Tag Archives: ground blizzard

Weatherman Predicting Worst Winter Ever :(

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Compared to the worst winters ever, this coming winter will top the charts.

West Fargo, ND – The good news is that your FM Observer just hired one of the best weather forecasters in the business.

The bad news is that our very own Dr. Noblin Glasgow is predicting the worst winter ever for our North Central region of the country.

Unfortunately, what we are hearing from Dr. Glasgow is that this coming winter will far exceed any of the previous worst winters on record.

“I am very sorry to say that this winter will make the winters of 1888, 1920, 1941, 1966, and 1997 look like birthday parties at a country club,” explains Dr. Noblin Glasgow while smoking a cigar amongst his stacks of scientific data.

Obviously, in light of this unsettling information, locals are calmly advised to stock up on all the usuals: candles, shovels, Doritos, and beer.

Interestingly, all the letters in Noblin Glasgow can be blown around to spell: Global Snowing!

Top Ten Winter Words North Dakotans Are Getting Really Sick Of

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Fargoans have really gotten to hate the word Arctic.

Fargo, ND – Our FM Observer reporters fanned out across the region to knock on doors asking people what winter words they are getting most tired of hearing.

After doing so, we then empirically compiled the comprehensive list into a scientific study.

We believe it is totally scientific because we used the word empirical.

What follows is a scientific poll of the Top Ten words or phrases that people living in this region are getting really sick of hearing:

10. Winter Snowstorm
9. Frizzle
8. Alberta Clipper
7. Pre-Shoveling
6. Snownami*
5. Windchill Factor
4. Black Ice
3. Blizzard Warning
2. Polar Vortex
1. Arctic

* Snownami is the scientific word for the large ridge of snow left at the end of driveways after the street plows come by to do their due diligence.

Moorhead Man Modifies Microwave Oven To Quickly Clear Snow From His Driveway

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Daddy, why don’t you just use that microwave oven to get rid of all the snow?

Moorhead, MN – After his daughter suggested the challenge, Wiman Moravec of North Moorhead attempted to tweak an older microwave oven to operate while open, in order to clear all the snow from their driveway.

After making some calculated modifications, Mr. Moravec and his daughter slowly moved the microwave oven around his driveway until all the snow had quickly “vaporized”.

Ironically, all the letters in Wiman Moravec can be microwaved to spell: Microwave Man!

Fargo Couple Plans Outdoor Wedding During Blizzard

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Blizzard Warning may be problematic for Fargo couple’s outdoor wedding.

Fargo, ND – Back on a beautiful day in September, during the initial planning phase of their rather large wedding ceremony, it seemed like such a great idea to have an outdoor wedding on the Thursday right after Christmas.

Even though some weather forecasters are now predicting two feet of snow along with gusts of 50 mph, Alvin Maja and Natali Karthika are still planning on going ahead with their outdoor wedding.

Some in their wedding party (and also many invited guests) are suggesting to the couple that they have a Plan B (which, in this case, could stand for Blizzard).

“Unfortunately, our Plan B is the same as our Plan A, so we are just hoping the weather clears up and is nice for us, to have our wedding outside, and that the musicians can play their instruments OK,” says the wedding couple, with their fingers crossed.