Category Archives: Recipes For Success

You can build anything if you have the Recipe For Success

Busload Of Fargo Folks Heading To The Royal Wedding

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This beautiful bus will be bringing some very excited Fargoans to see the big Royal Wedding!

Fargo, ND – What started out as just a joking comment during some weekend beers in a garage has now turned into an official chartered bus that will be bringing a full busload of people from Fargo, North Dakota to attend the Royal Wedding in England.

“Yah, me and some of our neighbors kinda got this-here idea started, and then all of a sudden we got ourselves a full bus going to see Prince Hairy tie the knot with that Markle gal from America,” says Clyde Hammerschmidt of North Fargo.

Just in case they have any last-minute cancellations, please let Clyde Hammerschmidt know if you would like to be a stand-by substitute traveller to go see a once-in-a-lifetime chance to see a historical wedding of Royal proportions.

Nursing Home Residents Shocked When Told They Must Run The Full Fargo Marathon

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These residents are stunned when told that running the full Fargo Marathon is mandatory.

Fargo, ND – You can imagine the surprised shock when one of Fargo’s larger nursing homes told all of its residents that they each must run the full Fargo Marathon.

“Well, it just doesn’t make any sense! How am I supposed to run 26.2 miles at my age?” asked Mable Altenberg, who just recently turned 92 years old.

When we asked the executive directors of this particular nursing home why, they simply responded that the residents need to get out more and that they’ll each be happy about the decision after crossing the finish line.

Fargo Approves Funding For “Perv Park” Where Area Pervs Can Gather

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Fargo’s new Perv Park will be a gathering spot for area pervs to meet and greet others of their same ilk.

Fargo, ND – A somewhat controversial decision by the Fargo Park Authority is raising a few eyebrows.

Funding has recently been granted to create a so–called Perv Park.

This would be an area explicitly for local pervs to congregate and share stories, interests, and fears.

Some people against the idea wonder why tax dollars need to be spent on creating a special park just for pervs.

Those in favor of it say that there is a time and a place for everything according to timelines, budgets, interests, and votes.

How do you feel about Fargo creating a Perv Park?

Do you think having a park just for pervs is a good idea?

Can you think of something that would be more deserving of Fargo’s tax money?

Mind Expansion Seminars Can Help You Reach Beyond Your Full Potential!

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Consider your mind to be the final frontier of endless possibilities.

West Fargo, ND – Have you been thinking that up until now you have not been using the full power of your mind?

Do you sometimes wonder how much brain power is actually under the hood of your head?

The FM Observer is proud to announce that our dear friend Dr. Madison Pennix will be hosting some powerful and life–changing Mind Expansion Seminars in the FM area.

All subjects related to thinking, memory, logic, intuition, and cognition will be discussed in serious talks sprinkled with levity and personal anecdotes.

Please stop by our corporate headquarters to sign up for these free Mind Expansion Seminars but we do ask for a voluntary mandatory donation of $500 to help provide seminar leaders and special guests with enough food and drink to make them feel like rock stars during their time here.

Ironically, all the letters in Madison Pennix can be re-arranged to spell: Mind Expansion!

Emperor Penguin Elected President Of Antarctica

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President Skipper Kowalski: Antarctica’s first-ever penguin president!

South Pole, Antarctica – History has once again been made as the southern-most continent has elected its first penguin president.

Skipper Kowalski along with his wife Frieda will be moving into the presidential ice palace after his official inaugaration later this year.

President Kowalski has promised jobs for all while maintaining a balanced budget with no unfunded mandates.

Other leaders from around the world have tried contacting Skipper to congratulate him but apparently his smartphone was rather frozen.

Hawaiian Officials Warning People That Hot Lava Is Very Hot

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Don’t touch the hot lava to feel how hot it is.

Hawaii, HI – Governmental leaders are trying to remind residents and visitors on Hawaii’s Big Island that hot lava is nothing with which to play around.

“Even though it looks so mesmerizingly beautiful, please do not attempt to touch the hot lava or even go near it as it can sometimes bubble up and the spattered little drops could ruin your nice new Hawaiian shirt,” says Kiko Kimona, Hawaii’s top lavologist.

One angry vacationer visiting from Moorhead, Minnesota was considering filing a lawsuit because the lava was so hot that it completed melted her can of Beef Ravioli that she was trying to cook for her family (not to mention what it did to their rental car).

Controlled Burn That Got Out Of Control Now 50% Contained

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“Controlled Burn” that suddenly became an uncontrolled burn is now only about 50% contained.

Burnstad, ND – Highly trained governmental environmental workers trying to do a controlled burn helplessly watched it suddenly get out of control when winds began to gust up out of nowhere.

“Yeah, no, what began as our controlled burn, ah, quickly changed over to what we call an uncontrolled burn,” reports Luton Crofoot, who lit the original fire with a casual flick of his cigarette butt.

Luton added: “Maybe we should’ve paid better attention to thee, ah, windcast for the time period in which we planned to stage our, ah, controlled burn.”

Fire containment experts on the scene estimated that the out-of-control controlled burn is now approximately 50% contained.

However, they do admit that the 50% that is not contained is 100% out of control as environmental workers try to set additional back fires which are also getting out of control thanks to the wind.

Ironically, all of the charred letters in Luton Crofoot can be hotly re-arranged to spell: Out Of Control!

Mueller Seeks To Penetrate Trump’s Personal Inner Sanctum With Long Large Probe

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Robert Mueller is focused on an elongated probe of President Trump’s inner world.

Washington, DC – Robert Mueller, the very special counsel appointed to investigate any and all possible links and/or coordination between the Russian government and the Donald Trump campaign is promising to leave no stones unturned.

No matter how long as it takes, the Mueller probe vows to penetrate all facts and leads to their end points, not unlike the vast network of tunnels in a large ant hill.

Even though it has been described by some as a witch hunt and/or fishing expedition, the Special Counsel’s inquisition will poke and prod until there is nothing left to explore and all possible federal crimes have been fully delved into, not unlike an extended presidential colonoscopy.

New UND Mascot Needs A Name!

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You know my name. Say it! Say my name!

Grand Forks, UND – It’s time once again to put on your politically correct thinking caps to help name UND’s chosen mascot.

The winner of the mascot naming contest could possibly win a trip to Grand Forks (and the second place award would be two trips to Grand Forks).

You can leave your mascot name idea as a comment or email it to us at: fmobserver@gmail.com

Or, you can just vote for one of the following ten choices which have all been graciously pre-approved by the NCAA:

Choice X1: Flippy
Choice X2: Flip, The Bird
Choice X3: Fighting Sue
Choice Y1: Suzie
Choice Y2: Sioux-Z
Choice Y3: Beak
Choice Z1: Hawkeye 2.0
Choice Z2: ​T​he Bird
Choice Z3: P.C.
Choice Z4: Mascot

If voting for an NCAA pre-approved name, please use its official Choice Code (ie: X2) and also include a reason or nostalgic story why you think this should be the wiener. How will I know if I won? The UND mascot will land on your roof and fly you to Grand Forks for the swearing-in ceremony, after which you will be a guest in its nest.

Kitchen Remodeling Company Creating Questionably Satisfied Customers

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Done is better than perfect!

Moorhead, MN – OK Remodeling Company has proudly been trying to remodel kitchens in the area for years.

They maybe sometimes miss the mark but at least they try hard and work till the job is supposedly done.

What do clients say about OK Remodeling Company?

Yemane Ambessa: “When we saw what they did to our kitchen, my wife and I were utterly stunned, and then we both started crying.”

Jago Brownlock: “I would like to track down the person who recommended this company to us.”

If you have need for a remodeling company to give your kitchen a new look, call OK Remodeling Company at 666-6666 any time after midnight.