Recipes For Success

President Trump Puts Pink Floyd In Charge Of Building The Wall
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President Trump Puts Pink Floyd In Charge Of Building The Wall

November 9th, 2016 | by Johnnny
Wall, Texas – Wasting no time after his landslide victory, President Trump announced that he is putting Pink Floyd in charge of building The Wall. President Trump: “Pink Floyd is going to be in charge of The Wall...
During Another Moment Of Confusion, Hillary Says She’s Voting For Trump
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During Another Moment Of Confusion, Hillary Says She’s Voting For Trump

October 11th, 2016 | by Johnnny
Clintonia, USA – While ostensibly suffering from another moment of dazed confusion, Hillary’s Clinton announced she is voting for Donald Trump for president. After her army of aides and handlers tried to negate her...
Republican National Committee To Replace Donald Trump With Broomstick
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Republican National Committee To Replace Donald Trump With Broomstick

October 9th, 2016 | by Nick
Washington, DC – At this hour, the Republican backpedal is spinning at over 6 million revolutions per second as the GOP scrambles to find a replacement for noted gropesmith Donald Trump.  Reince Preibus was forced to...
Obama First Family To Book A Room At Trump’s Turnberry Golf Resort
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Obama First Family To Book A Room At Trump’s Turnberry Golf Resort

June 27th, 2016 | by Johnnny
Ayrshire, Scotland – Brockobama, along with his first wife and first daughters, are The First Family to book a room at the newly refurbished Trump Turnberry golf resort, possibly the site of the British Open in the year...
Senate To Debate If ‘Biweekly’ Means Twice Per Week Or Once Every Two Weeks
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Senate To Debate If ‘Biweekly’ Means Twice Per Week Or Once Every Two Weeks

April 26th, 2016 | by Johnnny
Washington, DC – Next week, the United States Senate is set to debate what is the precise definition of the ambiguous term “biweekly“. Some senators strongly believe that biweekly means twice a week, as in:...
Donald Trump To House Speaker Boehner: ‘You’re Fired!’
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Donald Trump To House Speaker Boehner: ‘You’re Fired!’

September 27th, 2015 | by Johnnny
New York, NY – In preparation for his upcoming presidency, Donald Trump is already making some big changes. On Friday, the Trumpster told House Speaker John Boehner, “You’re Fired!”. Now, whenever...
If Elected President, Trump Vows To Go Bald
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If Elected President, Trump Vows To Go Bald

September 10th, 2015 | by Johnnny
New York, NY – While standing on top of his Trump Tower building, Donald Trump promised to a small gaggle of reporters that if elected president, he would shave the top of his own personal Trump Tower. Call it a gimmick if...
Donald Trump Planning Fly-Overs To Drop $100 Bills In Many Key Voting States
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Donald Trump Planning Fly-Overs To Drop $100 Bills In Many Key Voting States

August 14th, 2015 | by Johnnny
New York, NY – The next president of the United States wants to thank you in advance for your vote by dropping $100 bills from the sky. If you live in a key battleground state, expect to see Donald Trump’s plane doing...