Tag Archives: travel

New ND Governor’s Mansion Mistaken For Highway Rest Area By Many Travelers

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Many find the marble bathrooms in the new ND Governor’s Residence to be very nice.

Bizmark, ND – Whether planned or unplanned is not certain at this juncture, but North Dakota’s new Governor’s Mansion looks like a highway rest area to many driving by.

Many a weary traveler going across the state have stopped at the new Executive Residence recently built for North Dakota’s Governor and have walked in to use the main floor bathroom facilities.

Some have even snooped into the kitchen fridge and played the lobby piano before continuing on with their journey.

The architect for the Executive Mansion was unavailable for comment, however he did text us back adamantly asking that we never send him another text again.

Besides looking like a highway rest area, others have likened the Executive Palace to a secretive bilateral nuclear bomb test shelter site.

But since the taxpayers of North Dakota own it because we paid for it, feel free to continue to stop and use it as a highway rest area, but please, only play the piano if you’re a certified trained professional.

Busload Of Fargo Folks Heading To The Royal Wedding

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This beautiful bus will be bringing some very excited Fargoans to see the big Royal Wedding!

Fargo, ND – What started out as just a joking comment during some weekend beers in a garage has now turned into an official chartered bus that will be bringing a full busload of people from Fargo, North Dakota to attend the Royal Wedding in England.

“Yah, me and some of our neighbors kinda got this-here idea started, and then all of a sudden we got ourselves a full bus going to see Prince Hairy tie the knot with that Markle gal from America,” says Clyde Hammerschmidt of North Fargo.

Just in case they have any last-minute cancellations, please let Clyde Hammerschmidt know if you would like to be a stand-by substitute traveller to go see a once-in-a-lifetime chance to see a historical wedding of Royal proportions.

Fargo Boy First To Ride Rocket Bike Into Space

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Expect to see many more Rocket Bikes flying out into deep space.

Fargo, ND – A young Fargo man who shall remain unnamed since he is only age 15, has not only started his own company called Space Exit, but has also designed, built, and successfully flown his own Rocket Bike into space.

Jermaine Vincent Cohen, who just turned 15 on Saturday, wanted to prove that his dream of flying a rocket bike into space was not only achievable, but also marketable.

His Fargo-based company called Space Exit will soon begin mass-producing his amazing Rocket Bike so other thrill-seekers can experience the extreme exhilaration of blasting off and riding a bike out into deep space.

Some industry analysts are saying that young Jermaine Cohen’s Rocket Bike is to travel as the iPhone was to communication.

Man Mails Himself To Vacation Destination In A Cardboard Box

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There’s more than one way to go on vacation.

Box Elder, SD – Rather than pay exorbitant airfare prices for seats that are getting smaller by the day, one South Dakota man had a creative and relatively inexpensive way of getting himself to Puerto Vallarta.

Declan Morgans decided it would be ten times cheaper to mail himself to Mexico in a cardboard box rather than pay some airline to box him into tight seating not unlike sardines in a can.

Once he arrived at his destination and became unboxed, Declan simply did a few stretches and then headed to the nearest margarita for some automatic attitude adjustment.

Statistics show that more and more people are either mailing themselves or their kids and pets to destinations heretofore only traveled to by conventional modes of transportation.

What do you think about this? Would you travel in a cardboard box to distant lands? Do you think airlines passenger seats are becoming too small and too densely packed together? Does a margarita sound real good to you right about now?

FMO Planning An Exciting Bus Tour Excursion For Our Readers To The Fossil Fish Festival

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Join us for the Fossil Fish Festival. It’s a fun way to waste a weekend and also a great way to meet people you normally would want to avoid.

West Fargo, ND – The FMO Tour Bus is being cleaned out (from our last trip to the State Prison) for our next Reader Tour Fun Package!

Where are we going this time? To Wyoming, to see the amazing Fossil Fish Festival on February 18th!

You may ask yourself: Whyoming? Well, because that’s where the Fossil Fish Festival is being held – in Laramie, which is in the state of Wyoming, which is somewhere North of Colorado.

This will be the 30th anniversary of the designation of the wonderful fossil fish “Knightia”, who is Wyoming’s official state fossil which evolved roughly 50 million years ago!

This extinct fossil fish has served as Wyoming’s State Fossil Fish for 30 years and because it is so similar to herring, they will be serving expensive pickled herring for a nominal fee of $50 per person.

Sign up for our Fossil Fish Festival Fun Package at our Corporate Office Park.

The cost for the entire Fun Package is $999.99 which does not include any food, drinks, lodging, tips, and/or emergency medical attention.

Sign up early and often so we have enough time to do some extreme vetting into your personal life and of those who may be sitting next to you for the 36 hour round trip.

Some Useful Phrases When Travelling To Norway

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When in Norway, have fun speaking some Norwegian!

Oslo, Norway – It seems like everyone is travelling to Norway these days.

Perhaps this is the reason why the FM Observer has been repeatedly asked to provide a quick tutorial on speaking Norwegian, which is the language of the people that live there!

Since we never disappoint, here are fifteen (15) key phrases we strongly suggest that you memorize prior to landing in Oslo (it really helps to make flashcards before boarding your flight):

Where is the beer? = der er øl?
My mother will fight your father = min mor vil kjempe din far
What time is it on the moon? = hva er klokka på månen?
I would like to apply for an easy job = Jeg ønsker å søke om en enkel jobb
What colors can I wear here? = hvilke farger kan jeg bruke her?
I like when you rub my back = Jeg liker når du gni ryggen min
Could you bring me to your leader? = kan du gi meg din leder?
Back home, people treat me like a king = hjem, folk behandler meg som en konge
Could you please not stand so close to me? = Kan du ikke stå så nær meg?
I have a good recipe for making biscuits = Jeg har en god oppskrift for å lage kjeks
Why is your family so short? = hvorfor er din familie så kort?
My daughter wants to meet your son = min datter ønsker å møte din sønn
Can you buy me a car for my birthday? = kan du kjøpe meg en bil til bursdagen min?
I need to find some mayonnaise very quickly = Jeg trenger å finne noen majones svært raskt
Do you have a telescope in your bedroom? = har du et teleskop på soverommet?

Travel With All Your FMO Friends To Magical Goosey-Goosey Island!

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Goosey-Goosey Island is waiting for you!

The magic of Goosey-Goosey Island is waiting for you!

Ocean Butte, Atlantic – Are you in minor need of a major getaway or vice versa?

Has your March Madness turned into March Sadness?

Looking for a trip to trump all trips?

It’s time once again to sign up for FMO’s Annual Migration to Goosey-Goosey Island!

Spread your wings and fly away to FMO’s #1 destination for relaxational challenges that most only dream about.

Flock like birds of a feather with others who share your twisted views of reality.

By signing up for our Goosey-Goosey Island Travel Package, it shows you are a person of insightful keenness of mind while also having a stout heart and an appetite for living.

Leave your smartphones, remote controls, church choir practices, and road rage behind.

Don’t worry about the travel details or dates because we always work around YOUR schedule, so there’s really no excuse not to go.

This is all about you, and all of your FM Observer friends. This is all about you experiencing first-hand the magic of Goosey-Goosey Island.

Sign up now and get a free travel packet which includes: an inflatable life jacket, some hot-hot-hot jalapeno beef shtix, an official emergency signaling mirror, and a 3-D Google map showing all the magical wonders of Goosey-Goosey Island!

For Thanksgiving, Win Your Family A Trip To Turkey!

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Four free nights for a family of four at the Grand Turkey Hotel.

4 nights 4 a family of 4 at the Grand Turkey Hotel!

Fatsa, Turkey – Readers of the FM Observer are invited to submit their application for a trip-of-a-lifetime to Turkey for Thanksgiving.

In your application, briefly explain why you and your family should be selected for this most special holiday trip to the homeland of the Turkey.

The chosen winning family will stay at a 3-star hotel and provided a full turkey dinner each and every day, cooked just the way the locals have eaten it for centuries.

If it’s not raining, travel the picturesque countryside being pulled by horse on a hay wagon while being serenaded by hand-made mandolins.

Stop to purchase spices ground in mortar and pestles dating back to the Byzantine Empire.

Everything included, the trip will only cost you $3,850 per person, not including U.S. and Turkish duty taxes, and plus a 15% finder’s fee for the FM Observer.

Start packing your bags because the time is now, and the place is Turkey!

Join FMO On A Whirlwind Trip Around The World

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Make New Friends While Seeing 100 Cities In 100 Days

Non-stop travel means non-stop fun!

Non-stop travel means non-stop fun!

Fargo, ND – We here at the FM Observer are gearing up for our 1st Annual Trip Around The World.

The plan is to hit one hundred cities in one hundred days of fun-packed adventure while making some new life-long friends.

This whirlwind world tour will include stops in such places as: Milan, Madrid, Melbourne, Mexico City, Minsk, Moscow, Monterey, Montreal, and Mutunopolis. Basically any city that starts with an ‘M’ is fair game.

In some cities we might be there for only a couple of hours especially if we can’t find any decent rooms to rent.

Travelers would need to have a valid passport and would be limited to one carry-on piece of luggage.

The total cost per person is unclear at this time so you’ll have to bring lots of money.

For more details, simply contact Fly-By-Night Travel and ask for Merlin. Tell him you’ll be traveling with the FM Observer group and that you want the “Fun Package”.