Tag Archives: entertainment

ND DOT Has Plans To Reduce Driver License Wait Times From 4 Hours Down To Only 3 Hours!

At the ND DOT, the depart-mental morale is high (with an emphasis on the “mental” portion).

Fargone, ND – The North Dakota Department of Transportation has been working overtime to come up with some plans to decrease wait times to get driver’s licenses and that newly mandated REAL ID.

As wait times have recently elongated to over four hours, the ND DOT wants and needs to improve customer satisfaction by improving their services.

Some changes coming on the horizon include:

• Adding one additional service window at each and every location across the state.

• Provide stronger coffee for DOT workers.

• Make the driving test a lot easier to pass by showing all the correct answers.

Just imagine only having to wait 3 hours instead of 4!

• Add new temporary satellite offices at some popular local bars so people can have a beer while waiting.

• Call the “next served” numbers in random order instead of consecutive order to give everyone an equal chance.

• Create an alternative to the mandated REAL ID…called FAKE ID.

• Hire professional musicians, monkeys, mimes, magicians, and clowns to entertain folks while they wait for service.

New Game Show Called “Double Jeopardy” Features Twins Acquitted Of A Crime But Then Tried Again For Exact Same Crime

Double Jeopardy is a double hit!

Hollywood, CA – A new game show is being added to your “must-see” TV entertainment line-up and it’s called Double Jeopardy!

It is part game show and part court-room drama in which twins once acquitted of a crime are possibly retried for the same crime.

The host of the new show is Mr. Perky Parker: “Double Jeopardy is really going to be a great show! I hope you and your entire family watch it every week so I can keep my job during this down-tick in the stock market.”

If you’re a pair of twins who were once acquitted of a crime, and would like to be on the show for a chance to win some taxable cash, simply contact Mr. Perky Parker and have all your relevant information handy.

Oh, and don’t forget to tune in to watch Double Jeopardy!

Harpist To Serenade Downtown Fargo Valentine’s Day Patrons

Harpist

Für Elise in A-minor, whether you like it or not

Fargo, ND—The Observer is proud to announce a special treat for downtown Fargo this Valentine’s Day! The enchanting melodies of the soon-to-be infamous Broadway Harpist will serenade street-side onlookers this weekend. Couples who walk hand-in-hand down Broadway will enjoy the ambient presence of the heavenly harp-sick-cord.

Thine own soothing harpist shalt gleefully stalk ye with romantic sound as ye walk. He shalt follow thee downeth thine street-side, plucking gently at thilst instrument of divinity. Harken as ye traveleth by foot down thy sideth walketh; thine harpist shan’t be far away.

The street-side harpist will wheel his instrument close behind those who lag, strumming delicately. His harp wood might give you a playful nudge—but it’s all right! He merely wants to provide an intimate experience for you on this, the Lover’s Holiday. Tips are greatly appreciated.

Look for the harpist on a downtown Fargo sidewalk. Thilst playing shalt commence at the fall of nigh.

Album Review: Chimaira/Chimaira

Chimaira- Chimaira (2005)

Chimaira’s self-titled follow up to Impossibility Of Reason is not what you’d call “picking up where the band left off” but a turn in a darker, more intense direction of songwriting and guitar playing. Impossibility Of Reason came out in the year 2003 as their 3rd official studio album, the follow up to their major-label debut Pass Out Of Existence. The band toured relentlessly throughout a two-year period to promote IOR. They paid visit to small venues and arenas, their live performance reflecting the supersonic power of their studio work. This garnered them a legion of fans who i’m sure have eagerly anticipated their 4th release.  Through the creation of their first three albums, Chimaira have honed their songwriting and musical skills that have made the album Chimaira their very best. To get an idea of the band’s sound (for those of you who haven’t listened) one has to imagine this hideous mixture: A Slipknot/Metallica hybrid fueled by Jagermeister and suffering from an uncontrollable fit of ‘roid rage.  

This album has been widely considered as a kind of “epic” with songs as long as five to seven minutes in length, sans the repetitiveness and monotony you might expect. This provides a broader spectrum of experimental guitar riffs and solos sequenced with a decent mix of sampling that doesn’t go overboard. The album of course has what made Chimaira
famous- Mark Hunter’s screaming vocal talents as well as Rob Arnold’s lightning-quick guitar riffs that will make your blood shake. The song “Nothing Remains” shows true emotion on display as it was written on the very same day Dimebag Darrel Abbott was murdered. The same goes for the albums closing track “Lazarus”, a meaningful, brooding 7 & 1/2 minute mind-bender written about a friend who committed suicide 11 years ago. With Chimaira, the band evolves into a more mature and involved sound but doesn’t escape from the amped-up heaviness fans have come to expect.  

My favorite song on this disc is “Salvation”, and my very hard to choose least favorite song is “Inside the Horror.” “Salvation” contains a furious breakdown starting at about the 3:10 point that pretty much defines what metal is supposed to sound like. Unbeatable. “Inside the Horror” is my least favorite song simply because it’s the only song that lacks the sonic ferocity all the other tracks possess. I felt that what this album is missing is maybe a track or two containing some slower, drawn out riffs and a small amount of vocal melody. However, such is not part of this particular group’s M.O. They will come at you with blitzkrieg-style guitar shredding and a guttural scream that would force Coldplay through the nearest wall. All in all, I give this album a definite 10 out of 10 as one of my favorites and also one of the best metal albums ever produced.

Sample and buy the album HERE

November 2012 EVENT CALENDAR: What’s Happening in November

Fargo, ND – Here is a list of F-M Observer sponsored events and happenings taking place in the area this November.

Saturday, November 3:

PSYCHOGRAPHY: JOIN THE F-M GYPSY COALITION AS THEY LEAD YOU ON A JOURNEY THROUGH THE CAVERNS OF YOUR MIND. BRAVE UNCHARTED TERRAIN LYING DEEP WITHIN YOUR PSYCHE. 7:00 @ TEAMSTER’S UNION HALL. $20 ADMISSION. FREE HAT. SPONSORED BY THE F-M OBSERVER.

Wednesday, November 7:

WINTERIZE YOUR SOUL: INSULATE AND APPRECIATE. WORLD-RENOWNED SPEAKER TERRENCE MADISON WILL OUTLINE HIS 3-POINT PLAN ON HOW BEST TO PREPARE FOR THE WINTER SEASON. LEARN HOW TO SHUN YOUR NEEDS AND PROCRASTINATE BETTER WHILE KEEPING LOVED ONES AT BAY. 7:30 @ RAMADA CRYSTAL BALLROOM. $75 IN ADVANCE, $90 THE DAY OF THE SHOW. FREE HAT. SPONSORED BY THE F-M OBSERVER.

Saturday, November 10:

WINTER DRIVING COURSE: TOO STUPID TO REMEMBER HOW TO DRIVE IN THE SNOW AFTER ONLY 8 MONTHS?  JOIN OUR ANNUAL WINTER DRIVING COURSE SO YOU CAN RE-LEARN HOW TO SLOW DOWN WHEN THAT WHITE STUFF FALLS FROM THE SKY (WHITE STUFF IS SNOW AND WINTER IS A SEASON WHEN SNOW FALLS) FREE FOR EVERYONE.  LOCATED IN ALL HIGH SCHOOL PARKING LOTS.  FREE “MY KID IS NOT AN HONOR STUDENT” BUMPER STICKER.

Sunday, November 11:

GLADIATOR CAMP: CAMP WRAPS UP FOR THE YEAR. WE WILL BE HANDING OUT AWARDS FOR MOST VALUABLE SLAYER, MOST IMPROVED SLAYER, COMEBACK SLAYER OF THE YEAR AND OTHERS. RSVP VIA TWITTER @FMObserver IF YOU CAN OR CAN’T MAKE IT. USUAL SPOT IN THE FIELD NORTH OF HECTOR INT’L AIRPORT. FREE HAT. SPONSORED BY F-M OBSERVER.

Friday, November 23:

FARGO ASIAN FESTIVAL: MUSIC AND MARTIAL ARTS.  FREE FOR EVERYONE.  LOCATED ON SHEYENNE STREET IN WEST FARGO.

CANNIBALS ANONYMOUS sessions are held, as always, every Tuesday and Thursday of the month. Details available HERE.

Thanks, and we hope to see you soon!