Rock. I caught up with Max to get his insight on the upcoming tour and his most recent SOULFLY album:

LISTEN TO THE INTERVIEW HERE: Max_Cavalera_Interview_2122013

Nick Hirchert: Thanks for taking some time to talk with me. You’ve got less than a week until you hit the road again…

Max Cavalera: We actually leave tomorrow. We start the tour tomorrow in San Diego. We’re very excited about the Maximum Cavalera Tour. The whole family on tour again. It’s gonna be great, man, we’ve got Zyon playing drums for SOULFLY which is gonna keep it more in the family. We’ve got a killer setlist prepared. A lot of great songs. It’s good to be back on the road again. I’m just excited to be back on the road. It’s been too long, if you ask me.

Nick: Fantastic. When was the last time you played a show?

Max: Two months ago I was in South America with CAVALERA CONSPIRACY with my brother Igor and before that, I was with SOULFLY in Europe. About five months ago we did a big European tour, so, it’s about time to get back on the road here. I gotta ask you, is it cold there? Like real cold?

Nick: (laughs) You don’t wanna know, man! 

Max: Oh, yeah, I wanna know! (laughs)

Nick: It snowed so bad a couple days ago that they had to shut the entire city down the following day. 

Max: Holy crap!

Nick: It was a disaster!

Max: Wow. So, I better get some warm clothes then, huh?

Nick: Yeah, bring a parka if you’ve got it, maybe some long underwear… (laughs)

Max: Whoa, yeah, I am packing right now, so…after this interview I gotta go pack! (laughs)

Nick: The Maximum Cavalera tour follows up the release of your newest album “Enslaved”. What can you tell us about the new record? Is this Soulfly as we’ve come to know it or are there new innovations to your band’s sound?

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Max: “Enslaved” was a big step forward for SOULFLY. It was a heavier record, a very extreme kind of record. Some of the stuff even sounds like death metal which is really cool. I’ve been listening to a lot of stuff like that, bands like I DECLARE WAR, MOLOTOV SOLUTION, ACACIA STRAIN, PSYCROPTIC. So I wanted to make a heavier record because i’ve been into a lot of this new heavy kind of stuff and, of course, my love for death metal goes way back to the SEPULTURA days, so it was really kind of cool to make a record like that. I think it surprised a lot of fans who didn’t expect it.

We’re gonna open the show with “Plata O Plomo” this time, which is totally different. It’s a song that Tony and I sing in Spanish and Portuguese. That’s gonna be really cool and different. I’m really looking forward to this tour. We’re gonna play songs from all the SOULFLY records, even some SEPULTURA stuff and NAILBOMB which is a project I did with a lot of people. I got to dig up some different SEPULTURA songs to play, like “Straighthate” which is the first song I worked on when I did the “Roots” record. My son, Zyon wanted to play “Straighthate” during the set, so I think it’s gonna be great, man. It’s gonna be fun having the whole family on stage with me.

Nick: You have three sons (stepson Richie: INCITE, sons Igor and Zyon: LODY KONG) touring with you in their respective bands for this round of dates. How would you best describe their style of music?

Max: INCITE is more like LAMB OF GOD which is really great. I love that kind of style. I love that energetic kind of metal. It’s also melodic with really cool guitars on it and Richie is a killer frontman. I think he does a really great job. LODY KONG is completely different from everything else. They’re kind of like FUDGE TUNNEL, like THE MELVINS or MASTODON. Punk-metal, kind of heavy. I am so proud that both bands are completely different from what I do. That’s what I think is cool about our family’s bands. LODY KONG and INCITE sound nothing like SOULFLY and we’re all together on the same tour. That is gonna make the whole package different.

Nick: I agree. I’m really looking forward to it. You’ve got a pretty decent mix here and you keep it all in the family, so that’s excellent. “Enslaved” contains a song titled ‘Revengeance’  that credits contributions from you, Richie, Igor and Zyon. How did that song come about?

Max: There was an idea to do a family song. We decided to write about their brother Dana who was murdered in 1996. It has really deep, heartful lyrics. Each one of us wrote our own verses for the song and we’re all singing the chorus together. It was a very special day in the studio and the song turned out really killer. I love the energy of it, and it’s one of my favorite parts of the SOULFLY show when we all come together and do ‘Revengeance’ because it’s the end of the set. I see a lot of people taking pictures when I do that song. It’s great. We play that every night. I’m looking forward to the tour. I can’t stay home that much. If I stay home for more than 2 weeks I go crazy! I feel at home when i’m on the road, man, the road is my home. I love it. I’ve been on the road for 30 years now doing this shit. You get used to it, become addicted. I still love touring. Going from city to city, meeting the fans, playing the show, watching out the window of the tour bus. All that is part of the great experience of being on the road.

Nick: In the past, you’ve collaborated in-studio with some of the biggest names in rock. Did anyone lend their talents to the new album?

Max: Yeah, with SOULFLY, every record has at least 2 people from bands that I like. On the new record we had Travis from CATTLE DECAPITATION on “World Scum” which is a heavy, heavy song and there was a song with Dez (Fafara) from DEVILDRIVER. I know Dez from back in his COAL CHAMBER days. They used to tour with SEPULTURA. Dez is a great guy. We did “Redemption of Man By God” which is a religious kind of song. The next record that i’m working on in the studio later this year i’m recording with Terry Date, who is a great producer who did work with SOUNDGARDEN, WHITE ZOMBIE, PANTERA. I’m so excited to actually work on a whole record with him. That’s gonna come out next year and have 2 other guests. I don’t know who they are yet. It’s a blessing to be able to do these collaborations.

Nick: That’s very unique, to be able to share your talents in studio.

Max: I’m not competing with anybody. To me, it’s more about sharing the love of your music with your friends. That’s what’s great about being a musician. We are all a part of something. Metal unites everybody, from here to Singapore, to Japan, to Indonesia. Metal is metal. When you see someone with a black shirt and camouflage pants in the airport, you know this guy is metal so you can say ‘what’s up’, you know? That’s what’s great about it and what I love about collaborations. I get to work with my favorite people. Bands like CATTLE DECAPITATION–that’s not a huge band, but I love their music. They don’t need to be as big as METALLICA to work with me.

Nick: You recently made an appearance on the video game Grand Theft Auto IV by way of some downloadable content; DJ-ing for the “Blood Fire War Hate Death Metal Show” featured on one of the in-game radio stations. What was that like?

Max: It was great. I got to be a DJ on a radio station so I got to play a lot of my old favorite death metal songs I grew up with in the 80s and 90s. I play a lot of ENTOMBED, MORBID ANGEL, CARCASS, NAPALM DEATH, KREATOR. A lot of stuff that young kids today don’t know about. Without those bands, there wouldn’t be newer stuff like SUICIDE SILENCE and LAMB OF GOD–they all came from these kind of bands. I don’t really play video games much myself, but it was fun to be part of it, to be invited to do that.

Nick: With Soulfly, you put forth a very unique sound with Brazilian influence, what one could call tribal metal. Songs about war and fighting oppression. What would you say inspires your songwriting?

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Max: Through the years it started with SEPULTURA, the album “Arise” (1990) was the first time we kind of did that. There’s a jungle intro on “Arise” for the song “Altered State”. After that, we got more interested in Brazilian, started listening to more of our native sounds. We thought it’d be cool to mix metal with tribal rhythm. Not a lot of people were doing that back then so it was kind of unique. We were pioneers of it, and it felt cool to do it. “Roots” (1996) was big. We did that in a big way. We recorded with a tribe in Brazil, did an amazing collaboration with a real tribe in Brazil. It was so awesome. When I did “Soulfly I” (self-titled album, 1998) I continued the Brazilian element. I was working with the guys from CHICO SCIENCE on that record. I really like the style that came out on “Soulfly I” and it continued, but through the years I didn’t want to repeat myself. I kept looking for different things. That’s why I did albums like “Prophecy” and “Dark Ages” that were more thrash, heavier. Then “Enslaved” which is more death metal just because I always wanted to keep doing something different.

Nick: I understand you’re putting together an autobiography? Can you give us an update on that?

Max: Yeah, i’ve been working on it the last 2 years, man. It’s been great, been a lot of work. Nonstop interviews. It’s going to be very, very detailed. Stories from childhood, the creation of SEPULTURA, then the creation of SOULFLY to everything i’ve been through. There’s some funny stuff, like Lemmy (Kilmister) pouring whiskey on my head. I call that my “baptism”. I said I was baptized by Lemmy when he did that. Of course, he was doing that to get rid of me (laughs). There’s a lot of fun stuff like that. Interviews with a lot of cool people in bands. Tom Araya, Chino from DEFTONES, Sean Lennon, Sharon Osborne. The introduction of the book is gonna be done by Dave Grohl. He loves “Roots” as one of his favorite records ever. It’s gonna come out before the end of the year. I can’t wait for people to read it. It explains a lot of facts people don’t know about me, like why I really left SEPULTURA. The real reason behind it.

Nick: You’ve been writing and performing heavy metal music pretty consistently since the mid 80s. What advice would you give to any musicians eager to follow in your footsteps?

Max: I think first thing, you’ve got to love what you do because it’s a hard road. I still, even today…we’re not millionaires. Nobody makes millions of dollars. We do this because we love it. We struggle like a lot of people do, you know. We have garage sales and shit like that at my house to try to make ends meet, man, especially now that people don’t buy CDs. It became harder and harder in music, but you survive just getting by. It’s the love of music. It’s your joy. For me, when I grab my guitar and write riffs, it’s a great feeling. I get satisfied just doing that and when I know that thousands of people are gonna hear that on record that gets me excited to do more and to keep doing it. I’ve been doing this for 30 years. It’s been amazing. I wouldn’t change my life for anything. I’ve been blessed to be in a famous band, SEPULTURA, then got out of there and got to be successful with the 2nd band. Not many people have had that chance. Most people just get one shot, but I had a 2nd shot with SOULFLY and took it and made it through. It’s a lot of hard work, man. You’ve got to be committed. Got to be ready to do everything; ready to do what the other person will not. That’s what makes the difference between making it or not; you’ve got to be ready to do the things the other person will not do.

The Maximum Cavalera Tour hits the House of Rock at the Hub in Fargo on 2/27. BUY TICKETS HERE

Stay in touch with Max and his band SOULFLY:

Official site: www.soulfly.com

On Twitter: 

Facebook fan page: facebook.com/SOULFLY

ASAP Fucking Problems

Terrible Song Lyrics of The Week – ASAP Rocky (Fuckin’ Problems) – 02/10/2013

ASAP Fucking ProblemsTake a deep breath.  You are about to be blown away by a fucking all-star cast of singers on this one.

This weeks Terrible Song Lyrics of The Week are from an ‘artist’ named ASAP Rockey from his single Fuckin’ Problems.  He’s got a whole lot of problems.  Problems of fucking sucking.  This single features the all-star cast of ASAP Rockey, 2 Chainz, Drake & Kendrick Lamar.  What a crew.  Crew full of sucking.

The song starts off with the word ‘fucking’ being used 7 times out of 9 lines of so called lyrics.

I love bad bitches, that’s my fucking problem
And yeah I like to fuck, I got a fucking problem
I love bad bitches, that’s my fucking problem
And yeah I like to fuck I got a fucking problem
I love bad bitches, that’s my fucking problem
And yeah I like to fuck, I got a fucking problem
If finding somebody real is your fucking problem
Bring your girls to the crib maybe we can solve it

Solid lyric writing skills there I must say.  Here is the rest.  This great song goes on to say:

[Verse 1: A$AP Rocky]
Hold up, bitches simmer down
Taking hella long, bitch give it to me now
Make that thing pop like a semi or a nine
Ooh baby like it raw with the shimmy shimmy ya, huh
A$AP get like me
Never met a motherfucker fresh like me
All these motherfuckers wanna dress like me
Put the chrome to your dome, make you sweat like Keith

Cause I’m the nigga, the nigga nigga, like how you figure?
Getting figures and fuckin’ bitches, she rolling Swishers
Brought her bitches, I brought my niggas, they getting bent up off the liquor
She love my licorice, I let her lick it
They say money make a nigga act nigger-ish
But least a nigga nigga rich
I be fucking broads like I be fucking bored
Turn a dyke bitch out, have her fucking boys, beast

“All these motherfuckers wanna dress like me.”  No we don’t.  Seems his lyric writing skills consists of only two things.  Using the word ‘nigga’ as much as possible and talking about fucking women.

Next up is Drake.  Fucking all-star here.

[Verse 2: Drake]
Ooh, I know you love it when this beat is on
Make you think about all of the niggas you’ve been leadin’ on
Make me think about all of the rappers I’ve been feedin’ on
Got a feelin’ that’s the same dudes that we speakin’ on, oh word?
Ain’t heard my album? Who you sleepin’ on?
You should print the lyrics out and have a fuckin’ read-along
Ain’t a fuckin’ sing-along ‘less you brought the weed along
Then ju.. (Okay, I got it)
Then just drop down and get yo’ eagle on
Or we can stare up at the stars and put the Beatles on
All that shit you talkin’ ’bout is not up for discussion
I will pay to make it bigger, I don’t pay for no reduction
If it’s comin’ from a nigga I don’t know, then I don’t trust it
If you comin’ for my head, then motherfucker get to bustin’
Yes Lord, I don’t really say this often
But this long dick nigga ain’t for the long talkin’, I beast

*sigh*  He does save his best writing ability for the end that even John Lennon/Paul McCartney would be proud of.  That is the, “But this long dick nigga ain’t for the long talkin’, I beast” line.

Finally, Kendrick Lamar is up.  Fucking all-star.

[Verse 3: Kendrick Lamar]

Yeah ho, this the finale
My pep talk turn into a pep rally
Say she from the hood but she live inside in the valley now
Vaca’d in Atlanta, then she goin’ back to Cali, mmm
Got your girl on my line, world on my line
The irony, I fuck em at the same damn time
She eyeing me like a nigga don’t exist
Girl, I know you want this di–
Girl, I’m Kendrick Lamar
AKA Benz is to me just a car
That mean your friends-es need be up to par
See my standards are pampered by threesomes tomorrow, mmm
Kill em all dead bodies in the hallway
Don’t get involved, listen what the crystal ball say
Halle Berry, hallelujah
Holla back I’ll do ya, beast

“I can’t write worth a shit and have absolutely zero creativity so I talk about fucking women all the time.” – Kendrick Lamar

If you actually want to watch this shitfest then have at it.

So there you have it.  I think the words speak for themselves.  I’ll simply leave it at this.  Below is one chorus…ONE…from Tupacs song All Eyez On Me.  It blows every lyric ever written by ASAP Rockey, 2 Chainz, Drake & Kendrick Lamar combined together for the rest of their life OUT OF THE WATER.  That tells you something.

I bet you got it twisted you don’t know who to trust
So many playa hating niggaz tryin to sound like us
Say they ready for the funk, but I don’t think they knowin
Straight to the depths of hell is where those cowards goin
Well are you still down nigga? Holla when you see me
And let these devils be sorry for the day they finally freed me
I got a caravan of niggaz every time we ride (every time we ride)
Hittin motherfuckers up when we pass by (when we pass by)
Until I die; live the life of a boss playa
Cause even when I’m high, fuck with me and get crossed later
The futures in my eyes, cause all I want is cash and thangs
A five-double-oh – Benz flauntin flashy rings, uhh
Bitches pursue me like a dream
Been know to disappear before your eyes just like a dope fiend
It seems – my main thang was to be major paid
The game sharper than a motherfuckin razor blade
Say money bring bitches, bitches bring lies
One nigga’s gettin jealous, and motherfuckers died
Depend on me like the first and fifteenth
They might hold me for a second, but these punks won’t get me
We got foe niggaz, and lowriders, in ski masks
screamin Thug Life every time they pass {All Eyez On Me}

 

 

 

Gay Love Donkeys To Be Married

Gay Love Donkeys

Gay Love Donkeys

Fargo, ND – A couple of gay Love Donkeys will soon “tie the knot” at the local zoo. It’s believed to be the first known pair of gay Love Donkeys in captivity to be married within the confines of a zoo-type environment.

Rev. Matt Tramoni, the zoo pastor, says he believes we’ll be seeing more and more of this type of thing. “Now that gay marriage amongst zoo animals has been legalized under a new federal law, I believe this could be just the tip of the iceberg”, says Pastor Matt.

The zoo trainer admits that the donkeys, Carlton and Cortez, have been life-mates ever since they moved to this zoo. “Even though they couldn’t make it official up until now”, explains Julie Whitebear, “these two have been a paragon of matrimony in all facets of their beautiful donkeyed relationship.”

Apparently, they’re planning on having a private ceremony in the zoo chapel. However, a public reception is being planned for the Spring. Carlton and Cortez are registered at all the top shops. They particularly like sweet snacks and colorful clothing.

Taylor Swift I Knew You Were Trouble Terrible Song Lyrics

Terrible Song Lyrics of The Week – Taylor Swift (I Knew You Were Trouble) – 01/13/2013

Taylor Swift I Knew You Were Trouble Terrible Song LyricsThis weeks terrible song lyrics of the week are from Taylor Swifts song I Knew You Were Trouble.  It is from her fourth studio album, Red (2012). It was released on October 9, 2012, in the United States by Big Machine Records as the third promotional single from the album.

Which part of the lyrics are terrible you ask?  ALL OF THEM and here is why.

After going through her lyrics I was wondering if I should call the police or not.  After reading the first part of her lyrics..

Once upon time
A few mistakes ago
I was in your sights
You got me alone
You found me
You found me
You found me

I thought “OH NO!  Taylor Swift has been raped before!  Or kidnapped!  I don’t know which one but it sure sounds like the beginning of a raping or kidnapping!”

Then..

I guess you didn’t care
And I guess I liked that
And when I fell hard
You took a step back
Without me, without me, without me

Sounds like he then hits her.  To pull off a successful kidnap or rape you need to hit something and apparently it was Taylor Swift and she liked it.

And he’s long gone
When he’s next to me
And I realize the blame is on me

She says he is long gone now so now I’m suspecting a rape at this point because to kidnap you need to bring the kidnapee with you.  I’m still confused but then..

Cause I knew you were trouble when you walked in
So shame on me now
Flew me to places i’d never been
So you put me down oh
I knew you were trouble when you walked in
So shame on me now
Flew me to places i’d never been
Now i’m lying on the cold hard ground
Oh, oh, trouble, trouble, trouble
Oh, oh, trouble, trouble, trouble

FUCK!  Ok now I’m suspecting a kidnapping again because now he is flying her to places she has never been.  Solid kidnap move.

No apologies
He’ll never see you cry
Pretend he doesn’t know
That he’s the reason why
You’re drowning, you’re drowning, you’re drowning

Just completely lost at this point.  The rest of the lyrics go on.

And I heard you moved on
From whispers on the street
A new notch in your belt
Is all I’ll ever be
And now I see, now I see, now I see
He was long gone
When he met me
And I realize the joke is on me

I knew you were trouble when you walked in
So shame on me now
Flew me to places i’d never been
So you put me down oh
I knew you were trouble when you walked in
So shame on me now
Flew me to places i’d never been
Now i’m lying on the cold hard ground
Oh, oh, trouble, trouble, trouble
Oh, oh, trouble, trouble, trouble

When your sadest fear comes creeping in
That you never loved me or her or anyone or anything
Yeah

I knew you were trouble when you walked in
So shame on me now
Flew me to places i’d never been
So you put me down oh
I knew you were trouble when you walked in
So shame on me now
Flew me to places i’d never been
Now i’m lying on the cold hard ground
Oh, oh, trouble, trouble, trouble
Oh, oh, trouble, trouble, trouble

I knew you were trouble when you walked in
Trouble, trouble, trouble
I knew you were trouble when you walked in
Trouble, trouble, trouble!

My conclusion is that this is a raping/kidnapping/but not really…kind of thing.  If Taylor Swift wouldn’t be such a drama queen she would have just gotten to the point at the beginning of the song and not fucked around.

So this leaves everyone around the world wondering, IS THIS A RAPING OR A KIDNAPPING TAYLOR SWIFT?!?!?!? WHICH IS IT?!?