Tag Archives: volunteers

Teams Of Foreign Specialists Coming To Fargo To Study The Mating Habits Of Fargo Natives

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Mating habits of Fargo folks to be closely examined by Dr. Abraham Notti-Figgs and his team of sexperts.

Fargo, ND – Fully equipped with lab coats and clipboards, multiple teams of mating habit specialists from various foreign countries will soon be descending upon Fargo for a long-term scientific study.

Dr. Abraham Notti-Figgs will head up the research group comprised of experts from a dozen countries that are particularly interested in the mating habits of Fargo natives.

The scientific study team selected Fargo, North Dakota as the focus of their study based on numerous factors, including 1. general remoteness, 2. extreme weather, 3. excessive alcohol consumption, 4. regional birth rates, and 5. cultural diversity.

Dr. Notti-Figgs explains that their mating habit research study of people native to Fargo will be divided into three (3) main groupings:

◘ Volunteer Video Ventures (V.V.V.)
◘ Secret Stealth Studies (S.S.S.)
◘ Mating Methods Matter (M.M.M.)

If you would like to volunteer for the V.V.V. study, please contact Dr. Abraham Notti-Figgs and his team.

If you would like to not be included in the S.S.S., please maximize the privacy settings on your smartphone, smart TV, and any other smart devices in your home and office.

Interestingly, all the letters in Abraham Notti-Figgs can be re-arranged to spell: Fargo Mating Habits!

FM Observer’s Reader’s New Year’s Resolutions

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Nunc Coepi = Now I Begin

West Fargo, ND – We recently met face-to-face with some of our faithful readers at a local alcoholic establishment to compile a list of all their top New Year resolutions.

So, in case you have not made your New Year’s resolutions yet, or just need some more good ideas, here are the FM Observer’s reader’s Top Ten list of New Year’s resolutions for the new year for you:

◙ Change all passwords to extremely long ones.
◙ Finish Christmas shopping by 4th of July.
◙ Continue to volunteer at soup kitchens.
◙ Dye hair silver to get more respect.
◙ Purge all Minnesota Vikings stuff.
◙ Start exercising in February.
◙ Join a Ping Pong league.
◙ Start clipping coupons.
◙ Get a smarter phone.
◙ Take more napsters.
◙ Drink more beer.
◙ Fight for peace.
◙ Gain 16 pounds.

Volunteers Sought For Deja-Vu Clinical Study

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Do U ever have deja vu? Didn’t U just ask me that?

West Fargo, ND – A new clinical study focusing on Deja Vu is now seeking volunteers who may have had personal experiences with the Deja Vu phenomenon.

The Marzano Clinic will be paying selected volunteers $200 per day as they undergo a full battery of testing designed to isolate and document the Deja Vu occurrences.

A new clinical study focusing on Deja Vu is now seeking volunteers who may have had personal experiences with the Deja Vu phenomenon.

The Marzano Clinic will be paying selected volunteers $200 per day as they undergo a full battery of testing designed to isolate and document the Deja Vu occurrences.

Newly Painted Downtown Fargo Buildings To Add Some Much Needed Color

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Downtown Fargo's New 'Color My World' Project

Downtown Fargo’s Colorization Project

Fargo, ND – Peter Maxim, an NDSU student majoring in Color Psychology, has come up with a great idea to make Downtown Fargo more attractive.

During the summer, Peter’s project called “Color My World” will gradually paint all of the old buildings in historic Downtown Fargo a specific palette of vibrant colors designed to bring the whole area to life.

“Gone will be the daze of drab and boring nothing-colors which have made the downtown area about as inviting as going to a divorce counseling session,” says Peter Maxim as he ponders what colors each individual building will be painted, based on their unique location and aura.

Peter Maxim: “Think of this project as basically a giant three-dimensional paint-by-number project needing hundreds of painters to change Fargo’s entire downtown area into livable art.”

Volunteer painters who help out the Color My World project will be provided free water compliments of the Buy Dehydrated Water company located on the internet.

If you would like to help make Downtown Fargo Great Again, please contact Mr. Peter Maxim or just show up downtown with a paintbrush, some safety glasses and a ladder, if you have one.

Volunteers Needed As Fargo Seeks To Break Beer Drinking Record

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Volunteer to drink some beer!

Fargo, ND – Worthy volunteers are being sought as Fargo gears up to break the world record for the most amount of binge beer drinking performed during a 48-hour weekend.

The record Fargo seeks to break is “average per capita beer drunk by a group of 250 beer drinkers during 48 hours from 6PM on Friday to 6PM on Sunday”.

Madison, Wisconsin currently holds this world record. Last year, their group of 250 beer drinkers each drank an average of 49 pints of beer.

If you think you have what it takes to help Fargo break the record, and would like to volunteer to be a member of this elite recording-breaking drinking group, please sign up at any of the downtown Fargo bars.