Local

Dilworth Fire Chief says, “I’m pretty sure it’s totaled.”
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Dilworth Fire Chief says, “I’m pretty sure it’s totaled.”

March 14th, 2012 | by Bill Burns
Let me show you somethin! Dilworth, MN – A home being constructed in northeast Dilworth caught on fire this morning.  Workers on site reported the fire and thankfully nobody was hurt.  “I’m pretty sure...
No Patch No Party
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No Patch No Party

March 14th, 2012 | by Bill Burns
“There will absolutely be no strippers here.” Williston, ND – Truck driver turned self made pimp party promoter Troy McKinley has come under fire recently.  Troy McKinley has been promoting and even selling...
Remodeling Hector International Airport
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Remodeling Hector International Airport

March 14th, 2012 | by Bill Burns
“I haven’t seen a plane in 4 years.” Fargo, ND – Fargo North Dakota’s one and only Hector International Airport is undergoing a significant remodeling project.  The former Barnstormer Restaurant...
Area Teenager Denied Access to Family Vehicle
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Area Teenager Denied Access to Family Vehicle

March 14th, 2012 | by Nick
Juvenile doesn’t get what he wants West Fargo, ND – An area teen became visibly flustered today as a request to borrow the family vehicle was swiftly shot down by the Man of the House.  Carson Hendrickson, 16, of...
“Piece of Crap” Recreational Vehicle Thrives in Western North Dakota Oil Boom
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“Piece of Crap” Recreational Vehicle Thrives in Western North Dakota Oil Boom

March 14th, 2012 | by Nick
A janky Western North Dakota RV revels in the demand for affordable housing Williston, ND – The milking of Western North Dakota’s oil reserves continues to flourish, bringing financial prosperity to the area. However,...
Former F-M Area City Planner Taking It In the Face Over Sexual Innuendo
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Former F-M Area City Planner Taking It In the Face Over Sexual Innuendo

March 14th, 2012 | by Nick
The names of cities and towns in this area have fallen under heavy scrutiny. Fargo, ND – As the population of our area continues to grow, more prominent figures have taken notice of the rampant perversion of its city...
Idiot Arrested After Attempted Drug Deal With Obvious Off-Duty Cop
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Idiot Arrested After Attempted Drug Deal With Obvious Off-Duty Cop

March 14th, 2012 | by Nick
Dumb ass immediately arrested after walk up drug sale attempt Fargo, ND – An Otsego, MN man was arrested last night after propositioning a cocaine deal to what was quite obviously an off-duty cop. The lieutenant wore street...
Alleged TouchTunes Terrorist Spreading Christmas Cheer Throughout the Land
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Alleged TouchTunes Terrorist Spreading Christmas Cheer Throughout the Land

March 14th, 2012 | by Bill Burns
Coming to a jukebox near you: Crappy Happy music. Fargo, ND – Modern technologies have afforded us many luxuries. In this day & age any knucklehead with a smartphone can hack into your favorite bar’s sound...
Local Elderly Lady Informed That She Was Dead.
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Local Elderly Lady Informed That She Was Dead.

March 14th, 2012 | by Bill Burns
Studying zombie survival wasn’t so stupid after all. Fargo, ND – Super Tuesday is supposed to be SUPER FUN.  Not for a local 84 year old elderly lady named Maureen.  She showed up to vote and was told she was...
ALERT! ICP Fan With White Paint Giving Underage Large Women Alcohol.
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ALERT! ICP Fan With White Paint Giving Underage Large Women Alcohol.

March 14th, 2012 | by Bill Burns
Fargo, ND – There is a JUGGALO alert out for a white ICP (Insane Clown Posse) fan hacking people with machetes.  He was last seen giving alcohol to an underage large woman.  He was wearing white paint, or ‘witch...