Tag Archives: beer

Some Useful Phrases When Travelling To Norway

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When in Norway, have fun speaking some Norwegian!

Oslo, Norway – It seems like everyone is travelling to Norway these days.

Perhaps this is the reason why the FM Observer has been repeatedly asked to provide a quick tutorial on speaking Norwegian, which is the language of the people that live there!

Since we never disappoint, here are fifteen (15) key phrases we strongly suggest that you memorize prior to landing in Oslo (it really helps to make flashcards before boarding your flight):

Where is the beer? = der er øl?
My mother will fight your father = min mor vil kjempe din far
What time is it on the moon? = hva er klokka på månen?
I would like to apply for an easy job = Jeg ønsker å søke om en enkel jobb
What colors can I wear here? = hvilke farger kan jeg bruke her?
I like when you rub my back = Jeg liker når du gni ryggen min
Could you bring me to your leader? = kan du gi meg din leder?
Back home, people treat me like a king = hjem, folk behandler meg som en konge
Could you please not stand so close to me? = Kan du ikke stå så nær meg?
I have a good recipe for making biscuits = Jeg har en god oppskrift for å lage kjeks
Why is your family so short? = hvorfor er din familie så kort?
My daughter wants to meet your son = min datter ønsker å møte din sønn
Can you buy me a car for my birthday? = kan du kjøpe meg en bil til bursdagen min?
I need to find some mayonnaise very quickly = Jeg trenger å finne noen majones svært raskt
Do you have a telescope in your bedroom? = har du et teleskop på soverommet?

Ask For Your ‘Free Beer’ During Free Beer Week!

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Since it's free, you might as well ask for it.

Since it’s free, you might as well ask for it.

Fargo, ND – All across the region, it is once again Free Beer Week!

This will be the Second Annual Free Beer Week since last year’s kickoff was so well received.

If you find yourself at one of the many participating bars or restaurants in the area, simply ask for your Free Beer during Free Beer Week!

Various ways of asking for your Free Beer:

“Yeah, I think I’ll take my Free Beer now. Thanks!”

“Since it’s Free Beer Week, I might as well participate.”

“Got any of those Free Beers left, partner?”

What some people are saying about Free Beer Week:

Sven Carlos verbalized: “I love Free Beer Week! More things should be free, like movie theater tickets.”

Saradoc Tunnelly retorted: “Someone once bought me a free lunch but there were strings attached.”

Eglantine Labingi declared: “Could we have Free Beer Week like maybe once a month?”

Olafia Zaragamba exclaimed: “Whoever thought of Free Beer Week should get an award.”

Baldur Hornblower uttered: “If you don’t want your free beer, could I perhaps have it?”

Bison Turf To Rise Again From The Ashes, Bigger And Better Than Ever!

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Bison Turf will respond Bison Tough!

Bison Turf will respond Bison Tough!

Fargo, ND – As the current chapter of the Bison Turf Bar changed from mass to energy (divided by the speed of light squared), the next chapter of its future was already beginning to rise from the ashes.

As perdition’s flames burned, positive universal karma was already flowing toward The Bison Turf from the moons of Nibia and from around the Antares Maelstrom.

The new Bison Turf Megaplex will not only be fireproof, but will be one of the most kick-ass, state-of-the-art places to hava bier in America.

There will be six floors to commemorate the six back-to-back national championships by the Bison Football team (the previous five championships plus the next one).

First Floor: The Bison Tough Lounge, which will be amazingly similar to the old Bison Turf Bar lounge, to honor past traditions.
Second Floor: The Champ Camp will be similar to the new Bison Tough Lounge but way cooler.
Third Floor: Instant Replay will be very high-tech with countless flat-screen TVs all showing Bison highlights from yesteryears.
Fourth Floor: Finish Strong to acknowledge that it takes four strong quarters to win a game.
Fifth Floor: The Floor Of Fame will surround patrons with a plethora of pictures and collectibles from all stand-out Bison athletes from all sports.
Sixth Floor: The Joy Of Six Rooftop Penthouse will be from where Bison fans can begin to cheer on the Bison Football team’s upcoming and astounding sixth consecutive national championship.

Large Quantities Of Hydrogen And Oxygen Found In Fargo’s Water Supply

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Fargo concerned about Hydrogen and Oxygen found in city water.

Fargo is quite concerned about Hydrogen and Oxygen found in city water.

Fargo, ND – Some newly-available digital testing instruments have shown that Fargo’s water supply contains unusually large amounts of Hydrogen and Oxygen.

Delroy Chitlins is the acting manager of Fargo’s Water Treatment Facility (while Marv Trotman is on an extended unpaid leave of absence):

“Yeah, me and my assistants, we each concurd that we gots lots of Oxygen, and then I’d say, oh, about twice that amount of Hydrogen here in the water, at the plant here, so yeah, that’s pretty much the situation then, for right now,” reports Chitlins.

Until Delroy and his small staff can look into the situation further, Fargo residents are being asked to voluntarily cut back on the amount of water they drink and instead switch to beer.

Chitlins: “Yeah, we’ll letcha know when the coast is clear here, but until that time, just keep on having a few cold ones until we can figure out what the heck is going on here.”

Volunteers Needed As Fargo Seeks To Break Beer Drinking Record

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Volunteer to drink some beer!

Fargo, ND – Worthy volunteers are being sought as Fargo gears up to break the world record for the most amount of binge beer drinking performed during a 48-hour weekend.

The record Fargo seeks to break is “average per capita beer drunk by a group of 250 beer drinkers during 48 hours from 6PM on Friday to 6PM on Sunday”.

Madison, Wisconsin currently holds this world record. Last year, their group of 250 beer drinkers each drank an average of 49 pints of beer.

If you think you have what it takes to help Fargo break the record, and would like to volunteer to be a member of this elite recording-breaking drinking group, please sign up at any of the downtown Fargo bars.

Binge Drinking OKed In Fargodome Suites During Football Games

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Raise your beer pitcher and let’s toast to binge drinking in all suite seats!

Fargo, ND – The Good News: The decision has been made to finally allow binge drinking during Bison football games.

The Bad News: Binge drinking will only be allowed in suites. So, if you’re not in a suite, all your drinking will have to be drunk during the tailing gating party in the parking lot prior to entering the Fargodome.

The Other Good News: The entire Fargodome has now been zoned as one giant “suite”, so no matter where you are, binge drinking will not only be allowed, but encouraged.

Heineken Home Deliveries Being Well Received

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Heineken Home Deliveries

Heineken Home Deliveries

West Fargo, ND – Some towns still have home delivery services of milk from the milkman.

Other home deliveries might include hot pizza and junk mail.

One of the best days in our neighborhood is when the Heineken Man makes his rounds.

Community organizer Thiv Simpskins says: “It’s always nice to have a small stockpile of biers at home during the long, cold winters.”

But if you happen to be running a bit low, it is so convenient to have a case or three of Heineken delivered directly to your front door from The Netherlands.

If interested, sign up at any place where adult beverages are sold.

Simply tell the store clerk that you are “Ready for Freddy“!

nascar fan

How To Become A NASCAR Fan In 3 Days.

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nascar fan

Below I am going to give you some tips on how to become a NASCAR fan in only three days.  If you follow them to a T you are well on your way to becoming one the greatest NASCAR fans of all-time.

 

1. Go here.  Put your mouse over the scroller to the right and hold your mouse button down so you can scroll up and down.  Close your eyes.  Scroll up and down more than five times and then point and hold your finger on the screen.  Open your eyes.  Bingo!  You just picked your driver to root for.

2.  Buy all his memorabilia.  Little model cars, stickers, hats, t-shirts.  Try and wear them everyday.  Put a bunch of stickers of the driver all over your car.  Your goal here is to convince everyone that you are a hardcore fan and have been for quite sometime.

3. Visit Walmart and get some overalls and some flannel shirts.  Wear them as much as possible.

4. Spend your entire paycheck on a nascar ticket as well as a plane ticket.

5.  Switch your choice of beer to Miller Lite or any domestic beer for the matter.  Or, if your driver is sponsored by a beer company, you better damn well drink that beer and that beer only.

6.  Set all radio stations to country music.

7.  Sell your soul.

There you go.  You should be able to follow the easy tips above to become a true NASCAR fan in only three days.