Recipes For Success

Joaquin Phoenix’s “Cries Of Anguish” Wins The Oscar For Best Picture

Hollywood, CA – As expected, Joaquin Phoenix’s movie Cries Of Anguish won the Academy Award for Best Picture. Cries Of Anguish is a wonderful movie about cows being artificially inseminated. Then, the cow babies are...

Amy Klobuchar Wrestles Woman To Ground After Being Attacked

Penacook, New Hampshire – Presidential candidate Amy Klobuchar successfully wrestled a Bernie Sanders supporter to the floor after being suddenly attacked while campaigning near New Hampshire’s capital city of...

Weekly Listing Of Divorces In Cass County

Fargo, ND – It’s time once again to list the divorces going down in Cass County. All of the following couples are uncoupling. They have decided to part ways and go in different directions. After some matrimonial...

Fargo Police Add New Dog That Can Detect Weird Activity

Fargo, ND – A new dog is being added to the K-9 team of the Fargo Police Department. Tweek is his name and detecting weirdness is his claim to fame. K–9 Tweek is trained to sniff out any and all types of weird...

After Iowa Caucus App Fails, Iowa Dems Using 1920’s Adding Machine To Try And Calculate The Victor

Des Moines, Iowa – Once caucus leaders realized their new app apparently was unable to perform under pressure, an old adding machine was brought out of a dusty old closet. Seemingly in dire need of a basic adding machine,...

FMObserver Donates Valuable Work Of Art To Popular Soup Kitchen To Boost Morale

Fargo, ND – Your FM Observer has announced plans to donate a very valuable work of art to the Second Lutheran Church soup kitchen in a magnanimous effort to boost mid-winter morale. The soup kitchen, cleverly called...

Male Who Identifies As Female To Compete In Next Miss North Dakota Pageant

Williston, ND – The next Miss North Dakota pageant will include its first-ever male competitor. Hannah Bouncy who grew up on the outskirts of Zap, North Dakota is biologically male but she has totally identified as being...

This Man Doesn’t Remember Who He Is. Can You Help Identify Him?

West Fargo, ND – A man came wandering into our FM Observer Corporate Office Park not remembering his name, if he’s married, where he works, where he lives, or the names of any family or friends. When we asked the man...

Man’s Death Blamed On Panic Attack Caused By Extreme Frustration During Jigsaw Puzzle Tournament

Fargo, ND – What began as a potentially fun afternoon gradually swirled into a personal implosion for one jigsaw puzzle tournament participant. Mr. Lemm Tweed–Clopton entered the annual jigsaw puzzle tournament with...

Corona Virus Now Treatable With Extra Lime

Corona, SD – With another disease heading our way from China, our very own Dr. Orvin Caruso who lives and works in Corona, South Dakota is already well ahead of this new and potentially deadly virus. Dr. Caruso first points...