National

FDA Issues Recall of 20 Million Spoiled Rotten Children
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FDA Issues Recall of 20 Million Spoiled Rotten Children

March 5th, 2014 | by Kitz
Washington, DC – In an unprecedented move, the Food and Drug Administration has issued a recall of what experts are calling the most toxic substance in America: its own spoiled rotten children.  While these whining brats...
Online Trolls Say 2014 Will Be A Great Year For Them
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Online Trolls Say 2014 Will Be A Great Year For Them

March 2nd, 2014 | by Bill Burns
Online trolls have recently slithered out of their holes to state that they think 2014 will be a great year for them. Due to the still ever increasing use of social media, trolls are having a better chance of seeing uplifting...
Ukraine President’s Brother Weird Al Yanukovych Releases Album
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Ukraine President’s Brother Weird Al Yanukovych Releases Album

March 1st, 2014 | by Kitz
Kiev, Ukraine – Although it is common to see Ukraine’s President Viktor Yanukovych in the news, it is one of his relatives who is making headlines as of late. The President’s estranged brother, Weird Al...
North Dakotans Live In A State Of Happiness
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North Dakotans Live In A State Of Happiness

February 23rd, 2014 | by Kitz
Fargo, ND – Gallup’s recent release of its annual “Happiest State” poll results has left many Americans dumbfounded to see North Dakota sitting in 1st place for 2014.  It is being widely reported that...
The Queen Of England Wants Stonehenge Moved To Buckingham Palace
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The Queen Of England Wants Stonehenge Moved To Buckingham Palace

February 21st, 2014 | by Johnnny
Wiltshire, England – Rumor has it that The Queen of England wants Stonehenge moved from the town of Wiltshire to the grounds of Buckingham Palace before she steps down from the throne. John Thomas, an expert in English...
UFO Sighting In North Dakota Caught On Camera
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UFO Sighting In North Dakota Caught On Camera

February 16th, 2014 | by Johnnny
Perth, North Dakota – An amazing UFO sighting was caught on camera just outside Perth, in north central North Dakota. Towner County Sheriff Ben Dover somehow captured this amazing image on his cell phone, while watching...
Westboro Church States, “It’s Ok To Be Gay On Valentine’s Day.”
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Westboro Church States, “It’s Ok To Be Gay On Valentine’s Day.”

February 14th, 2014 | by Bill Burns
Topeka, Kansas – In a weird turn of events, The Westboro Baptist Church announced today that it was Ok To Be Gay on Valentine’s Day. Two men wrestling each other’s penises, the church states, is “OK on...
EPA Lifts Ban On Tire Fires to Combat Winter
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EPA Lifts Ban On Tire Fires to Combat Winter

February 13th, 2014 | by Nick
Washington, DC—As yet another ice storm decimates the south with a torrential downpour of frozen goodness, local governments there are declaring a state of emergency. States like Georgia and North Carolina have deemed their...
All-Candy Diet Promoted By Candy Companies
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All-Candy Diet Promoted By Candy Companies

February 12th, 2014 | by Johnnny
Kandiyohi County, MN – A prestigious group of some of the top candy companies in the world are encouraging people to go on an all-candy diet. A large consortium of candy companies called the CandyLand Group (which includes:...
Man Responsible For Olympic Ring Mishap Found Dead In Sochi
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Man Responsible For Olympic Ring Mishap Found Dead In Sochi

February 9th, 2014 | by Bill Burns
 Sochi, Russia – The man responsible for operating the Olympic rings during this years Winter Olympic Opening Ceremonies in Russia was found dead in his run down hotel room yesterday. The Daily Currant has reported...