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Pantsless, Masturbating McDonald’s Customer, 69, Tried To Force Drive-Thru Worker To Touch Him

October 4th, 2013 | by Bill Burns
After picking up food from a McDonald’s drive-thru window, a pantsless 69-year-old Florida man allegedly tried to force a female employee to touch him as he masturbated in the front seat of his vehicle, police allege.  ...
Herpes-infected Monkeys Terrorize Florida
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Herpes-infected Monkeys Terrorize Florida

September 13th, 2013 | by Cody Marthaller
Hundreds of rare wild monkeys — some carrying herpes — are on the loose in Florida after a tour guide brought the spunky critters to the state long ago. Wildlife officials said that three pairs of Rhesus monkeys were...
Man Crashes Car Into 2 Cows Humping In Road (VIDEO)
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Man Crashes Car Into 2 Cows Humping In Road (VIDEO)

July 3rd, 2013 | by Bill Burns
In America, car breaks cow. In Soviet Russia, cow breaks your car and walks off like a boss. Video was shot with a dash cam in Russia.  As you can see, he crashes into two cows doing the dirty.  Afterwords, the cow walks off...
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Man High On Mushrooms Rips Off Part of Penis

July 2nd, 2013 | by Bill Burns
DETROIT — A 41-year-old Columbus, Ohio, man is recovering after police say he ripped off part of his penis on a drug-fueled high in Ypsilanti Township, Mich. Washtenaw County Sheriff’s deputies found the man naked and...
Three coincidental numbers prompt man to quit job
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Three coincidental numbers prompt man to quit job

February 8th, 2013 | by Nick
Nashville, TN – A god-fearing (or satan-fearing, depending on how you look at it) man in Tennessee quit his job the other day after his company W-2 form came through stamped with the numbers 666. Walter Slonopas got the...
Gay Love Donkeys To Be Married
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Gay Love Donkeys To Be Married

January 15th, 2013 | by Johnnny
Fargo, ND – A couple of gay Love Donkeys will soon “tie the knot” at the local zoo. It’s believed to be the first known pair of gay Love Donkeys in captivity to be married within the confines of a zoo-type...
Tom Cruise Certain Scientology Not A Hoax
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Tom Cruise Certain Scientology Not A Hoax

January 6th, 2013 | by Johnnny
Hollywood, CA – World famous movie star and maverick is adamant that Scientology is not a hoax. Our affiliate Hollywood reporter, Tojo Saxton, has some interesting new information about all this. FMO: Tojo, what’s...
Cat Receiving Monthly Social Security Checks
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Cat Receiving Monthly Social Security Checks

January 3rd, 2013 | by Johnnny
Missoula, MT – Cat owner was “surprised as hell” when her young cat started receiving a monthly social security check. What started out as an apparent system glitch has compounded itself into some nice...