Local

New Aquatic Nuisance Species A Nightmare From Hell
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New Aquatic Nuisance Species A Nightmare From Hell

April 7th, 2014 | by Johnnny
Detroit Lakes, MN – The Minnesota DNR has begrudgingly confirmed the addition of a new aquatic nuisance species (ANS) to their growing list. While the inexorable invasion of zebra mussels continues to threaten local lakes...
Rash of Burglaries Confounds Police in Little Rock, AR
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Rash of Burglaries Confounds Police in Little Rock, AR

April 5th, 2014 | by Kitz
Little Rock, AR – Local police are dealing with what may be one of the worst outbreaks in recent memory. A highly contagious rash of burglaries is plaguing the precinct, causing symptoms ranging from intense itching to...
Replace Your Insomnia With 15 Possible Side Effects
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Replace Your Insomnia With 15 Possible Side Effects

April 4th, 2014 | by Johnnny
Sleepy Eye, MN – Are you one of the millions of frustrated people who have trouble sleeping at night? Maybe you should consider doing what many other desperate insomniacs do. Perhaps you need to get hooked on Ambien. Most...
GM Now Recalling Every Car Ever Made
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GM Now Recalling Every Car Ever Made

April 2nd, 2014 | by Johnnny
Detroit, MI – What started out as a massive GM recall of only certain makes and models has now mushroomed into the largest recall that we can ever recall in human history. GM Haiku: Own a GM car? If so, it’s being...
Fargo Facing Severe Clown Shortage
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Fargo Facing Severe Clown Shortage

March 25th, 2014 | by Johnnny
Fargo, ND – While our country is experiencing a national clown shortage, Fargo’s clown shortage is in the severe-to-extreme category. Circus folk have been warning for years that a clown shortage was looming on the...
Multi-tools Review
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Multi-tools Review

March 25th, 2014 | by Bill Burns
If you didn’t know, I just recently got back from a trip to the Democratic Republic of Congo.  I have been looking at vacation/retirement property there for a while now.  During my trip I got to use a variety of...
Alarmists Say Rising Spring Temps Evidence Of Global Warming
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Alarmists Say Rising Spring Temps Evidence Of Global Warming

March 15th, 2014 | by Johnnny
Globe Village, MA – Global Warmers are pointing to rising temperatures in the northern hemisphere as proof positive of deadly Global Warming. What about the southern hemisphere? Dr. Julian Zellus of the Global Warming...
New York Sinkhole Continues To Swallow Victims
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New York Sinkhole Continues To Swallow Victims

March 13th, 2014 | by Johnnny
New York, NY – It started out as just a small pothole. Then it became a bigger pothole. Then it became one of the seven great wonders of New York. A sinkhole the size of a New York intersection opened up in midtown...
New Crest Brownstrips Promise “Authentic British Smile”
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New Crest Brownstrips Promise “Authentic British Smile”

March 9th, 2014 | by Kitz
Cincinnati, OH – As fans of Downton Abbey will tell you, Americans can’t get enough of the Brits these days.  It seems our country has fallen hard for all things English.  From their pompous literary intellect to...
FM Observer Goes Corporate With Initial Public Offering
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FM Observer Goes Corporate With Initial Public Offering

March 8th, 2014 | by Johnnny
Fargo, ND – The FM Observer is taking its paper to Wall Street. FM Observer (FMO) stock is slated to open at $3.141559265359/share next week. Here’s a Q&A the FM Observer did with Nick Hirchert about the upcoming...