National

FDA Issues Recall of 20 Million Spoiled Rotten Children

Washington, DC – In an unprecedented move, the Food and Drug Administration has issued a recall of what experts are calling the most toxic substance in America: its own spoiled rotten children.  While these whining brats...

Online Trolls Say 2014 Will Be A Great Year For Them

Online trolls have recently slithered out of their holes to state that they think 2014 will be a great year for them. Due to the still ever increasing use of social media, trolls are having a better chance of seeing uplifting...

Ukraine President’s Brother Weird Al Yanukovych Releases Album

Kiev, Ukraine – Although it is common to see Ukraine’s President Viktor Yanukovych in the news, it is one of his relatives who is making headlines as of late. The President’s estranged brother, Weird Al...

North Dakotans Live In A State Of Happiness

Fargo, ND – Gallup’s recent release of its annual “Happiest State” poll results has left many Americans dumbfounded to see North Dakota sitting in 1st place for 2014.  It is being widely reported that...

The Queen Of England Wants Stonehenge Moved To Buckingham Palace

Wiltshire, England – Rumor has it that The Queen of England wants Stonehenge moved from the town of Wiltshire to the grounds of Buckingham Palace before she steps down from the throne. John Thomas, an expert in English...

UFO Sighting In North Dakota Caught On Camera

Perth, North Dakota – An amazing UFO sighting was caught on camera just outside Perth, in north central North Dakota. Towner County Sheriff Ben Dover somehow captured this amazing image on his cell phone, while watching...

Westboro Church States, “It’s Ok To Be Gay On Valentine’s Day.”

Topeka, Kansas – In a weird turn of events, The Westboro Baptist Church announced today that it was Ok To Be Gay on Valentine’s Day. Two men wrestling each other’s penises, the church states, is “OK on...

EPA Lifts Ban On Tire Fires to Combat Winter

Washington, DC—As yet another ice storm decimates the south with a torrential downpour of frozen goodness, local governments there are declaring a state of emergency. States like Georgia and North Carolina have deemed their...

All-Candy Diet Promoted By Candy Companies

Kandiyohi County, MN – A prestigious group of some of the top candy companies in the world are encouraging people to go on an all-candy diet. A large consortium of candy companies called the CandyLand Group (which includes:...

Man Responsible For Olympic Ring Mishap Found Dead In Sochi

 Sochi, Russia – The man responsible for operating the Olympic rings during this years Winter Olympic Opening Ceremonies in Russia was found dead in his run down hotel room yesterday. The Daily Currant has reported...