Tag Archives: montana

Montana Tractor Picked Up By Tornado Lands In Minnesota

This powerful tornado somehow carried a tractor all the way across the state of North Dakota!

Climax, MN – A tractor that started out in Crane, Montana ended up in Climax, Minnesota thanks to a very large and fast moving tornado.

Tornadologist Corry Langfitt says he’s never seen anything like it: “Yeah, I ain’t never seen anything like it,” says Corry, who went on to say: “This would be considered very unusual, if you’re asking me.”

Gatlin Rycroft, the owner of the tractor, was quite surprised to find that his tractor had flown all the way from Crane, Montana, across the entire state of North Dakota, and then into Minnesota where it landed just before it got to Climax.

Gatlin in his own words: “If you would’ve told me my darn tractor would get picked up by a tornado, and then go and land over there in Minnesota, I’da thought you were some kinda crazy nutcase!”

Ironically, all the letters in both Langfitt Corry and Gatlin Rycroft can be re-arranged to spell: Flying Tractor!

Montana Earthquake Either Caused By Global Fracking Or Payback For Unabomber

Lincoln, Montana: Home of the infamous Unabomber gets punished with a strong 5.8 Earthquake.

Lincoln, MT – Experts are divided on what exactly caused the rare 5.8 earthquake that recently struck western Montana.

One school of thought is that Global Fracking was the cause of the quake.

“All those fracking oil drillers are upsetting Mother Earth who doesn’t like horizontal holes being drilled through her upper crust,” opined long-time resident Miryam Bravenboer.

Others strongly believe it was simply payback for Lincoln, Montana having been the home of The Unabomber, Ted Kaczynski.

Either way, this earthquake was felt far and wide, along with hours of seismic aftershocks which knocked over beers in pubs and rocked older bears with cubs.

How do you feel about earthquakes?
Are you an anti-fracker?
Do you remember The Unabomber?
How much can you bench press?
When was the last time you sent a postcard?

Montana Pipe Dream A Religious Experience

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Old Man Hubbard

Helena, Montana – On this day in history, a veterinarian named James W. Hubbard (just call me “Jim”) would meet the love of his life, one young Philena “Jane” Potter.

Jim and Jane would then, soon after, adopt a young boy named Henry August Wilson, who would later change his legal name to Harry Ross Hubbard.

Harry, while working for the military in Nebraska, one day met a lovely teacher named Miss Ledora May Waterbury.

Together they had a boy whom they named Lafayette Ronald Hubbard. As a youngster, Lafayette loved spending time reading cheap fiction and visiting his grandfather back in big sky Montana.

While looking up at all the stars on Saturday nights, Grandpa Jim would make up crazy stories for young Lafayette about aliens from other planets while sitting around a campfire, smoking a peace pipe with their blood-brother Blackfeet Native American friends.

The next morning, the Hubbard family would all attend church together while young Lafayette was still stoned from smoking the Blackfoot peace pipe. Every time the pastor, who had a bad lisp, would thay the word “Satan“, young stoned Lafayette thought he was thaying the word “Thetan“.

When he grew up into a man, Lafayette Ronald Hubbard would go on to write a book about all of his grandfather’s kooky stories, and turn it into the largest, successful, fake-religious cult in the history of mankind, and call it Scientology. And now you know, the rest of the story!

KVRR Fox of Fargo-Moorhead Weather Reporter Says What?

KVRR Fox of Fargo-Moorhead Weather Reporter Says What?

Fargo, ND – Imagination time.

Late one evening I was sitting on my couch completely nude, besides my long white socks, and enjoying a nice warm cup of tea.  I was hours into reviewing quantum mechanics equations (I do this for my own amusement) and wondering when I should tell the world that I built a working time machine.

In between these thoughts I decided to take a small break from solving world problems, one time travel trip at a time, and it was then I turned the channel to KVRR FOX of Fargo-Moorhead to check the weather.  Right at that moment I stumbled upon the weatherman mispronouncing the city of “Cut Bank.”  Now to my ears it sounds like he is about to say “Cum Bank” but the call is entirely up to you.  Seems the weatherman had other things on his mind?