Ladies and gentlemen, lay your eyes on the official FM Observer Pimp Cup. It’s a cup. It’s a shaker. It’s even a flashlight. If you run out of bullets, use the ones that are fashioned around the base of the pimp cup. This is the beginning and the end. The alpha and the omega. It’s everything everyone has ever warned you about.
My first post of death metal band name ideas was so helpful, I’m providing my services yet again. Below is post #2 of death metal band name ideas. Again, please thank Bill Burns or the FM Observer if you use any of the ideas below for your band. Any of these names are sure to get your band started off the right foot and kicking ass all over the planet.
Unicorn Dicks of Death
Ass Fisters of Furry
Fatal Rotting Diseased Grandmas
Chronic Vommit
Robot Abortion
Revolting Baby Dismemberment
Cadaver Fuckers
Fat Roll Slammers W/Piss Farts
Death Devourment
Ball Sack Explosion
Chemical Plague
Lethal Snot Bomb
Pit Spike
Ginger Goats of Masturbation
Poo Stew
Diseased Breast Implants
Cock Grinder
Elephant Rapers
Cyclops Hookers
Bucket of Evil Tits
Stool Soup
Toilet of Acid
Coffin Robber Pimps
and last but not least…..
The Fart Fuckers On Acid Mountain of Morbid Carcass Masturbation Chevy Truck Bed Skunk Piss Barbie
Fargo, ND – The magic of love and commitment can be had anywhere. That anywhere happened to be the Northern Gentlemen’s club located in Fargo, North Dakota this past Thursday.
Amongst the smell of fish, piss, perfume, and sweat, love is in the air. Disco Dan, as he’s known on the street, finally manned up and proposed to his dancer girlfriend of 2 long weeks. Disco Dan didn’t plan it. In fact it was a spur of moment idea.
Dan was on a date with his girlfriend at the Northern, enjoying a few beers. In fact his girlfriend is a frequent and regular dancer here. After seeing his girlfriend slide up and down the grease pole, shaking her booty, he started to get an idea. But it was only after seeing a five dollar bill sticking inbetween her asshole and a thin piece of string called a thong that the idea of marriage seemed like a good idea.
Dan then got up from his sticky bar seat, reached into his coat pocket, and pulled out a ring he had been carrying with him since he won it at the local Walmart vending machine. He took the ring out of its protective plastic bubble, put it on his girlfriends hand while she was motor boating a local patron and asked the magic words, “Will you marry me?”
After putting her ass cheeks into the face of the man giving her money, she said, “YES!”
When Dan’s future wife was done dancing, the two proceeded to celebrate their new engagement by ordering fried chicken for dinner. A wedding date has yet to be scheduled.
Doyles Taxi Cab ad spot in Fargo’s 1953 City Directory.
The feature of this weeks ‘”Terrible Song Lyrics of The Week” is the one and only Ke$ha from her oh so terrible song ‘Die Young.’ Die Young is a single off her album Warrior.
Young hunks, taking shots
Stripping down to dirty socks
Music up, gettin’ hot
Kiss me, give me all you’ve got
It’s pretty obvious that you’ve got a crush (you know)
That magic in your pants, it’s making me blush (for sure)
These young hunks are taking shots and stripping down to their socks. First of all, that’s illegal. You can’t get nude in a bar dummy! I’ve seen some wild drunks but I’ve never seen young hunks taking shots stripping down to dirty socks. Second, you have nude hunks in their dirty socks and now they are dancing on the dance floor? I’m confused. That just wouldn’t fly. Third, some people may have a crush on you but I sure don’t. That magic in my pants that you speak of is that of a boner DYING. So if that makes you blush, your priorities are pretty low.
In summary, you have naked hunks, nude down to their dirty socks, dancing around with boners. Fannnntastic.
You can see the rest of the lyrics below. Although, if nobody hears from you after reading them, I’ll assume you drowned yourself in gasoline and set yourself on fire.
“Die Young”
I hear your heart beat to the beat of the drums
Oh, what a shame that you came here with someone
So while you’re here in my arms
Let’s make the most of the night like we’re gonna die young
We’re gonna die young
We’re gonna die young
Let’s make the most of the night like we’re gonna die young
Let’s make the most of the night like we’re gonna die young
Young hearts, out our minds
Running ’til we outta time
Wild child’s lookin’ good
Living hard just like we should
Don’t care who’s watching when we tearing it up (You Know)
That magic that we got nobody can touch (For sure)
Looking for some trouble tonight (yeah)
Take my hand, I’ll show you the wild, side
Like it’s the last night of our lives (uh huh)
We’ll keep dancing ’til we die
I hear your heart beat to the beat of the drums
Oh, what a shame that you came here with someone
So while you’re here in my arms,
Let’s make the most of the night like we’re gonna die young
We’re gonna die young
We’re gonna die young
Let’s make the most of the night like we’re gonna die young
Let’s make the most of the night like we’re gonna die young
Young hunks, taking shots
Stripping down to dirty socks
Music up, gettin’ hot
Kiss me, give me all you’ve got
It’s pretty obvious that you’ve got a crush (you know)
That magic in your pants, it’s making me blush (for sure)
Looking for some trouble tonight (yeah)
Take my hand, I’ll show you the wild side
Like it’s the last night of our lives (uh huh)
We’ll keep dancing ’til we die
I hear your heart beat to the beat of the drums
Oh, what a shame that you came here with someone
So while you’re here in my arms,
Let’s make the most of the night like we’re gonna die young
I hear your heart beat to the beat of the drums
Oh, what a shame that you came here with someone
So while you’re here in my arms
Let’s make the most of the night like we’re gonna die young
We’re gonna die young
We’re gonna die young
Let’s make the most of the night like we’re gonna die young
Fargo, ND – On Monday, Instagram, the popular photo app and website, updated its terms of service. This left its large user base unhappy and threatening to stop taking shitty pictures and leaving the app and website all together.
Instagram stated:
Some or all of the Service may be supported by advertising revenue. To help us deliver interesting paid or sponsored content or promotions, you agree that a business or other entity may pay us to display your username, likeness, photos (along with any associated metadata), and/or actions you take, in connection with paid or sponsored content or promotions, without any compensation to you. If you are under the age of eighteen (18), or under any other applicable age of majority, you represent that at least one of your parents or legal guardians has also agreed to this provision (and the use of your name, likeness, username, and/or photos (along with any associated metadata)) on your behalf.
You acknowledge that we may not always identify paid services, sponsored content, or commercial communications as such.
Basically, Instagram wants to sell your shitty pictures to companies that may want to use them.
This didn’t sit well with it’s users. They took to facebook and twitter, as well as collectively voiced their disdane on every blog they could find. Some actually deleted their accounts. But get this, some actually put down their phone and bathed, ate, and called their significant other to try and savor whatever relationship they had left.
You see, instagramers are always instagramming. There is no time for anything else. One instagrammer stated, “It’s like a drug. Everything I see I feel the NEED to take a picture of it and totally destroy it with instagram. Like yesterday, I took a dump, and totally had to take a picture of it. I turned shit into worse shit. You see?”
Instagram was just testing the waters. They wanted to see how much they could get away with and seemed to have crossed the line a tish too much. Today they came out with a reply:
The language we proposed also raised question about whether your photos can be part of an advertisement. We do not have plans for anything like this and because of that we’re going to remove the language that raised the question. Our main goal is to avoid things likes advertising banners you see in other apps that would hurt the Instagram user experience. Instead, we want to create meaningful ways to help you discover new and interesting accounts and content while building a self-sustaining business at the same time.
Basically they said, “LOL…JUST KIDDING!! HA HA!”
Wait until Instragram finds a better lawyer with a better use of words. This way instagrammers will still be clueless and can continue on taking pictures of banana peels, socks, carpet, and basically everything else.
In an effort to help out any new death metal bands around the area struggling to think of a name for their band, I’ve included some death metal band names you may use below.
Please give fmobserver.com credit if you end up using one of them. These names will surely please everyone. If any of these don’t help you out, stay tuned for part 2 of this list coming soon.
Dragon Testicle Death Punch
Bloody Intestine Hangers
Ass Hair Death Fire
Cunt Cutters
Necrophilia Anal Puke
Fatal Decay Skull Death Piss Fart
Eye Dagger Blood Spit
Colon Fire Of Death
Morbid Fetus Disfiguring
Decapitated Diarrhea
Scorn Flesh Droppings
Bullet Burial
Hooker Hunter
Gypsy Ballsack Impalers
Bloody Giraffe Polar Bear Kicker
Chainaxe Saw Blow Murder Blood Puddle
….and last but not least
Puke Pissing Digested Anal Neck Eye Socket Infected Poop Stool Dumper
London – A London ad agency and orchid, a testicular cancer organization, have teamed up to to offer “Bauballs.”
You may check out their website here.
Decorate your tree with some festive bravado and help a good cause by grabbing or sharing some Bauballs. We’ve teamed up with Orchid to create some Christmas tree ornaments that raise money and awareness of testicular cancer.
The product images above speak for themselves. How could you say no to these? Unfortunately these balls only come in the color red and not blue.